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Found 8 results

  1. Can you guys please read my personal statement and tell me how it is or what you would change. Upenn MCIT personal statement.docx
  2. Is anyone out there able to give feedback on practice GRE essays? I would be happy to do the same for them!!
  3. Hello everyone! I'm in the process of applying for a Graduate program which requests I submit a Statement of Purpose. This is my first time doing one so I would really appreciate any advice on how to make mine better before I submit it. If you are up for reading what I have so far please send me a PM and I'll send you a PDF of it (unless you want a .word or .Page file instead). The program I'm applying for is Aging and Neuroscience so if you happen to have any advanced education in either topic then I would especially appreciate your advice! I look forward to your help, and I appreciated you taking the time to look it over.
  4. Hello everyone, Just some quick background. Long story short, I went to college for undergrad full time up until my first semester senior year. Due to personal reasons, I left to take a 2 year break. I went back in Fall 2017 to finish up my requirements and graduated in December. I am planing to apply to graduate school in the next 1-2 years. The school that I am definitely interested in requires a writing sample that is 15-20 pages long from undergraduate work. I have a sample that meets the length requirement. However, it was written about 3 years ago and my writing has evolved since then. I don't have any other recent samples (the final classes that I took were in French and Math). So, I would like to edit the paper that I do have. I was considering reaching out to students in the English department at my local hometown college for assistance in editing my writing sample to make it application ready. Since it is a lengthy paper, I figured that I would likely need to pay said editor for their help. I am not a current student, So I am not eligible to use my alma mater's writing center. Has anybody ever gone this route before? Does anyone have other suggestions for help with getting my paper edited? Does anyone know what a fair price might be for someone to edit a 20 page (about 6,000 words) paper for graduate school admissions? Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!
  5. Hi there! Im looking for someone to look over my essays I've written during a practice GRE test. Any help would be great! Thanks! ISSUE TASK Technology, while apparently aimed to simplify our lives, only makes our lives more complicated. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position. Countries today strive to be the most technologically advanced societies in world history. However, an increased amount of technology brings forth an increased amount of complications. Although technology can streamline some activies, the high learning curve it poses on some devices and the crime it facilitates ultimatley causes humans to have a more complicated life. Technology creates an extreme learning curve that modern day humans are expected to keep up with. For example, learning how to type on a computer is much more difficult than writing with a pen on a piece of paper; the types of software, such as Microsoft Word, have to be learned. Understanding this software encompasses many things that are not necessary for pen and paper - how to copy and paste, how to highlight text, and how to change fonts and colors are just a few actions that Word requires the user to know in order to use it to full capacity. As technology improves, it facilitates increasingly complicated crimes and harrasment. Cyber stalking and bullying has made it difficult to find the culprit of such crimes. International terrorism and human traffickers have also been known to utilize the dark web to plan their attacks or put up captured people for sale. People are therefor utilizing the complicated outlets of modern technology for their means of wrongdoing, making it more difficult for enforcers to keep up with modern technologically advanced criminals. Although technology can complicate human lives, technology can also increase the productivity of certain tasks, which in turn simplifies them. For example rather than using an oven to heat up a pizza, which may take thirty minutes, microwaves can do the same thing in less than thirty seconds. Additionally, cell phones have made it much simpler to get into contact with a person in comparison to writing a letter; one can just dial a number rather than writing what they want to say, sending it through the mail, and waiting for it to be received. Overall technology streamlines many every day activites, cutting down on the most complicated steps. Technology can decrease the amount of steps in every day processes, however it also requires a steep learning curve which can be difficult to overcome. Technology also provides a hidden space for criminals to commit heinouse acts, making it difficult for law enforcers to find the culprit. Therefore, technological advancements developing today all over the world do not simplify human lives, but instead make them more complicated. ARGUMENT TASK SuperCorp recently moved its headquarters to Corporateville. The recent surge in the number of homeowners in Corporateville proves that Corporateville is a superior place to live than Middlesburg, the home of SuperCorp's current headquarters. Moreover, Middleburg is a predominately urban area and according to an employee survey, SuperCorp has determined that its workers prefer to live in an area that is not urban. Finally, Corporateville has lower taxes than Middlesburg, making it not only a safer place to work but also a cheaper one. Therefore, Supercorp clearly made the best decision. Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on the assumptions and what the implications are if the assumptions prove unwarranted. The argument that Corporateville is superior to Middlesburg is flawed for various reasons including the use of a vague survey that lacks statistical and descriptive detail, and assuming that lower taxes creates a safer and cheaper lifestyle. In order to improve the argument, additional clarification should be added to each of these points; statistics on the survey, the type of area Corporateville is, details on overall living costs in Corporateville, and linking factors between safety and lower taxes should be added. The argument uses an employee survey stating that employees do not prefer to live in the urban area of Middlesburg. However, there are no statistics provided backing the results of the survey, making it impossible to know if a true representation of all of the employees were used. Additionally, the argument does not state anything about the type of area Corporateville is; for all the reader knows it may also be an urban area similar to Middlesburg. The argument should therefore provide statistics to back up it's claims about the survey, as well as clarify what type of area Corporateville is - Urban, suburban, country, ect. The argument assumes that the lower taxes of Corporateville make it a safer place to live. Lower taxes may not have any relationship to to the safety of a city; for example Middlesburg may have higher taxes because it is trying to improve its infrastructure, which could actually make it a nicer city than Corporateville. In order to draw a relationship between taxes and safety, the argument needs to state some linking factor between the two, such as Middlesburg must pay more for state attorneys to defend all of their criminals. The argument also assumes that lower taxes in Corporateville make it cheaper to live there. Although taxes play a large part in the cost of living there are many other factors that contribute to how much a person pays to live in a certain area. Even if the taxes are low, the houses available for sale or the cost of groceries may be very expensive. To clarify the cost of living, the argument should provide a more detailed description of the housing and food costs of Corporateville. The argument presented is flawed because it does not provide enough detail on the survey it describes and it assumes a link between lower taxes, safety, and cheaper living. By providing more information on each of these points, the argument will be much stronger in its statement that SuperCorp made the right decision in moving it's headquarters from Middlesburg to Corporateville.
  6. Hi All !!! I am new here, so apologies in advance if I am not posting/formating this correctly. In any event, below are the first two GRE essays I have ever written, 1 Issue and 1 Argument. I would GREATLY appreciate any insight, suggestions, critics and comments --- before I continue to practice. I want to make sure I am heading in the right direction with these essays. And if you are of a mind to give me a "score" I wouldn't mind. Critic away -- I can take it! Thanks! ISSUE TASK: Technology, while apparently aimed to simplify our lives, only makes our lives more complicated. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position. A few taps of our thumbs, and we can be instantly connected to someone thousands of miles away. In just a few clicks, we can pay the rent, schedule a physical and still have time for lunch. These simple examples are just some of the ways in which advancements in technology have certainly simiplified our lives in ways unimaginable just a decade ago. There are infinite ways in which technology has made life easier, but communication and the ease of daily tasks seem to be two of the most positive. The ways to communicate with technology are numberous: email, instant messaging and "calling" apps such as Facetime, Google Hangouts, and Whats App, to name a few. These programs have shortened the distances between people around the world, making commincation with friends, family and even complete strangers just a click away. As little as twenty years ago, such connections were unthinkable. For example, a student on a gap-year, traveling through more remote parts of the world, would have to find an Internet cafe - almost a quaint idea now! - or a phone to relay to their family and friends that all was OK. Nowadays, a traveler can be in the middle of a desert, and manage to not only pick up a wifi signal and call a loved one, but actually show them their surroundings. What is even more amazing is that these options are not limited to developing countries, which can often be the case with new technologies, but are ubiquitous in developing countries as well. For example, in places like India, more people have cell phones than clean running water. It's mind-boggling, when you really think about how quickly these advancements have been thrust upon us. The daily tasks of life are another huge convenience that technology has offered the world. Everything from online calendars to scheduling a doctors appointment to paying bills are today considered the norm for most people. This saves countless time calling or traveling to various offices to conduct these transactions in person. However, technology's helping hand isn't all flowers and sunshine. There are several drawbacks to the ease these services, one of which is the disconnect in humanity. While humans use technology to quickly and easily connect with those they know, it has also created an environment in which we no longer communicate with those we don't. Walk into any cafe or university student center, and you will see individuals, and even groups of people, sitting together, heads bent over cell phones or laptops, immune to the world around them. In the past, these people would at the very least smile a "hello" to one another, and (gasp) even exchange some common pleasantries. While it's true that technology allows us to often communicate with strangers online, it doesn't encourage our communication with strangers in person. As such, technology certainly seems to have created a world in which we live together, yet apart. Another drawback to technological advancements seems to be the loss of certain skills. While calculators have been around a long time, their increased use has raised questions about young people's inability to do even the simpliest of math in their heads. The advent of the Internet has compounded this issue, making searches for algebra solutions just one click away. This environment has created a "quick fix" society, in which people have become accustomed to getting answers at a rapid pace. As a result, the formerly natural process of working through a process, and letting our brain flex a bit, seems to be wanning. In summary, their is no doubt that technology has made life around the world easier. However, we as a society must be aware the negatives of this simiplification and work together to hold on to some core values of humanity. ARGUMENT TASK: SuperCorp recently moved its headquarters to Corporateville. The recent surge in the number of homeowners in Corporateville proves that Corporateville is a superior place to live than Middlesburg, the home of SuperCorp's current headquarters. Moreover, Middleburg is a predominately urban area and according to an employee survey, SuperCorp has determined that its workers prefer to live in an area that is not urban. Finally, Corporateville has lower taxes than Middlesburg, making it not only a safer place to work but also a cheaper one. Therefore, Supercorp clearly made the best decision. Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on the assumptions and what the implications are if the assumptions prove unwarranted. Supercorp's claim that its decision to move the location of it's headquarters was "the best" decision is fraught with inconsistencies. Firstly, Supercorp states that a survey of its employees indicated a preference to not live in an urban area. However, there are several unknown compenents to this information. For example, what is the average age of Supercorp's employees and/or the average age of those who answered the survery. Does the average age skew towards older people or to those who are married and/or have children? If so, then this population usually prefers a less urban area, as they are more likely to enjoy a community better suited to family life or quiet. In contrast, those who are younger, single, and childless may prefer an urban area, which usually offers more nightlife, restaurants, and other activities that this age group tends to seek out. Secondly, Supercorp mentions that a recent surge in the number of homeowers in Corporatville indicates a superiority to Middlesburg. Yet, it doesn't indicate if the increase in home purchases was made by its own employees or non-employees. As such, there is no way to know if the new homeowners did so because they actually work for Supercorp, and wanted to live closer to work, or if that increase is merely a coincidence. If the majority of those new homeowners do not actually work for Supercorp, then this reference offers no support to the company's statement. Thirdly, Supercorp mentioned that the lower taxes of Corporateville made it a safer and cheaper place to work than Middleburg, a statement which is flawed in many ways. A community which has lower taxes impacts people who live there, not people who merely work there. So, if an employee doesn't actually live in the same city as their company's headquarters, they don't directly benefit from that city's lower taxes. In addition, a city with lower taxes doesn't automatically equal a safer community. In fact, it could suggest a community populated by lower-income individuals and families, which statistically often suggests more crime, violence and instability in general. So, Supercorp's claim of lower taxes in Corporateville, as currently stated, may actually contrast its claim of safety. In conclusion, Supercorp must conduct more research on the above mentioned issues, and provide those findings in detail, before it can solidly stand behind these assertations.
  7. Hello, I am looking for constructive criticism on how I can improve my essay. I have had several drafts in the past, but after meeting up with one of my references and showing her my essay I had to completely revamp it. She commented I should talk more about my accomplishments. This has to be at maximum two pages long, and I am applying to masters programs in speech language pathology. My grammar is not the best, and I really do not have to many people who can assist me with editing my essay. I appreciate any advice, and critique. I hope that it will not be too harsh, previously when I submitted my essay online for others to review, I had received such harsh criticisms that I actually cried. So hopefully that wont happen this time! ------------------------------------------------------------------ I can vividly remember the speech therapy I received as a child. I can remember my difficulty in pronouncing difficult sounds like s, th, and z. The therapy sessions involved games focusing on pronouncing the speech sounds that were difficult for me, oral reading activities, as well as prizes for meeting my speech goals. My fond memories of my own speech therapy are one of the reasons why I want to be a speech-language pathologist. My own experiences with speech therapy and my fond memories of the therapy sessions has shown me that the field has an ability to radically change lives. The opportunity to return the favor to children of future generations is my goal. When I first became interested in the field of serving children as a speech-language pathologist, I was motivated to overcome my inexperience in working with young children. I can remember my first day volunteering with the typical developing preschool children, I was more scared of them than they were of me! After several weeks of volunteering, the children were fighting over for my attention! Through that experience I was able to become more comfortable and more effective at interacting with children. Through this volunteering experience I was able to apply what I had learned in the classroom, and I believe I will also be able to apply these lessons learned from volunteering to my graduate studies and the field. In addition, I was able to learn valuable skills through the application of research. I worked with Dr.XXX and Dr.XXX on a Systematic Review and Meta Analysis on how language disorders are defined and diagnosed. I was also able to assist several PHD students in both the Education department and the Communication Science and Disorders department. I aided by transcribing video segments, forming codebooks, scoring tests, and serving as reliability in the student’s dissertations. Through the Systematic Review and Meta Analysis, I acquired basic essential skills and knowledge in research. These research experiences further piqued my interest in improving services provided to children. I know XXX has research at the graduate level and I plan on being actively involved. I am attracted to XXX's graduate program in Communication Science and Disorders due the ranging experiences I can gain from working with a variety of children with various communication problems. These experiences will further enhance the quality of services I will provide to children. I once observed at the clinic and as I watched other students work, I could just imagine myself one day being on the other side of the glass, implementing various therapy techniques to help clients meet their goals. I will be also be completing my graduate studies a year early. These credentials demonstrate that I am a hardworking, proactive student who will be successful in your program. I appreciate considerations on my application and I look forward to challenges in my academic and career path. I would love to continue my education at XXX and remain a Knight (fyi this is the schools mascot)!
  8. I am applying to history PhD programs for Fall 2012. I am not getting much advice on the SOP. Is there anyone with experience who could look over my first draft? Thank you.
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