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Found 8 results

  1. Hey all! I've been really struggling with editing the discussion of my Master's thesis (in biology) that is unfortunately quite redundant at times. I have never found editing to be so draining before and I was wondering if any of you all on here had tips on how to edit a piece of your own writing for redundancy to help streamline and condense the writing overall? At times I really struggle with seeing why the way I have written something needs to be fixed since the way I wrote it still makes sense to me in my head. Reading my writing aloud helps a lot but it doesn't always help me catch stuff. My advisor and partner help me a lot in improving something I have written but their comments can only go so far since it is ultimately up to me to make the changes. I've also not ever struggled so much with redundancy before but this discussion is a style of writing that I don't have as much practice with. Overall, I just struggle with being concise and getting to the point with the fewest words in the most logical order so that the writing doesn't go too long. Any tips on how to work on these things or how to make the editing process in general not quite so draining?
  2. Tamim Ahmed

    TOEFL Writing Sample

    Hello, I am planning to appear TOEFL exam very soon. I need help to evaluate my assay and what score I will get on TOEFL exam. It would be a great help if someone go through my writing sample and suggest necessary correction. Question: Some parents forbid young children from owning smart phones (cell phones with Internet access), while others disagree and believe that they are important tools for keeping in touch. Which point of view do you think is better, and why? My answer: Smart phones are very important to keep up with the modern life. Having a smart phone from a very young age helps a student to easily access the information of the world in a very short time. So, I think having a smart phone at a young age is very important for development of a student. The most important benefits of having a smart phones is that helps a student in education. Moreover, if a student gets stuck in a paritcular topic which one needs to go through many books to find an answer, in that case, using a smart phone one can search by just typing something in smart phones using search engines like Google, Yahoo etc. Additionally, students can download any books, articles etc. in the easiest way. Modern technology is advancing rapidly day by day. To keep up with the modern standards, students need to be introduced with the modern technology. Because, previously before internet, people used different letters, telegrams for communication, but nowadays one can communicate just by using different social networks like Facebook, Imo, Snapchat, Skype etc. Maybe, after 50 years, technology will find a better way for communication. For entertainment, nowadays, people used different sites like Youtube, Dailymotion etc. Now people don't rely on a particular program to be telecast on TV. Moreover, student can communicate through email, chat etc. when they are in bus, subways etc., they don't need to go to their home, turn on computer for communication, therefore, saves time. Although having a smart phone is useful, but in some cases, student misuses it. Some students go to different adult sites which demerits their characters. Also, some students pass so many times with their phones and hampers their education. So, having a smart phone is useful as long as students use to the limit and for the improvements of their life. Smart phones are one of the most benevolent tools for a student. In fact, in modern world, smart phones are must. Because, world is changing day by day. One person having the smart phones helps oneself to better acquainted with the modern world. Students are the future and therefore, at a young age having a smart phones helps themselves to be developed easily and cope up with the modern world.
  3. Hi, everyone: Just wondering if there are any good resources online or elsewhere for someone to figure out what they're even qualified to do. I ask because I've reached burnout with adjuncting. I've got two terminal degrees with honors from good universities (not that that matters outside of academia) and 8 years experience in higher ed with a couple of years in government (doing human rights advocacy) and church. Because I haven't published a book yet and I don't have a PhD, I haven't had much luck finding a secure teaching job with a sustainable wage, and because I'm not ordained (yet--though I'd like to change that), I haven't had much luck finding a church positions. My plan for now is to move closer to home (I came far from family for my MFA) and work on seeing if I'm priest material/hopefully doing some chaplain-ing, but until then I need to figure out what sorts of jobs I'm eligible for that would pay the bills. My educational and professional backgrounds are in English/writing, religion/ministry and LGBTQ+ interests. Lots of teaching, lots of proofreading/editing/publishing, and ministry/activism. I used LinkedIn, Glassdoor, Indeed and various others but have not found them to be super helpful, but whether that's the platform or because my skills are not in high demand is another question. I went to the career center and spoke with a career advisor at both my master's programs' respected universities but did not find a great deal of specifics, though I received good "you're worth something and you can do it" pep talks. All ideas welcome and appreciated. Thanks in advance.
  4. GreenEyedTrombonist

    Advice on Editing MA Report

    So 1 of my programs asks for the entire MA thesis while another asks for the abstract and one or more chapters. I was planning to use my dissertation as the basis of all my writing samples, but two of the samples require much shorter lengths. One requires 15-20 pages and the other "no more than 30." My MA report is 154 pages (including references and appendices; probably ~100 pages of actual report content) at 1.5x spacing. Any ideas on how to reduce it down? Should I include a link to the full report as part of my submission? The report sections are: Abstract Introduction Contextual Information Research Design and Methodology Findings and Insights (longest section at 34 pages) Deliverable Design and Presentation Reflections
  5. Hallo! Currently working on a draft of my statement for Cambridge's Mphil in Health, Medicine, and Society. Does anyone want to look over it? The limit is ~600 words, so I'm struggling with cutting out fluff and including information that would make me an appealing candidate (they sadly don't look at CVs!). It's meant to be framed as a research proposal, so that is what I'm aiming for. I'd be happy to edits others' statements as well
  6. Chaunceyismyrealname

    Might I ask for folks to edit GRE essays (two)?

    I'm new here, but I've posted a couple practice essays I wrote for the GRE issue/argument section. I would love it if someone would be willing to edit and/or let me know what I can improve on. My test is on October, 18! Thanks a lot!! 2 practice essays Day 2.docx
  7. Hey guys this is my Personal statement to HKUST your thoughts and input Are much appreciated. Thanks Matt Bradley I have always been immersed in the world of business. From watching my uncles buy an ownership stake in a multi-million dollar excavation company to store tours with my father, a highly regarded district manager for Dollerama. I am surrounded by inspiration from my family and the people around me. It is now my turn to advance to university and continue a family legacy of business. Immediately following high school I had an idea that I wanted to progress into business but was to immature to turn my dreams into a reality. Although inexperienced and under qualified I applied for a management level position at Frito Lay Canada. During the final part of the interview I was asked why I should be hired. I replied “ I know I’m young and under qualified, but I also know that I can do this job and I’m just asking you to give me the opportunity to prove it to you.” I am now one of the youngest full time sales representatives in Canada. I have sold a variety of over 150 products in more than 50 cities and towns throughout Saskatchewan. I have experience in areas such as short term sales forecasting, marketing, inventory and auditing procedures as well as the ordering and sales of product, all of these aspects while creating and maintaining relationships with customers. Over the last year and a half I have had the unique opportunity to both mentally and socially mature in an innovative and expanding market. I now strongly believe the business world is where I belong. I know that with the skills I have acquired as well as the ones I will obtain through attendance of this prestigious school will propel me to the top of the business ladder, ultimately accomplishing my goal of leading a successful business. What really sets me apart is more than just high quality business experience. I bring an honest, hard working character along with a unique and friendly personality. I am quick learning, eager to accomplish and know that I will make a difference. These traits combined with the hunger for knowledge and the passion for business make me a great choice to help represent the student body at HKUST. With attendance of HKUST I will be able to blossom and shine in an environment filled with some of the worlds top business prospects. I am overjoyed to be able to continue my education, as I look forward to continuing a family tradition of excellence in business.
  8. Hello all! I am in the brainstorming stage of my SOP and have a couple of (possibly silly) initial questions. First, I am applying toRhet./Comp programs, but my research interests are heavily influenced by my concentration in Political Science as well as my study of rhetoric (majored in both). Is it okay to go into some detail on the Political Science front? My concern is that readers will doubt my commitment to English programs. Second, thinking of my writing samples, my best written work to date does not speak directly to the area of interest I am stating in my SOP (though they are in the rhet. field). Would it be advisable to develop a new, more focused sample or just work on editing what I already completed? Thank you!
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