oseirus

so if I'm reading this right, weddings are overrated and simple is better? Ladies I might need your testimony in about a year or so. So please make yourselves available to provide affidavits to get me out of hock

get your boombox out and go stand outside the DGS's house and play Peter Gabriel ... 100% guarantee they'll admit you on the spot

get your boombox out and go stand outside the DGS's house and play Peter Gabriel ... 100% guarantee they'll admit you on the spot

right now I would take that acceptance since it comes fully funded ... no lie!

Dear applicant,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been recommended for admission to the Department of Impostor Syndrome at the University of Self-Hatred, School of Low Self-Esteem. Your application was laughable and your credentials are dubious, which is why you are a perfect fit for our school. In addition, we are offering you a TA-ship, which will give you the opportunity to feel like a moron in front of an entire class of undergraduates!

We think you'll have an absolutely terrible time here, and really wish you wouldn't bother coming.

All jokes aside, I think if the schools are that close (in your heart), then you have to start getting a bit shallow. By which I mean, which school puts me in a better position once I'm done. Or which school has a better location, re: family, friends, lovers, enemies, etc. Then again you could also look at each school's undergrad population ranking amongst things like the US News & World stratification. If you TA for schools in the top 25, it doesn't necessarily mean you are one of the best TAs around but it doesn't hurt to throw that bit of cache at simple minded folks (such as me). Now I am speaking as someone whose background isn't in academia so it take it w/a pinch of salt.

man this is taking on levels of paranoia that would be disturbingly funny if people's futures weren't on the line

man this is taking on levels of paranoia that would be disturbingly funny if people's futures weren't on the line

man this is taking on levels of paranoia that would be disturbingly funny if people's futures weren't on the line

Dearest applicant: thank you for your generous donation to our "how many suckers can we get to fund the next kegger?" endowment. Sadly, since you were no where near our rigorous academic standards and nor did you know anyone worthy enough to make us think you could help elevate our program in shape, we must reject your application at this time. However, we do look forward to receiving your contributions again next year. Best of luck in whatever menial labor job you end up in.

Dean I. Hate You, PhD

After reviewing your credentials in application anxiety, we were impressed to learn of your obsessive, five-minute e-mail checks, your irritable mood swings and general graduate school neurosis, it is our pleasure to inform you that you have been admitted...

...to a mental institution.

We can even offer you a fellowship that includes your own padded room and a straight jacket!

Dearest applicant: thank you for your generous donation to our "how many suckers can we get to fund the next kegger?" endowment. Sadly, since you were no where near our rigorous academic standards and nor did you know anyone worthy enough to make us think you could help elevate our program in shape, we must reject your application at this time. However, we do look forward to receiving your contributions again next year. Best of luck in whatever menial labor job you end up in.

Dean I. Hate You, PhD

Dearest applicant: thank you for your generous donation to our "how many suckers can we get to fund the next kegger?" endowment. Sadly, since you were no where near our rigorous academic standards and nor did you know anyone worthy enough to make us think you could help elevate our program in shape, we must reject your application at this time. However, we do look forward to receiving your contributions again next year. Best of luck in whatever menial labor job you end up in.

Dean I. Hate You, PhD

Close that tab, pop some dramamine (if you're the motion sickness type) and enjoy the weekend ... or at least in exactly 79 mins

Dearest applicant: thank you for your generous donation to our "how many suckers can we get to fund the next kegger?" endowment. Sadly, since you were no where near our rigorous academic standards and nor did you know anyone worthy enough to make us think you could help elevate our program in shape, we must reject your application at this time. However, we do look forward to receiving your contributions again next year. Best of luck in whatever menial labor job you end up in.

Dean I. Hate You, PhD

Well it's almost the weekend so if the schools want to be cruel I hope they do it w/in the next 2 hours cos happy hour starts @ 4:30 and I have some drunks to chaperone.

I've become an internet troll now ... I hope the schools are happy

High fives and freeze frame!

No thank you ... you inspired me ... team work ... now cue the action MUSIC!

That's the beauty of dreams ... they can be rewritten ... that "othe" school is now officially your nightmare school and let us look for ways to slander AND libel said instutiton ... I'll start ... I hear their dorms were purposefully infected with bedbugs ... good thing you avoided that hell hole

I blame the liberal media and the vast right wing consipracy!

I have a six pack of Chernobly .... let's do this!

Come April 15 I am going to miss you lunatics and madmen

...i didn't say it so you could like it!

i blame the media-blamers.