sociologo

TakeruK, I kinda love you right now. Thanks for thinking of the brilliant scholars and teachers who are shut out of academia because of financial reasons. As a grad student and a mom, I would love to see grad programs offer (a) paid parental leave and (b ) quality subsidized campus infant and childcare. Pretty much what staff and faculty get. I think those two moves would make grad school much more accessible for grad students with families. Heck, I'd be happy if grad students could utilize FMLA, which yes, is unpaid, but provides security and continuation of benefits. At my program at least, there is no institutionalized leave program for students who get sick themselves or have to care for a family member (child, partner, sibling, or parent). 

As someone who has had experience in both STEM and the Humanities, you're buying wholesale into a pernicious myth. The skill sets are different; there is no "greater learning curve", one discipline is not "less skilled" than another. It was not somehow easier for me to master Latin than it was for me to understand differential equations.

Also, we need to stop talking about having children as an individual choice or sacrifice. Sure, it is, but the wellbeing of children is also a collective community concern. We pay for subsidized preschool, public education, and Pell Grants through our taxes, even if we don't have kids, because of the belief that our society will be better off if our next generation is an educated one. We also pay for free meals at school and health care for children through taxes because of the belief that society will be better off if our next generation has been fed and cared for. The children today become the voters, doctors, teachers, social workers, and politicians of tomorrow, so yes, we should all care about the wellbeing of children. And sometimes that means supporting parents. Like I said before, no one is actually arguing for an increased stipend for parents. But I would love to see heavily subsidized childcare and better paid family leave. And that family leave should be for everyone, because it's disgusting that a grad student can get diagnosed with cancer and not continue to receive her stipend or her benefits. Or that a grad student caring for a sick parent can't take time off without hurting his time-to-degree. But most importantly, we grad students should be supporting each other, fighting for each other's needs and concerns because administrations sure won't.

PhD positions in other countries are treated and regulated like industry jobs - thats the way it should be in the US, that is all I am arguing for. People should get paid parental leave (yes, male and female, raising a child dual responsibility), and vacations. While its a choice to go to graduate school, it is also somewhat ridiculous that the opportunity cost is so much. 

I don't think judging other people's reproductive choices is a good life decision.

I'm so glad I'm not 19 anymore.
It is so hard to understand how you over-analyze and overthink and have extremely hazy views about the behaviors of those whom you "love."

This isn't love.
He isn't interested in you.
And this specific action sounds narcissistic and rude (Or could indicate that).
You do not (and no one does) deserve to be treated disrespectfully.

You will empower yourself and feel stronger and more desirable (and will be) if you just cut off all communication with him and "walk away."

Also, consider this a huge huge HUGE bump of the post with the advice about "chronological first" vs. "real-love first."
Your "real" first in this sense will be so much better, and you'll both laugh and cry about your chrono first. Hopefully with a loving, caring, and committed partner at your side.

When I was a bit younger than you, I had a similar "relationship" with a guy, who I was basically in love with, and I found out he had a bet going with his friends about whether he could de-virginize me.
Fortunately I found out before it ever got there.

While you're this young, stay away from age gaps of more than a few years. Those who are jerks are also more clever with age. It's a dangerous game and not worth it, especially when you're an emotionally-attuned person.

Rewatching all of The L Word. Loooooove it. Haaaate it. 

Not-So-Obvious Teaching Assistant Advice
 
There is so much good advice on this thread.   If you do not have a clear purpose or endpoint of your destination than every road sign is irrelevant.  There has to be a practical use that informs information.  Information does not inform itself.  We do it. So here is some advice that might help you find which advice is best for you.
 
For whom it my be worth, here is some advice that I've culled over the years as a graduate teaching assistant in the humanites. 
 
1. top of the list.  Have some clear vision of what kind of graduate teaching assistant you want to be.  Do you want to be liked by your students? Do you want to be engaging? Do you want to enlighten students? Do you want to be seen as authoritative? Do you want to just survive through as you focus more on reserach? If you are fortunate to have had amazing teachers as role models, what qualities do you want to incorporate into the vision you have of yourself as a teacher? Do you want to be loose and free, or does being more reserved work better for you? Do you want to have empathy for where students are in their intellectual journey or do you want to be able to teach to all students?
 
2. Have a clear vision of the kind of classroom environment you want to create (depends on subject area, sometimes).  Do you want more structure and "professional" enviroment? Or do you prefer something more informal?  What works best for your content area?  Do you want an active class, asking questions, engaged and speaking, or a class that is more focused and recpetive (not necessarily a bad thing for certain topic areas).
 
3. Have some clear vision of your ideal student.  Are they enaged? Do they laugh at your jokes? Are they comfortable sharing in class? Can they ask questions without fear of judgment? Does the ideal student respect others opinions in class?
 
4. Take action to make these visions a reality by working backwards from the vision: "If I want a more engaging classroom, what actions can I take to contribute to this?" "If I want to be respected by students, what actions can I take to make this a reality?" How should I relate to students if I want to contribute to creating an ideal student? etc...
 
Keeping in mind that you cannot ultimately control how students respond to you, if they like you, respect you, etc...but you can nonetheless be comitted and focused on achiveing your vision of becoming the teacher you want to be (if you have a clear idea if what that looks like for you). 

My campus has a center for women that deals with gender and sexual harassment (and race, sexual orientation, etc. etc. etc. They're great.) type issues without getting administration involved unless necessary, as well as a group that deals specifically with college-related rape and sexual harassment. Although I haven't been in a similar situation, my first instinct would be to go to people like that and tell them about your concerns. Like your department head and chair, they may not actually end up doing anything but you never know when feedback you receive will be helpful. This last point is why I liked TakeruK's suggestion to go to the counseling center.
 
With how prevalent rape is, especially involving college students, it seems like this might always be somewhat of a concern though, right? Obviously it's a little bit different when there's a well-known accused rapist is in the room but just as always, treating the topic with a little extra sensitivity knowing how likely it is someone in the classroom has been affected by sexual violence might be the only thing you do do other than avoiding the topic completely. I have a hard time advocating for avoiding the subject or even minimizing the conversation because it's an important topic and if there's a specific group that needs to have conversations about gender and gender related violence, college students are definitely that group.

I'm not super familiar with clinical psych programs, but I would echo mb712 posted. While in the sociology program, you will need to be really conscious of your long-term goals in clinical psych. There's a lot of diversity within sociology programs - will you be able to take classes related to your research interests (social psych, soc of education, marriage/family, etc)? Is there a psychology grad program at that university - could you take some of your electives in that department? Are there faculty who would work with you to take a social psych approach? You will need to focus on selling yourself to clinical psych programs, so think about that when taking classes, picking a thesis topic, which conferences you present at, etc. I do think knowing that you want to go into a clinical psych program following your MA will work to your benefit because you can be thinking about these things as soon as you enter. 
 
One downside I see is that you are probably going to get a very different theoretical background in a sociology program vs. a clinical psych program, as well as maybe missing some of the neuro/bio classes that clinical psych programs sometimes require. This may result in needing to take extra classes when you first enter the clinical psych program in order to "catch up." Granted, I think most people have to repeat these sort of foundational classes if they attend a different PhD program than where they did their MA - even if they stay within the same field. 
 
From the little bit you typed about the psych MA program you're considering, it really doesn't sound worth it. You have a low chance of being funded and also can't really take the psych classes? PhD programs are going to look at what your prior degree is in, but they're also going to look at your prior graduate training re: specific training and your thesis topic, any RA/TA experience you have. I think you'd be way better off going to the funded soc program if you think you can spin it effectively for your future goals. Also, if you're funded, that may alleviate some financial stress so that you'd have time to volunteer in a research lab. 

I always find these threads to be an exercise in obscurity.  
 
FLEETWOOD mofo MAC!!!!!!
 
 
 
(and Run the Jewels 2   )

At best your post is a collection of over generalizations about love and relationships.
At worst, your statements about what constitutes "desperate" behavior reflect a poor grasp of the OP's comments in this thread, the OP herself, and what others have already said.

Okay, I have to say that there's more you can do than watch how much water you use and vote. Other things to consider include what you eat (meat vs. vegetables but also which vegetables), how much food you waste (if any), what you do with excess water (like from waiting for shower water to get hot, or from the rinse cycle of the washer), and your electricity consumption. There's more, obviously, but all of those affect how much water is being used. Food waste is actually a huge water waster (I can link to studies if people doubt this) and power generation requires a lot of water generally speaking.
 
That said, I'm not saying any of this to stop someone from accepting an offer in California. There are environmental problems everywhere that, as a country, we will be forced to tackle in the next decade or two. Perhaps living in these places even temporarily can make people more willing to identify solutions that require sacrifice from everyone, not just a select few.

I think these distinctions aren't that important but, I also work in an interdisciplinary field. Which is to say that I am a social scientist who works along with natural scientists all the time, in addition to folks in the "soft" and "hard" social sciences. Getting into debates about the value of these different fields is a timesuck unworthy of your time.
 
That said, there are real academic battles between the natural and social sciences, in no small part because universities, legislators, and governors are privileging the former over the latter when it comes to resources and funding. These battles do matter for departments and thus ultimately for undergraduate and graduate students. 

I too also met Kareem Abdul Jamal.  
 
An ex was good friends with the Def Tones.  I also knew them from around town.  Cake, too.  I knew Nick and Rayzen from !!!, but I don't think they are too popular of a band to count.  The same ex was also friends with Green Day.  Mr. Bungle used to play around Sacramento quite often.  I've met Mike Patton numerous times but it was not until years later when I realized he was the same Mike Patton from Faith No More. 
 
I met Del and most of the Hieroglyphics crew long before he was famous.  I also knew Sean (Slug) of Atmosphere.  Speaking of Minneapolis, I also know all of the Doom Tree guys (and gal).  
 
I have also met El P.  
 
I've met David Saderis and George Carlin when I worked at a theater in Boston.  
 
Name a professional skateboarder from Nor Cal and I most likely either skateboarded with them or partied with them. 

I guess I will add more... I went to Sasquatch music festival in 2011 and met Foster the People. At the festival I made friends with someone from Spokane who was a huge Bright Eyes fan like myself, so on my drive back to Canada I stopped in his city for a Bright Eyes show and Conor Oberst crowd surfed over top of me. I helped push him along, but if I could meet anyone it would be him. 
 
I met up with this friend a year or two later in Portland to watch Desaparecidos, one of Conor Oberst's side projects. There was an after party and I met Denver Dalley and Ian McElroy from the band. Denver Dalley and I made friends and we followed one another on instagram. Ian McElroy and I goofed off quite a bit and took lots of pictures, but he kept telling me he was Conor's cousin and I did not believe him. After my trip, my bf, who is also a Bright Eyes and Desaparecidos fan, told me that Ian is actually Conor's cousin. 
 
Needless to say, no one will care about this post unless they also are crazed Bright Eyes fans. 

Sorry, Starbuck, that you feel you had a negative experience.
 
However, for any future applicants, I'm a third year in UTK's program with a lot of positive things to say about the department. If you'd ever like to ask more about our program, don't hesitate to pm me! 

So I wasn't the one asked, but have a few crock Indian recipes.  I actually chuck them in there the night before, pop the crock in the fridge overnight, and then put it on in the morning.  I don't care for Thai much, so can't help on that score!  (I don't like coconut which pretty much kills Thai.)  On all these I disregard the directions other than ingredients (I do play with those as well) and just chuck it all in raw.  I DO however freeze tofu as soon as I buy it and defrost it as needed.  It really does alter the texture quite a lot.
 
http://www.yummly.com/recipe/external/Tofu-Keema-Allrecipes 
 
http://www.budgetbytes.com/2013/12/curried-chickpeas-spinach/
 
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/potato-pea-curry-recipe0.html
 
Not Indian, but pretty cheap, easy and a hit with my whole family which includes several carnivores....
 
http://www.veganmotherhubbard.com/2013/04/crock-pot-tofu-and-veggies.html I don't use mushrooms as I'm allergic and sub in whatever I have handy.
 
Hope someone enjoys at least one of them!

Sorry, Starbuck, that you feel you had a negative experience.
 
However, for any future applicants, I'm a third year in UTK's program with a lot of positive things to say about the department. If you'd ever like to ask more about our program, don't hesitate to pm me! 

The first year is really intense. My advice? Just enjoy your summer people!!!!!!

From the way this thread went. I would say that UT - Knoxville dodged a bullet with this one...

Sorry, Starbuck, that you feel you had a negative experience.
 
However, for any future applicants, I'm a third year in UTK's program with a lot of positive things to say about the department. If you'd ever like to ask more about our program, don't hesitate to pm me! 

Sorry, Starbuck, that you feel you had a negative experience.
 
However, for any future applicants, I'm a third year in UTK's program with a lot of positive things to say about the department. If you'd ever like to ask more about our program, don't hesitate to pm me! 

Starbuck, it may be wise to be a little more careful about some of the things said here. Academia, especially within sociology is a small world. Some of the things you've said here are really offensive and petty. In fact, I think I'd really consider asking the mods to delete this if I were you. 

Just to clarify a few things to people who are interested in the program--
 
I will be attending Tennessee in the fall as an MA student and I was at the recruitment event. There were about 15 of us there and word had gotten out that three or so were unable to make it because of the weather, so 18(?) invited in total. For reference purposes, the department's cohorts seem to range between 6-10 people a year. The faculty and graduate students did everything they could have done, in my opinion, to make us feel at home. It was a recruitment event, so of course faculty made it seem as if we were all really wanted. At the event, I was never told "it was a given" that I'd be admitted. The closest any of the faculty came to saying that was something like, "we really like your application, think you'd be a good fit and you're high on our list." Things along those lines, I can't remember exact quotes. 
 
Something else to consider is that we were told from the beginning that department wouldn't be able to fund everyone's entire visit. In fact, $300, from my knowledge, is much more than many (if not all?) other prospective students received. 
 
Finally, the students unable to make it elected for a Skype interview or something. Even if they didn't, plenty of programs admit students without meeting them or even contacting them first. So it's not a big deal that students who didn't show up were admitted. That's just the way admissions work. 
 
I feel the department has done nothing unprofessional. I think their current students will vouch for the faculty if any prospective students are concerned about anything presented in this silly thread. 

I am surprised by my inability to manage my time. I'm halfway through my program. You would have thought I'd have figured it out by now.