Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts and personal experiences! I emailed my advisor, told her the 4 courses I was trying to decide on, etc. She told me to go ahead and take all 3 of my courses in the Fall, and then I can audit her class in the Spring -- or just read some of the assigned readings and discuss them with her during our meetings. She even recommended which of the other courses I should take. This definitely made the decision making process a lot easier!
- Ship all your media (books, CDs, DVDs) via USPS. It is shipped at a much cheaper rate. I think you can send about 200lbs. for less than $100.
- Ship your heaviest stuff in large flat rate boxes. I stuffed all my shoes in two boxes and it was $16ish a box. They would have taken up a lot of room in my car.
- Price out freight for shipping furniture. You can get a mattress box from a store and ship it freight for cheaper than it would cost to get a uhaul rental sometimes.
- If you know your parents will be sending you package, leave a bag of off-season clothing for them to use as packaging materials.
- Sell everything you can and rebuy/CL when you get there. You'll be sad when you realize how much you spend in shipping vs. how much it really would have cost to just sell and rebuy.
- Don't forget, the heavier your car, the more gas you go through.
A lot of the things I would say have been said already. So in an effort to say new things:
1. Decide as early as possible what you are and are NOT willing to sacrifice for grad school and academia. Anything worth doing is worth sacrificing a little bit for, but you have to make that decision up front here. Your relationship? Your ability to control where you live? Your free time? Your fertility? A stable job market? Your sleep? Make decisions and then stick to them. You will adjust as you become more advanced - for example, I am much less willing to sacrifice sleep now than I was when I first entered, but then again, I don't have to as much since I have no coursework. I get a good 8 hours almost every night now.
2. Even if you don't currently exercise, consider starting a program. Exercise made me such a healthier person; I felt tired at appropriate times (by that I mean between 11 and 12 at night instead of between 2 and 6 in the morning), I was motivated to eat more healthily, and my mood and energy improved overall.
3. Self-deprecating language aside, remember that you are a "real person" and have a "real life" in grad school. You are not waiting for your "real life" to begin; you are living it. If you remind yourself of that often - even tack it on the wall - remembering to indulge yourself in hobbies, friends, and relaxation time will be easier.
4. Don't expect your cohortmates to become your best buddies. One or two of them may become close friends; you may even date or marry one. But I'd say far more often they become acquaintances or happy hour buddies. My closest friends in grad school are grad students in other departments I met through various means.
5. Go to some of the shit in your department. I know, you're going to get about three zillion emails and you can't do it all, and especially introverted people will feel the temptation to just hit delete and go to *nothing*. But at the very least, when you see professors and they see you, they remember you and think about you when opportunities come up. They see you as a team player and someone who wants to participate in the department when it's time for them to write you recommendations. And sometimes that brown bag or colloquium is really interesting and may get you thinking about your research in new ways. I never thought I'd be interested in social neuroscience, but I love going to the SNS colloquia and it's definitely a consideration for future research. And research excitement is infectious. Even if the topic is the most boring thing you've ever heard, seeing someone else all fired up about their own research sometimes has the effect of making YOU feel more excited about your own, and more motivated to do some work. So don't go to everything, but go to some things, and be thoughtful and ask questions and make comments.
6. Write EVERY DAY. Even if it is just a paragraph, even if it is not academic, set aside some time to write something every day. Getting in the habit of writing every day makes it easier for the words to flow when you sit down to do academic writing. If you have the most ridiculous writer's block, then just start babbling about your day on paper, or even just writing about how frustrating it is being blocked. The only way to bust writer's block is to get in there. I used to be one of those students who would wait for flashes of inspiration to come along before I sat down and wrote. Not only is that untenable given the amount of writing you will have to do, it also encourages marathon writing sessions, which in turn encourages being up until the wee hours of the morning and getting no sleep. So do yourself a favor and write often.
6b. And just write. Your first draft will be crap; that's what editing is for. Don't worry about that perfect citation or trying to remember the quote exactly right or the exact percentage. That's what editing is for.. Just make a note of it and move on. You can fix it later, but if you break your stride, it's more difficult to get started again.
7. I think what helps in learning to say "no" is developing a thicker skin. Sometimes we say "yes" because we are worried about what others thing about us. And while yes, I do think we need to worry what SOME others think about us, some of the time, don't spend too much too worrying about it. The less of a damn I gave the easier it became for me to say "No, I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do that." And you don't always have to give an explanation if you don't want or have one. It depends on who you are telling no. I think this can be especially hard for women because we are used to being expected to (or wanting to) take care of everyone and want people to like us personally. I've given up on trying to make everyone like me personally. I have friends for that. Now I just want people to respect me as a scholar and a professional. And sometimes, that involves saying "no." Because people will perceive you a lot better if you do a few things very well than if you do a lot of things poorly because you don't have enough time.
8. MOST importantly, remember that a PhD is a means to an end. Enjoy it. But everything you do in the program should have an end goal of getting you a job. Do the things that will help you get there and eschew the things that won't. And your goal from Day One is to get that job, so start putting the things on your CV that will help you achieve that goal. If you need teaching experience in your field because 95% of the jobs are at teaching institutions, then TA or adjunct regardless of whether your professor (who is probably at an R1 and likely got his job in the 1980s or 1990s when things were marginally better) tells you you don't "need" to. If you want to go into industry, find a way to quietly do an industry internship or two during grad school (and yes, a lot of them will take PhD students. I did one).
Also I recently took a weekend vacation (I suggest this to all) where I actually managed to sleep and feel like a normal person again who was more interested in the best kayak/hike spots then grad school...
However, that was short lived....but worth it! I felt sane again.
Haven't heard anything definitive yet but I called Syracuse to make sure my application was complete yesterday and the lady on the other end told me they had one meeting already and would be meeting again soon with mailings going out in 2 weeks or so. When I contacted Clark to make sure everything made it there in one piece she told me they would be contacting people around mid-February. I'm at FIU right now finishing my undergrad and they have multiple deadlines and admit people on a semi-continuous basis. Georgia and Rutgers I haven't heard anything from at all besides a more conversational tone in email with a professor from Georgia (though I'm sure I'm reading too far into that...)
Posted this in another thread but here is what I know:
Syracuse is meeting again soon, applicants should be notified in the next 2-3 weeks.
Clark told me about a month ago that they would be contacting people either way in mid-February.
I haven't heard anything definitive from any of the other schools I've applied to. Georgia's grad secretary retired right around the same time apps were due which delayed the process a bit. I'm not sure if this is going to affect when they contact applicants or not.
For those others who are waiting to hear from Indonesia, I spoke to a former Fulbrighter to Indonesia who said it shouldn't be too much longer - he mentioned that Indonesia is usually pretty fast about getting the decisions in (compared to some of the other country committees. I think it's fair to guess we'll hear by late March or early April. Hopefully not took much longer now.
Jumat reacted to kco29 in Taking class with advisor
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