stell4

Not quite the same situation, but maybe this will be a little helpful. I went into teaching for some bizzaro crazy reason after I finished my under grad in chem, not education. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do yet and I guess I figured I'd have a guaranteed job as a high school science teacher. Anyhow, like you I hated public speaking, presentations, and was also quite shy (still shy now, not quite so bad). I am sure it will be different since you will not be with high school kids, although depending on the level you'll be teaching it might not be too far off . I found that once in the classroom with just myself and my students things fell into place. You have to remember that your students are at least, if not more, scared of you than you are of them until they get to know you (or maybe still even after). I think for me it helped to remember that I am in control of the situation and you can really play off that if your a control freak like me! I'd also suggest when you're making your lesson plans (do they call them that for TA'ing?) or class plans to keep them pretty flexible and have a couple possible ideas to go from. And do not forget to keep an open mind too, I've certainly learned a lot from my students..... such as a new inspiration to go back to being a student myself Like the poster above mentioned, do some research on different discussion styles like Socratic seminars, or other protocols. They can also give you a good break by leaving the work up to the students.

I agree that a phone call may be more productive, but if you are going to send the email I would take out the sentence about not being a burden.  I've gotten rid of my habit of being overly deferential to professors and advisors.  They are busy, but so am I, and their time is no more important than mine.
 
"Hello, Dr. X,
 
A few weeks ago we discussed you making a map for me that I need for my thesis.  I was just checking in to see if this was something that you could still provide me with.  I am in the final stages of my thesis, and I need this piece to put the finishing touches on it.  I appreciate your help.
 
Thanks, me."

Well for starters I would want to know if this option is even allowed by both programs. Many either assume or require that you devote you time completely to studies in that program - so, either officially require that as part of what you sign on to when you join the program, or they just fill up your time completely so as not to allow you to do anything else without seriously slacking off on both sides. Assuming this is in principle possible, I would next want to know if anyone is actually doing anything similar or if anyone in recent history has done so, and if so how they pulled it off and how they are doing now. It'd be best if you can find a current student with relevant experience who you can ask all these questions. This should give you a good idea of how you might perform if you try to pull off something similar.

I would first educate yourself on university policy regarding maternity leave, protection for your position, and any anti-discrimination policies.  If you encounter problems, definitely document them.  Stay polite, but firm and consistent.  If you get a hard time, go up the chain.

Oh. That's much harder.  
 
Do you have a sense of who the departmental anti-children hardliners are so that you can start tilting your interactions towards members of the department who might be more receptive to letting their experience with you outweigh their perceptions?  Is there a support group for graduate student parents at your school? Probably some of the mothers there will have some good school-specific advice and resources.
 
There isn't all that much you can do: you'll probably want to keep the news under wraps for as long as possible and hope/expect that your established track record of excellence and continued professionalism will suffice. 
 
And, finally, congratulations!

the four horsemen, of course: jack, jim, jameson, and johnny. equal parts, all together, because apocalyptic levels of bummed-out-itude call for apocalyptic measures.

hi Elise!!! 
 
I am not in grad school yet but I have some tips. I tend to get easily distracted and the more I force myself on doing things, the more I rebel against my own method. So this is what I have learned about my own studying style:
 
* Do not try to work two hours in a row. We people cannot concentrate more than 45 minutes. If you plan anything, plan your breaks but respect them. It is easier to respect your breaks than your working hours, right? Every 45 minutes you should have a 15-minute break. It has enhanced my time-efficiency. Sometimes you are 'inspired' so you can work, for example, 1.5 hours and then have a 30-min break. 
 
* Set objectives that work for YOU. At the beginning I used to say, "OK, from 8 to 10 I read". It backfired. The fact that I was reading did not mean I was actually studying/working. So I started setting off objectives for specific days. For example, today I must finish reading this paper and making notes. Tomorrow I should write three chapters on X topic, by the end of the week I should have Y topic ready for oral presentation. Clear short-term objectives can be very helpful. Remember to be realistic about these.
 
* Plan backwards. This is an excellent technique I learned at work (I am a teacher). Start on your due date and plan backwards. The week before you want your paper almost ready. The week before you should finish the conclusion. The week before that you want section three finished, and so on until you arrive to today. It will help you A LOT. In this sense, it works to have a visual aid such as a monthly/weekly planner at sight. It helps your organise yourself. 
 
* Know yourself, do not just pretend. I used to force myself to work after lunch. IMPOSSIBLE!!!! That is nap time and nothing good can come out with me thinking of sleeping. So after lunch I knew I had one hour to sleep. Glorious. I really slept thus really rested and thus really worked afterwards. Know when is the best time for you. Some people work better at night because it is quieter. Some people prefer to rise with the sun. 
 
* Be busy, especially exercise. You probably know that part of a healthy balance between work and life is exercise. Having busy hours gives you the opportunity to take advantage of your time more efficiently. Allow yourself to do something every day. At least some walking. Go shopping, cook, watch a movie. But also plan these leisure periods so that you take advantage of them. Sometimes it happened to me that I was so worried about working that I did not actually relaxed in my free time, and when I went back to work, I couldn't put two words together. 
 
* If you work, you work. Your working environment should be comfortable. Check the light, the chair, the cleanness, everything. Maybe things around are distracting you. Turn off you mobile phone, you are working. Don't even think of opening Facebook (come on, we are adults, we can do this!). If necessary, turn off your Internet connection and every time you need to find something on line, just note it down and search for it later. Sometimes I get tired of my desk and I have some spots in some cafés that I enjoy a lot. It gives me the chance to get out and also to change perspective (in a way). 
 
I hope it helps!!!

Also for financial reasons, I did part of my my master's while at my parents' house. There is likely no way to avoid completing some studies at home, but I found myself often in coffeehouses and sometimes the library to work, because parents unfortunately interrupted me. Taking out the dog and doing the dishes always had be done right now, lol
 
The advantage of the strategy I did is concentrating on your work elsewhere... and returning to the house to do whatever you need to do, or want to do. Plus, once your tasks for the day are in a good place, or finished, you'll feel more up to doing household chores, and anything else.
 
While you mention getting along with your folks, should that change or become strained during your stay there, I wonder if arriving early, or staying longer, on campus would also do the trick for your sanity/normalcy/clearheadness. Giving your parents space may also be helpful to them to keep sane/normal/clearheaded!
 
Finally, while returning to live with the parents is a more commonly elected choice these years, the decision will probably feel like a regression, a failure -- all with the possibility to erode deeply into your self-esteem. You may feel judged by others, in addition. That in mind: keep your head high, the brain focused, and remember the temporary pain is for the long-term good!

Growing up in Boulder, I had always considered Ft. Collins to be pretty conservative. The town has really come around a lot since I was in high school. Of course it still is more conservative than Boulder (isn't everywhere?). There's a lot of grads who end up staying there after college which helps contribute to a younger population, and all of the amazing things to do outdoors has drawn in a lot more. Maybe not the most exciting nightlife scene, but there's always Denver.

You should transfer to a PhD Chemistry program....

I've never been this stressed out in my life, we have so many projects/papers/proposals/presentations to do from the 3 classes we're required to take in our first year, along with teaching/grading/prepping, attending weekly departmental and divisional seminars (analytical, physical, biochemistry divisions), research plan planning, fellowships and grants searching, abstract writing, research manuscript writing, all in one semester

It's okay though because I have Jesus by my side.

Why would you tell anyone this anyway?

It is a patriarchal society. And there is no "bandwagon". Evidence overwhelmingly proves male dominance in all aspects of society (except homemaking lololololo!!!!)

These "feminists" that make you ashamed to be a feminist (I should probably reverse those quotation marks) are the ones that are fighting for a woman's right not to be harassed without being labeled a "slut" or "asking for it".

Again, you're hearing this gentleman's side of the story yet you're immediately willing to jump in the fray and blame the woman. I'm not making any judgement calls either way: he could be right or she could be right but, clearly, your bias is showing.

ETA: I apologise to the OP. I didn't mean to hijack your thread. My $0.02: people will talk and that's the way of the world, but if you behave as if you believe what happened happened (ie. your version of the story), then it'll become a nonissue. Not much else you can do about it... if you go around protesting and trying to get people not to talk about well... that won't look very good.

and in regards to "feminists," I'm talking about women who will do and say anything to justify their position of victimization in a -- so they want to emphasize -- "patriarchal society". so they jump on the bandwagon when cases like this leak, as they get to suspect a man for being oh-so-evil! they tend to disregard the fact that men 1) have their unique feelings and insecurities and 2) women can make up stories precisely to take advantage of a "victim" position. these "feminists" make me ashamed to be one myself.

What is this supposed to mean?

You don't even know the full story yet you're willing to blame this on "feminists"? Disgusting. You're what's wrong with rape culture.

I'm so sorry to hear about this! I think this story shows how our society (especially self-righteous "feminists") is so willing to villainize men to the point that men are dehumanized. i really think men have feelings equally as women do.

i don't know what to tell you except to keep insisting on your innocence and tell them that you'd be in jail, instead of in academia, had you really been guilty?

I fully support you if you want to quit. I'm in a grad program right now for job training, and I hate how much work there is and that I don't have enough time to do all the things I want to do. And what's worse is that I can't talk to anyone about - everyone tells you to jsut stick with it.

Here's the thing - grad school's not as bad for me, but college was. I loved high school because it was fun, but I hated college so much, yet everyone you talked to said to suck it up or stick it out. Well, that's what I did, and I still regret it to this day. I am different person because of my college experience, I still have horrible flashbacks to my miserable time, and I will never have the life I used to have before college. I would give anything in the world to go back and drop out,

All I want to do in my life now is be a quitting validator, to help other people quit when they don't like something. So if you aren't enjoying your experience and don't think it will lead you where you want to be, I encourage you to quit. I would have given anything in the world for someone to accept when I said I wanted to quit college, because I meant it. I hope you take this as validation and at least leave quitting on the table as an option.

I don't think you know what vivisection means.

Or rather, I think you're using the popularized and sensationalized definition, rather than the proper one.

Even what is described in your link isn't really vivisection, as its not really for pathological or physiological purposes.

And I'd have to see what the IRB approved relative to what they did to know how IRB approval impacted their work. But since all we have is a highly sensationalized editorial on the issue rather than facts of what happened, it's hard to comment.

Do you have any first hand experience with animal experimentation? Know people that do it? Or are you using such wonderful sources as PETA for the basis of your opinion...

And you can't, literally, order animals from catalogs like microscopes or pens. You don't have to have prove adequate facilities for other lab equipment, nor receive external approval for each experiment you run.

I too found that teaching high school science was less about super cool lessons and labs, and really more about how to manage 120+ people, manage frustrations with broken technology, and staying on top of a vast amount of paperwork: grading, supply orders, Learning Support documentation, grading, reimbursement forms, the Inbox, grading, documenting parent contact, recommendations, documenting proof of my continuing ed and required workshops to admin...

I first went into secondary education, somewhat on a whim. I definitely had very different ideas as to what I thought teaching was going to be like and what it actually ended up being. I never finished the program (the school went bankrupt 2 courses short of my masters!), but gained the necessary teaching certificate and taught for 4 years at the high school level. I found that in many ways, teaching is not about all those great things I had imagined it to be: loving my subject, working with students, social justice aspects.... I found so much of my time was spent on acquiring supplies ( I taught chem with no lab, no supplies!), paperwork, "helicopter parents", parents who couldn't care less, administration, huge achievement gaps and little help for students to overcome, teaching to standardized tests... there are still plenty of great thing about it, otherwise I would have never lasted those 4 years. I guess my 2 cents would be that if you're not still excited about teaching after getting a glimpse at its not so glamorous side, then it will likely only get worse for you. The teachers that I knew who were great teachers and in it for 5+ years are EXTREMELY passionate about what they do. I think your reasoning for going into something else aside from teaching is sound and that an admissions committee could see this as a learning/growth experience for you with explanation in your SOP. Also, I think that the teaching experience differs significantly from state to state, so my experiences may not necessarily translate.Good luck on whatever you decide.

I've only got your post to judge your situation by, and there aren't really any details, just assertions. Based on how you are approaching this I'd hate to be in your program and being judged by you--I suspect I wouldn't meet your criteria for sufferance. Your peers may have different priorities than you: are they selfish because they don't give freely of their time, or are they engaging in effective time management? Are they arrogant, or confident based on prior life experiences that allow them to assert an idea from a perspective unlike your own? It's hard to say without details, and I'd argue the answer largely depends on your point of view. Rather than focus on others' negatives, I try to focus on what I like about my experience and minimize my interactions with the activities and people I find unpleasant. No use getting upset about something I can't control and behavior I can't modify. Besides, it's only a year or two more if you're in a master's, right?

I am currently working a full time job and doing research at the same time to improve my profile, and I'm working on applications. It's not easy, and it sucks up 90% of my time. That's the point though, I want the end result badly enough that I'm willing to deal with it.

The are a hundred and one reasons that you'll be able to come up with why you can't do what you want, why it's hard, etc. There's also a solution for each one of them. Too much sitting? Incorporate exercise into your day, on your breaks. Lack of attention? You can find an expert who can help you figure out if it's an actual condition or lack of motivation.

What do you mean chance has passed you by?? You're never too old to do anything. There are people on this forum who are in their 40's and going back to school to change career paths and do what they want. You are 25. You've got decades ahead of you. A few years worth of hard work are definitely worth living the rest of you life doing something fulfilling.

You're seriously all over the place. Label me a jerk if you want, but I think your problems are not appropriate for this site. I don't think anyone on here can help you. This will be a 100 page thread that just keeps going in circles. I don't think any of us have the time for that. I'm not saying you don't pose legitimate questions and concerns about your own well being. I'm just saying I don't think GradCafe is the place for it.

Isn't not having anything to be passionate about pretty much the definition of depression? Also, if you read the original poster's above comment, it screams depression. Do you want sugar coat or do you want people to be real? "I'm sure you have more important things on your plate" [than to respond to my post] and "I am sad, more sad at night" don't sound like depression to you?

There's always the military.

Suck it up.