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crazygirl2012

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  1. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 got a reaction from Zaea in What Do We Think About Dating other Grad Students?   
    I'll play! A girl messaged me who didn't really seem like my type for multiple reasons, but I didn't want to discount anyone right away, so I agreed to meet her for a date. I gave her my number, and she started texting me all. day. every. day. When I began to ignore some of her texts (like the ones that just said "what are you doing?"), she got upset. I hadn't even met her yet, and I'm the type of person who would be completely turned off and downright terrified by anyone being clingy. I was very nice when I called off the date, and she seemed okay with it. A month later, she messaged me to say hello and ask if we could still talk online occasionally. A couple messages later, she casually mentioned that she had been arrested that week for assaulting someone (not in self-defense), but that it was okay and she just had a bad temper. Yeah, I didn't reply to that message. The story would have been way better had I actually gone through with the date... but I can't say I regret canceling!
  2. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 got a reaction from sqxz in Sh*t people say when you are applying to grad school   
    "Haha... that's a lot of money!" At the registrar's office at my university, as I was writing a check to them so they would send my transcripts. I know it's a lot of money. You're the ones charging me for it. Thanks for the reminder though.
  3. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 got a reaction from PostGradLimbo in Sh*t people say when you are applying to grad school   
    That might be my favorite.
  4. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 got a reaction from Furcifera in Sh*t Grad Applicants Say   
    Typical conversation with parents...

    "Don't tell me they'll accept me! You don't know what you're talking about!"

    2 minutes later...

    "What do you mean, I'll have other options if they don't accept me? You don't believe in me?"
  5. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 got a reaction from gwualum4mpp in Sh*t Grad Applicants Say   
    Typical conversation with parents...

    "Don't tell me they'll accept me! You don't know what you're talking about!"

    2 minutes later...

    "What do you mean, I'll have other options if they don't accept me? You don't believe in me?"
  6. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 got a reaction from dat_nerd in Sh*t Grad Applicants Say   
    Typical conversation with parents...

    "Don't tell me they'll accept me! You don't know what you're talking about!"

    2 minutes later...

    "What do you mean, I'll have other options if they don't accept me? You don't believe in me?"
  7. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 got a reaction from perfectionist in What size laptop do you use?   
    I have a 13" MacBook Pro. For the most part, I like it! The size is great. I carry it in a soft case that fits in my backpack.
  8. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 got a reaction from starrylanterns in What Do We Think About Dating other Grad Students?   
    I'll play! A girl messaged me who didn't really seem like my type for multiple reasons, but I didn't want to discount anyone right away, so I agreed to meet her for a date. I gave her my number, and she started texting me all. day. every. day. When I began to ignore some of her texts (like the ones that just said "what are you doing?"), she got upset. I hadn't even met her yet, and I'm the type of person who would be completely turned off and downright terrified by anyone being clingy. I was very nice when I called off the date, and she seemed okay with it. A month later, she messaged me to say hello and ask if we could still talk online occasionally. A couple messages later, she casually mentioned that she had been arrested that week for assaulting someone (not in self-defense), but that it was okay and she just had a bad temper. Yeah, I didn't reply to that message. The story would have been way better had I actually gone through with the date... but I can't say I regret canceling!
  9. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 got a reaction from Linelei in What Do We Think About Dating other Grad Students?   
    I'll play! A girl messaged me who didn't really seem like my type for multiple reasons, but I didn't want to discount anyone right away, so I agreed to meet her for a date. I gave her my number, and she started texting me all. day. every. day. When I began to ignore some of her texts (like the ones that just said "what are you doing?"), she got upset. I hadn't even met her yet, and I'm the type of person who would be completely turned off and downright terrified by anyone being clingy. I was very nice when I called off the date, and she seemed okay with it. A month later, she messaged me to say hello and ask if we could still talk online occasionally. A couple messages later, she casually mentioned that she had been arrested that week for assaulting someone (not in self-defense), but that it was okay and she just had a bad temper. Yeah, I didn't reply to that message. The story would have been way better had I actually gone through with the date... but I can't say I regret canceling!
  10. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 got a reaction from Linelei in What Do We Think About Dating other Grad Students?   
    If and when I get into a serious relationship in grad school, I would love for my partner to be another grad student. Really. Preferably not in the same department, probably not in the same field, and maybe even not at the same university. I'll be about a 45-minute drive away from a much larger university. Considering how much I love my personal space and time, that would actually be a perfect distance! And if I do get married eventually, I would prefer to marry another academic.

    ...then again, I'm a lesbian, so some people are going to have issues with my relationships no matter who I date.
  11. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 got a reaction from MartaRH in Sh*t people say when you are applying to grad school   
    That might be my favorite.
  12. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 got a reaction from ThousandsHardships in Sh*t people say when you are applying to grad school   
    From other college seniors: "Grad school? Oh, that's nice. I'm applying for JOBS."

    Generally from older people: "Grad school? Haha, must be nice! Are your parents paying for that?"

    I'll be fully funded and constantly working, thankyouverymuch.
  13. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 got a reaction from psychdork in List of things to do instead of checking admit status   
    Here are my strategies:

    1. Wash dishes. You can't check your email while washing dishes without damaging your laptop or smartphone, and you can't check your application statuses and Grad Cafe from ALL THE PLACES at ALL THE TIMES without your technology.

    2. Sit on your bedroom floor and eat cereal straight from the box. A lot of cereal.

    3. Call a fellow applicant and tell them to get off Grad Cafe because it's unhealthy, but oh, if you're already on it, can you check this one school of mine and tell me if anything has changed in the past 3 minutes?

    4. Stare at a wall and think about all the horrible things that could go wrong in your interviews. When you've thought of everything, think again. You'll come up with something else.

    5. If you're in college, remember that second semester seniors are technically still students. Consider doing something for one of your classes. Laugh at the mere thought.

    6. Watch YouTube videos of ostriches.

    7. Read Twilight. Yes, the waiting game has broken me.
  14. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 reacted to laura_b in Students won't think critically   
    The generation that is freshman and sophomores in college now spent most of their school careers in full-on "no child left behind" mode. They weren't taught critical thinking. They were taught to memorize facts and pass tests. They were also taught that everyone gets a trophy and you should never say anything critical because that's bullying.
  15. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 reacted to SeriousSillyPutty in Getting out smoothly   
    If you can, talk to your advisor about your concerns -- keeping options open, but expressing your issues. If you don't feel comfortable taking to him/her, you might try the career center on campus. That would be removed enough that nobody would be judging you, but the might be able to give a sense of what people would do with an MA, a PhD outside of academia, or give you a sense of the jobs you could apply for were you to leave the program.
    Either way, I would recommend getting something in your life other than school; that's helped me to decouple my self-worth from my academic performance, and after midterms, that was a real life saver. Even though the extras take time, it is good to have people in my life who see value in me that doesn't depend on performance at school, and it's good to remind me that my life is more than sum of my classes, which can get pretty dreary at times.
    Good luck!
  16. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 reacted to juilletmercredi in First Year PhD Experiences   
    That has not been my experience either. I feel like my department is nirvana based upon what I've heard other graduate students describe. Not only are the professors typically sane, they WANT to see us succeed. Twice I have been so burned out and depressed I've wanted to leave graduate school for other reasons, and twice I have only met understanding and sympathy from my advisor and professors, and twice I've decided to stay because I know I have their support and I can complete. I'm sure they do talk about us, but if they do they keep it to themselves. And our DGS is incredibly supportive in organizing workshops, brown bags, and forwarding job opportunities and conference calls to us. My first year was "bad" in terms of adjustment and workload, but I enjoyed it a lot. I've liked or loved all of the professors I've had for classes here.

    Your program sounds toxic, and you have to decide whether it's worth it for you to stick around given it's placement rates and your advisor's network. Personally I think graduate school hard enough without having to deal with horrible professors and poor support, and I'd advise you to get out before you've invested 3, 4, 5 years into this place. Also, food for thought: getting through coursework is the "easy" part, and you typically don't need much support for that. It's the later years of graduate school that are harder, when you have to pass comprehensive exams and start writing your dissertation. If they are this nasty when you are taking classes, what will they be like when you have to rely solely on their evaluation for progressing in the program through exams and dissertation? What good is their network if they won't share it with you because they think you suck?
  17. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 reacted to SeriousSillyPutty in First Year PhD Experiences   
    OP- That seems strange. I'm taking a stats class through the psych department right now, and while the class is challenging, the prof and TA are very accessible, and it is clearly the goal that everyone succeed, leaving the class with the tools they'll need for their research. I'm taking a physics class, and while I'm not doing well in the class, it is clear that the prof is not trying to "get us" -- he even threw us a softball question on our last exam to help make up for how poorly most of us did on the first. In my department, I know there are politics and gossip to be had if I wanted to look for it, but everyone is well-behaved and expresses support for students. Even the department chair, who in class presents the personal of, "I don't care about your personal life or your opinions" is very tactful about how he phrases suggestions and deliberate about fostering an inclusive environment.
    I know that, as an undergrad TA, I would lament about "the kids" in class and how they refused to think, so I'm forgiving of profs who do something similar at my expense, but if they're not being discrete about it -- if they're deliberately putting you down to your face -- that seems like a lousy atmosphere. Maybe poli sci attracts more "politicy" (read: competitive, manipulative, two-faced) profs than average or something... or maybe it's a university culture thing?

    Glad the liaison knows about it. If that doesn't change things, maybe you and a few from your cohort should set up a meeting with the dean and see what his/her assessment is of the situation. If the harassing of grad students is causing good people to leave the school, the dean should care.
  18. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 reacted to Eigen in Not busy enough?   
    No, I'm bad about my e-mail. Heck, I'll wake up in the middle of the night and respond to it sometimes. That said, most of the time I'll ignore my e-mail in the sense that unless it's urgent, I won't respond to it until the next time I'm in my office. I will scan them as they come in to make sure it's not an emergency (ie, half of the lab blew up, the refrigerators are out and we need to move all the samples before they thaw, something's flooding) or data that someone needs urgently. But I don't usually respond in the evening, or over the course of the weekend. I'll take care of that the next morning/Monday morning when I sit down with a cup of coffee at my desk.

    Also, of what you listed, I would only classify a portion of it as "work".

    So for me, in the lab sciences, I spend around 8-10 hours on the weekdays in my lab, working. Then another handful of hours on the weekends.

    I also do outreach to local schools, but I usually don't consider that work time. In other words, I don't let it cut into my research time.

    I'm also the president of our schools graduate student government, and sit on a bunch of committees- I consider that quasi-work time, depending on what I'm doing.

    I don't teach regularly (research fellowship) but when I do, I definitely consider prep and grading "work" time.

    I don't consider networking (socializing) work- I consider it something I do outside of "work" times.

    I think a better way to look at "work" is to set aside those things you consider essential to your health and personal life- time with family, time to cook good meals, time for hobbies, time for exercise- and make sure you've got time for that scheduled in every day.

    And then let the rest of your stuff fill in the cracks around it.

    As to the idea that there will be stretches you'll "work" 24/7, I just disagree. Even really busy stretches (grant deadlines, publication deadlines, etc) I think it's really important to make sure you're protecting yourself in terms of getting enough sleep, and enough outside stimulation that you stay fresh, and managing your time and work accordingly.

    If I'm having to work 24/7, chances are I've screwed something up in my time management in the past that's put me in such a bind, or I've not learned enough how to say no and I'm involved in too many things to maintain a healthy pace.

    At least in the sciences (although I've seen the same in social sciences and humanities) this is the advice I hear over and over from faculty mentors and given to new grad students/post-docs/junior faculty on the CHE forums.
  19. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 reacted to ankurshah in To continue or not to   
    Hi,

    It seems like you have hit a rough patch. Indeed a very rough patch. My advice i think is simple. When doing a PhD project, if everything seems crap and you project motivates you to drag youself to the lab, then pls do not quit completely. If the project has become completely immaterial for you, then a smart choice would be to quit PhD, instead get a master's from the same institute. There is no need to reapply again, you have already taken enough courses, get a Master's in the program.

    Also, it really it not a requirement for you to get a PhD and enter academia as a research professor. Am sure there are so many colleges, community colleges or just bachelor's granting college where you can go and teach. You can even enter schools witha PhD. if you decide to take this path, then you might need to find middle ground. Forget about what happened. Think about what you have, slowly and steadily tighten your priorites and lower the goal of your research, and try getting a degree ASAp. i guess,with2-3 publication and 2-2.5 more years you can move on.

    I am sure, its more easier said then done, but if make a decision when you get panicked, there is a good chance u might regreat this in the future. better take a vacation, come back relaxed a bit and think over lil more. talk to friends and strangers... the more you can discuss the problem the more informed decision u can make
  20. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 got a reaction from briannemg in Sh*t people say when you are applying to grad school   
    From other college seniors: "Grad school? Oh, that's nice. I'm applying for JOBS."

    Generally from older people: "Grad school? Haha, must be nice! Are your parents paying for that?"

    I'll be fully funded and constantly working, thankyouverymuch.
  21. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 reacted to nikki3927 in I HATE grad school already   
    I fully support you if you want to quit. I'm in a grad program right now for job training, and I hate how much work there is and that I don't have enough time to do all the things I want to do. And what's worse is that I can't talk to anyone about - everyone tells you to jsut stick with it.

    Here's the thing - grad school's not as bad for me, but college was. I loved high school because it was fun, but I hated college so much, yet everyone you talked to said to suck it up or stick it out. Well, that's what I did, and I still regret it to this day. I am different person because of my college experience, I still have horrible flashbacks to my miserable time, and I will never have the life I used to have before college. I would give anything in the world to go back and drop out,

    All I want to do in my life now is be a quitting validator, to help other people quit when they don't like something. So if you aren't enjoying your experience and don't think it will lead you where you want to be, I encourage you to quit. I would have given anything in the world for someone to accept when I said I wanted to quit college, because I meant it. I hope you take this as validation and at least leave quitting on the table as an option.
  22. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 reacted to theologyofyourface in "There are several areas of concern..."   
    I agree with what Eigen and TakeruK said, basically.

    My father is a biology professor. He's not at a top university but he's pretty solid in his field, and is in fact the chair of the department at his (medium-sized state) university. I was born while he was in grad school and I can tell you that he did not then work 100 hours a week, nor has he done so since. He works 40 hours/week--sometimes during crunch periods (end of the semester, big grant deadlines, etc.) it's 60 hours/week, and sometimes during the summer it's more like 30, but it depends. It is, in fact, possible to be an academic and also be a normal person. My father has three kids, is the president of a large charity's governing board, volunteers for a local school's science programs, and enjoys going to bed at 9:30 PM most nights. He doesn't spend every waking second of his life working in the lab. And wouldn't you know, he's still managed to make some pretty cool discoveries in the past few years!
  23. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 reacted to TakeruK in "There are several areas of concern..."   
    I first saw this a few weeks ago (when the letter was more recent I think). I also remember some other content in this letter so I think this is edited a bit.

    I don't disagree with the numbers exactly. I read about some other profs comment on the letter and they said that yeah, they probably worked 80-100 hours some weeks in order to get where they are. I don't doubt that in order to be the top of your field, you do need to put in these hours.

    However, like Eigen said, this is not what all grad school is about. You don't have to go into grad school with the goal of being the top of your field. That's not my goal either.

    What I don't like about the letter is the tone. The department asked its graduate students for feedback and after the students' honest feedback, this was their response. In addition, the tone of the letter would make someone like me, i.e. someone without the ambitions of being the top 5% or whatever, feel very discouraged. There is nothing wrong with encouraging the "elite" to perform better, but there is something wrong when you tell other students that they are not working hard enough. Especially if you imply that having a family (or wanting to do things with your life other than research) is a "disadvantage".

    The other thing I don't like is that the expectations are unreasonable for the "reward" that we get out of grad school. We are paid very little for the number of hours we put in and even accounting for the benefits of education, experience, etc. it is not worth 80-100 hours of my life per week. I work about 50 hours a week, maybe 60 when things are really busy and I plan to continue working that.

    80-100 hours is a large amount of time to be putting in every week and I feel like some of this is "when I was your age, I walked uphill both ways to school" kind of talk. My school's (Caltech) graduate student council recently released a survey of grad students asking them how many hours of research do they do per week. Our astronomy graduate students work a median of 40 hours per week. I think the 95th percentile in my department is 60 hours a week. So, I encourage others to NOT think of this letter as representative of graduate programs at all!

    By the way, here is more context. Here is the full letter: http://jjcharfman.tu...-correspondance
    From the longer text, and from matching up certain names, abbreviations and other terminology, the consensus is that this letter came from the University of Arizona's Astronomy Department. Their website is here: https://www.as.arizona.edu/ (if you want to check / match up terminology). Finally, I've also heard that not everyone that supposed "signed" that letter actually wrote/agreed to all of the text. So, I interpret this letter as the opinion of a small number of people that found this technique/work habit worked for them, but I don't think you can generalize this opinion to the entire UofA Astronomy department, and definitely not to all of graduate school.
  24. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 reacted to Eigen in "There are several areas of concern..."   
    See, the problem I see in this thread (and in may similar trains of discussion) is that people lump "graduate school" all together.

    While there are similarities, there's a difference between being, say, a good college athlete and an olympic caliber athlete. There are top level, highly competitive programs that are there to push (and create) the upper echelon of academics. Those people that love their work so much that it becomes their life- just like with any other top career (music and athletics come to mind).

    Then there are other, solid programs for people who really love what they do, but don't love it so much that it's the only thing in their life. I go to such a program, and there are a number of them out there.

    Will I be highly competitive for jobs teaching at a top-10 school? Probably not, but I knew that going in. I like my work, and I like to teach, and I would be perfectly happy at any of the lower tier schools out there.

    There's nothing wrong with "elite" programs that cater to and are built around people who are obsessed with their work. But those don't make up the entirety of graduate education.
  25. Upvote
    crazygirl2012 reacted to Bearcat1 in Sh*t people say when you are applying to grad school   
    "A PhD will take you how long?!?? You know you could be a 'real' doctor in the same amount of time!"

    Yes!!! Thank you!!! Getting my PhD in art history was actually just about how much time it will take, but since you've explained to me that I could be an MD in the same amount of time, that does seem like a much better plan.
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