anxious_aspirant
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Posts posted by anxious_aspirant
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Maybe I'm just paranoid
No need to be ashamed of THAT in this forum
. I'm just glad you guys show that there are others being equally irrational, so that I don't have to get meta-paranoid about my own paranoia. -
The biggest thing I'm concerned about is when to squeeze an adoption in there. The timing on that seems horrendous. I do want to help raise one child so the next generation of children isn't a total army of bigoted Rick Santorum Jrs. That'll be tough.
Most people (non-academic careers), when I talk about getting a PhD, initially say, "How nice!" Then they ask how long it takes, and they look at me a bit strangely - total attitude change. This whole life-timeline norm is not conducive to these kinds of plans. I've had some semi-serious stuff (tenure-track relationship?) end because I'm not willing to "start a family," if I ever want one, until I've reached my goals. Factor in that I might need another application cycle (or more), and I'm looking at my 30s, too. The sad part is when others turn that into a guilt trip - as if being educated and having the career you REALLY want is selfish. Really, I think I'd be a better parent in that case.
Not to mention that some guys call it quits when I say I'm not willing to physically bear their children. If that's not an experience to push me in the gender studies direction, I don't know what is.
I could rant about preconceptions about family and age/gender all day. Apologies. But these "plans" do set us apart from the norm a bit.
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Is the pervading view still that *both* acceptance posts were fellowships? As in, there are more acceptances to come? I know I asked before, but I wonder about the number of students they typically admit. Since there are some MA acceptance discussions here, I've become more dubious about holding out hope. Then again, I suppose every school has its own timeline quirks.
Not that I expect any true solutions (aside from the official word), but perhaps for a while, I can be sustained by your conjectures.
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Right.
There's a narrow path to walk on this board, between being appropriately supportive and being completely honest. Fit absolutely is super important. But "fit" is a deliberately nebulous term. And as much as we all want our focus to appear unique, schools probably aren't parsing our definitions of that focus as closely as we like. We talk a lot about how problems like grades and GREs can be mitigated, which is good, because they definitely can be. But at times that talk goes overboard to the point where we're acting as if they don't matter at all, when they do. And as SP said, schools are rejected literally hundreds of immensely qualified applicants. In that context, even problems that are considered minor can make the difference.
I'm also glad that the perception of BA/MA school competitiveness has come up. Because it does matter. Again, we tend to minimize it because people can and have gotten into top-flight programs with noncompetitive BAs and MAs. But look-- that stuff does matter. They do care and it is a factor. I think people don't want to talk about it as much because it's something that we truly can't change. And I certainly am someone who has dealt with that dynamic; my BA school was open admissions and my MA school was not very competitive at all. I'm not saying this stuff at all to discourage; quite the opposite. When people are taking stock of where to go from here and trying to evaluate themselves, these issues need to come into play.
To amend my earlier post, I worry about ALL of this. The most annoying part, perhaps, being that though test scores can surely keep you out, they don't really get you in. The results board consistently shows people getting in with significantly lower scores and GPAs than mine (not to sound bitchy - because I know I have more significant weak points in other areas, namely the SoP). And as a teacher myself, I'll be the first to admit that standardized test scores are a poor measure of skill. Yet, something in me wants them to mean something, because I did work for them. Also the idea that the reputation of your school is somehow a measure of the quality of work you did there - this isn't something I want to think about, but alas, must. It's not that my undergrad institution has a poor reputation, but it isn't so widely known - perhaps not a coincidence that the most positive response I've received is from a school not too far (geographically) from my undergrad?
Have any of you admitted people or current students discussed these things with actual professors or DGS at your schools?? Would love to hear an "official" point of view. Sometimes I think my own professors were too encouraging, letting the fact that they know me and my work overshadow the adcomm's outsider perspective.
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Or, conversely, unstated reaction to said schools: "Why...why don't you love me...?" *sniff* Like they're emotionally distant parents causing serious psychological damage.
Too much? Probably.
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This is something I wonder about, as well. I was advised by a couple of people that unless the program stated a preference, you should submit the piece of writing that is your best. So, that's what I did, and my writing sample only (very) loosely connected to my SoP (in that part of my focus lies in women's studies). But, my writing sample was on a postmodern Southern novel, which couldn't be further from my interests.
Unfortunately, the MA program I am in is very small, so even though it's a 2 year program, I have only been able to take 1 class in the area of my interest, and we take a comp exam but have no master's thesis.
Does anyone else have an opinion on this? Does the writing sample absolutely have to connect to the SoP?
I echo this question. I referenced my writing sample in my SoP and used it to transition into the more contemporary concerns I'd like to explore in future graduate study, but the connections are conceptual/theoretical, not era- or content-based. I do wonder if this was a problem. I submitted a supplementary writing sample about a postmodern text as a reinforcement, but of course, can't expect all schools to read past the initial sample when you consider the numbers. On the other hand, I can see the value in showing a range of expertise, seeing as I'm one of those without an undergraduate major in English.
I'd be interested to hear from people who have been accepted about how their application materials "fit" together.
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jma310 - *Thanks.* Don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found this forum recently!
Good luck, all.
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I'm *technically* applying "straight" from undergrad in that my BA is the only thing that "counts" toward anything (too many air quotes?) Time-wise, though, I'm not - have a masters in another subject, taught a couple of years since.
kelannrob, I feel your pain. It's a struggle trying to interpret the info from schools and yet not read into it too heavily. The wait list emails for me (UMass) are encouraging and expound how great the chances are, and in the same breath I get the "no guarantees" caveat. I'll take it over rejection, but the vagueness of this thing is out of control. I've started emailing profs. at my wait-list school to get feedback on initial research ideas, especially if there are connections to their own work, just to start laying a groundwork in the off chance that I attend.
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An acceptance right now might turn me into a believer. Divine light from the heavens and whatever else.
Also, best thread title I've seen in a while. Instant reaction: YES.
I think "Waiting list is NOT the end!" has become a personal mantra, hopefully with equally divine/revelatory qualities.
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Cash prizes should be awarded to anyone who survives this process without going mad.
Has anyone else on here been crippled by self-doubt and feelings of academic inadequacy in the past? Because this process is just about the worst thing you could prescribe for said people.
I started teaching high school 3 years ago and (this is going to sound worse than I intend it), I started to understand that I might be an intelligent person. Thank you, grad schools, for ensuring that that illusion crumbles.
Hmph.
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Yank - The PhD was always my plan. I knew in high school that I wanted one, but I got sick of making eight bucks an hour and mooching off my parents, so I started teaching as something that was supposed to be short term. Somehow, it took me 8 years to go back for my MA. I should have never taken the time off!! Teaching has been great; it's just never been what I've wanted to do with the rest of my life, and once I got back into the swing of college, I knew that's where I am supposed to be! So here's hoping that my last year of teaching high school will be coming soon! If this year isn't the last, hopefully, next year will be.
Same, same, same here, except I was more split between arts & lit when I was in high school. But I REALLY don't want to let this high school teaching thing go on for too long and just settle for it. Then again, I wonder if I should count myself lucky that I'm at a (public) school where I essentially design my own courses. And that I have a steady paycheck.
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This is my first year applying (I applied to 16 programs!). I'm finishing up my MA this summer. I've heard back from 8 schools, with only 1 acceptance, and as of now, I'm on the waitlist for funding. I'm not willing to go to a program and pay out-of-state tuition, so in my mind, right now I'm not going anywhere next year.
Additionally, this whole process has me confused. I'm surprised how many schools I haven't heard a word from, and yet I see acceptances, rejections, and waitlists posted on the results boards to those schools. When do these people let you know where you stand???
Luckily (or not so luckily, depending how you look at it), I've been a high school teacher for 9 years, so if I don't get in anywhere, what's one more year of secondary school?
At this point, I am planning on going for round 2, as I've become discouraged by this whole process and don't have much confidence in the schools I have yet to hear from. I wish I would have found this forum about 3 months ago because I think my SoP would have been completely different and much more specific than it is. I have a 4.0 GPA, so I feel good about that, but my degree isn't from a famous university, so I wonder now if I made a mistake going there.
If I go for round 2, I will continue to teach and delay my graduation by continuing to take at least one class in the fall (I am scheduled to finish this summer). During that time, I will revise my SoP, get a different LoR (from a professor that is a known name), revise my writing sample, and try to present at a couple more conferences. I may also retake the GRE, but I'm not sure because I see mixed feedback on the forums about that. Currently, I have decent scores, but they could be better. I might also reach out to a few professors at my top choice programs because I've realized (thanks to these forums) how important fit is.
Additionally, I question my SoP. Should I put something down that I know I don't want to study just because it might get me in? Is it ok to feel like a fraud? Or, do I just stick with what I love and somehow make a university feel comfortable in taking on someone with my interests?
As you can see, I'm filled with doubt and indecision!
Ditto on the fraud thing. I could really sell a research interest I don't care about...but is that worth it...?
Like you, I also teach HS (for the past three years). Nice to know I have job security...but i want so much more! I'm waiting on UConn and Northeastern, too. They're my last hope!
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I'm still waiting on 3/6. I'm using it as an excuse to lament about my future, too, perhaps to a really unhealthy point. Plan B just makes me depressed...really, even just the fact that it's called Plan B. They really need to get going on this, I can't take the suspense.
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I'm also worried about this to no end, also perhaps prematurely, but as an anxiety-ridden human being, I've clearly focused on my weakest point about these programs and blown it out of proportion. I posted this in another thread:
"To all you lucky folks out there (of whom I am infinitely jealous) -
Not sure if there have been posts about this before (couldn't find any good ones), but how do you guys expect to fare with your schools' foreign language requirements? They seem to vary school to school, and both of my advisor-type professors told me to pay no attention to language requirements. I took this to heart, since it worried me most about these programs. I'd have to add a second foreign language to my repertoire from scratch...
So, my question is, are you really all trilingual, or are you planning on meeting the requirement other ways? Any specific info about your school or info that they've provided to you about it? Figured it would be good to get perspectives from you guys, as the luckier applicants, who might be planning this sort of thing.
Thanks for any feedback. (& good luck being scholarly
)"So, in case people didn't see it because it was unrelated to the actual thread topic, I'll echo yank and implore you to share your advice/experiences/advice from other professors you've heard.
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To all you lucky folks out there (of whom I am infinitely jealous) -
Not sure if there have been posts about this before (couldn't find any good ones), but how do you guys expect to fare with your schools' foreign language requirements? They seem to vary school to school, and both of my advisor-type professors told me to pay no attention to language requirements. I took this to heart, since it worried me most about these programs. I'd have to add a second foreign language to my repertoire from scratch...
So, my question is, are you really all trilingual, or are you planning on meeting the requirement other ways? Any specific info about your school or info that they've provided to you about it? Figured it would be good to get perspectives from you guys, as the luckier applicants, who might be planning this sort of thing.
Thanks for any feedback. (& good luck being scholarly
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Ditto, rawera. IT Crowd > Big Bang Theory.
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To the original poster, if you want to supplement Sontag, DEFINITELY get a hold of Barthes's Camera Lucida. I encountered it in 2 art history courses before my lit theory seminar, and it all fit together well in the long run. A good supplement to Benjamin's "Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction."
To supplement the second post, I'd also supplement Madwoman with Spivak's later reflections on Jane Eyre and related texts. I use both in a Brit Lit course I teach to provide multiple views of the novel.
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Hmm, didn't see anymore Phd acceptances go up on the board today. So was it just the two fellowships that we're aware of? Trying to figure out if should consider this story closed as well . . .
Ughh...don't say it...it would (most likely) be the end of the road for me.
Does anyone know how many new PhDs they typically accept?
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I love how positive and supportive this board is.
I agree with your points too.Thanks, Isidore and TripWillis. I've been really impressed with the supportive nature of these boards overall. You're gentle(wo)men and scholars, all.
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Interview feedback: They were very relaxed and informal. I spoke with Peggy Woods (assistant director), who was a pleasure to converse with. Interesting tidbit was that they don't have a formal TA evaluation system. They're willing to let you keep going so long as you have an eye toward improving your teaching.
Am I a lone wolf here as a waitlisted candidate who still interviewed? I noticed a bunch of wait list posts on the results board back when UMass was notifying - as I said before, the process seemed a bit odd to me. I want to take it as a good sign, but lean toward interpreting it as a paperwork error that put them in an odd position.
Also, one must ask, I suppose...Any accepted to UMass who are leaning toward other offers? Stephen Clingman was really cordial, saying he'd give as clear a picture as possible as things progress, but I suppose it's more telling to ask you guys directly. This wait list is my glimmer of hope so far...
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Again, let us know if you hear from these schools so we can follow suit if you're lucky enough to get some feedback. When I was applying for teaching jobs, this was really common; especially if you were one of the few to make the interview cut, schools were really open to talking to you about it afterward. Sometimes it can be infuriating ("I said that very clearly, weren't you listening??"), BUT it does give you a good idea of what to be SURE you emphasize, what you could have left out, etc. I remember professors giving me advice that (in the job market, at least) it gets you some points to ask, especially if you ever reapply.
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I can't attest to any real insight into this from an admissions perspective, but if you're like me, I think we scholastic types tend to hone in on the weak points of our applications and get down on ourselves for them. My situation is kind of the opposite of yours; I have near 4.0 for undergrad and a 4.0 for a (non-English) MA, high GRES (discounting quantitative) - and yet the non-English thing is the piece on which I constantly fixate as the reason programs rejected me. In truth, I think we're all victims of the numbers game, and in reality the few weak points - undergrad GPA, that one GRE score, etc - are less influential than most think they are. If I were adcomm (how many times those four words have popped into my head recently...), I think I'd care way more about qualitative data (LORs, SOP, writing sample), since those really are what shows whether or not you can handle graduate-level scholarship.
Anyways, a 3.4 isn't a bad GPA. I don't think it would raise major concerns about academic commitment if all those other pieces were top-notch. Also, your MA already attests to your graduate competency. To echo arrivant, your prospective programs will hopefully love you for that.
Positivity, folks...we all need it! And if you find extra, pass it along
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High school English probably...but I'm hoping it doesn't come to that.
I'm there. Hope away - you'll teach what you love to people who don't love it, have no time for any of your own academic pursuits, and not make that much money.
With all those cons, though, the thing that gets me is that I'll be doing the same thing pretty much every year, over and over again. (So...how much of a pro is job security, exactly?)
UConn, anyone?
in Literature, and Rhetoric and Composition
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Yeah, Storrs is in-the-middle-of-effing-nowhere, but the program is pretty enticing.
I'm thinking I'm calling this deal closed, though. I hadn't thought to look at the past boards.
takethiswaltz, do you know if your fellowship was something in addition to the package outlined on their site, or are they one and the same? (To hopefully clarify Isidore's conjectures above.) I think you're our best source of info...