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I'm not sure if any of you listen to Fleet Foxes. They're my go-to shower singalong music, though my boyfriend calls it "weird monk music." He listens to rap. Artistic differences, I guess. Anyway, their music really hits me sometimes whether comforting or not. I have a playlist on my laptop of music that I find grounding, and it includes songs like "I Can Feel a Hot One" and some others by Manchester Orchestra, a large amount of Fleet Foxes, a taste or two of both Ingrid Michaelson and Sara Bareilles, and the like. I play that playlist when I study or do homework, or whenever I just need to get my sh*t together and calm down. I was not accepted into the program at WMU. I found out on Friday by way of a letter that my dad read before me because it wasn't sealed. I can't say I'm surprised at this decision-- I had a feeling the day I returned home from Interview Weekend that there wouldn't be a place for me there. I respect this decision, because I don't think I was who they were looking for. I can't handle the constant party that their department seems to encourage. Being told that the current students go out drinking multiple times a week together is not something that I'm itching to be part of. As I whine about not wanting to party, I'm soaking in the fact that I'll be moving to Chicago in six months. I have an acceptance in hand from Roosevelt and an interview lined up with Elmhurst as well as campus visits to both next week. That's right: Chicago! I held Roosevelt up as my top choice, and now it's becoming real. I need to find somewhere to live. I know very little about living in Chicago, and I'll need all the help I can get. My family knows people all over the country and world, but somehow we don't know anyone in Chicago (well, I know a couple people my age there, but no one who could save me if I ran into trouble). I'm lurking on the City Guide thread for Chicago and all the rental sites I can find. I know Roosevelt has very easy access to all the train lines because it's right by the loop. They include a CTA Ventra U-Pass in tuition, though I don't actually understand how it works. My limited experience in Chicago has always been great. I'm really excited to be living and going to school there, but there are so many issues I now face. Being rejected from WMU has set the ball rolling to the Windy City. Now begins a new journey filled with big decisions-- will my SO be able to move with me? Will I be working at the university or elsewhere? Where will I live? Will I get enough funding from the university to avoid major debt? Where before I was comfortable in the excitement of not knowing, I'm now very uncomfortable in the excitement of decision-making. Here we go. Headphones in, chin up.

On this past Thursday, I came home with a plan to nap. Spoiler: I did not nap. I checked my email, and found one from the director of the IO MA program at Roosevelt University, informing me that I had been accepted into the program. He had forwarded his decision to the Office of Admissions, and wanted to tell me now because they have someone new in Admissions and it may take a bit for the University's materials to get to me. I yelled for my boyfriend, who came running because he thought I was hurt (whoops, sorry) and after I told him the news and that I was uninjured (if a bit lightheaded), we called my parents. Their reactions were so typical-- my dad in the background saying "see, I've always told you how smart you are" and my mother going right for, well, a more shallow topic involving appearances. So, this is really cool. My first acceptance! I'm not a complete failure/ idiot/ garbage person! RU's program is bigger than WMU according to SIOP with an average of 25 students to WMU's 7. Granted, RU has more faculty and internships to accompany research positions, so the higher number makes sense. The program director, in our emails since Thursday, has expressed that they are excited about the possibility of having me in their program. I know that's why anyone would be accepted in the first place and isn't unique to me, but it makes me feel pretty good. He also called me a "colleague," which was weird but cool. I still feel like a kid sometimes with this, and I keep forgetting that a lot of these people see me as a real person with value and purpose. What? Nah. There are a few faculty members who research things I'm interested in, but I only have some limited contact with one who I know through my advisor at my current school. Turns out that they worked together in the late seventies and early eighties, so I did my best to reach out to this professor not long before sending in my application materials. Again, I've exchanged only a few emails with him and the most recent email from him reminded me about the competitive nature of their assistantships. I found that a little odd, but I believe it was well-intended. If I understand the meaning of "POI" correctly, then I have none anywhere and didn't know it was even a thing. So, that's probably not helping me, but I can't yet tell if it's hurting anything. When I told my mom the news, one of her first questions was if I'm going to decline my interview at WMU. This shows again how unfamiliar my family is with the entire process. The funding decisions won't be made by RU's IO department until the middle of Feb, and the University itself makes separate scholarship and funding decisions mid-March. I'm not going to risk anything by removing myself from WMU's applicant pool. The theme of this blog (and my life) is that I don't know what I'm doing, so I'm not about to make any cocky decisions. Speaking of that interview, it's coming up quickly. I'll leave home on Thursday morning, drive the whole day with one or both of my parents, and arrive in Kzoo early evening. I'll have time to pack tomorrow, though I still have no clue what I'm going to pack. (Why are all of my adult-y, nice clothes mainly black?) The events are scheduled in tightly over the weekend, and I'm in the dark about how it works. How many other people are being interviewed? Who am I up against? Who pays for my meals while I'm there? Will my host have me in a bed or on a couch? When will the decision be made, and what of funding? Will I like the people and the campus? Will they like me? I know toddlers have a reputation for asking endless questions, but I'm pretty sure I could ask more right now. WMU: Interviewing this coming weekend RU: Accepted, funding TBD Elmhurst: ???? And as always, let me know if you have any thoughts or questions. My next entry may not be until after the interview unless something happens. In the meantime, I hope everyone has a good week going forward, and good luck.