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Found 8 results

  1. I'm not sure where the right place to ask this is, so please let me know if I've come to the wrong place. I'm working on my Master's degree and, after a year of indecisiveness and trying to get things figured out, I feel like I'm falling behind. Unless I really get my act together, it's likely my degree will take me an extra year, and I'm not sure I'll still be funded throughout. Taking longer to graduate would also be a problem for me relationship-wise: my boyfriend and I are long-distance while I'm going to school. He's completed his Master's as of this summer at another institution, and he's looking for work. The original plan was for him to get a job in the same city as me and we could live together during my last year of grad school. But now that's he's looking for a job, it seems like all the good offers are in his home city, and it's looking more and more like he will be staying there. Additionally, I was elected the President of my department's student group about a month ago. I like what's I'm doing with the student association, it's all about improving the culture in my department. However, it's also a source of stress as people criticize me no matter what decision I make, and it takes up a good chunk of time, which makes it even more likely that I won't graduate on time. The last time I talked about taking a trip to visit my boyfriend, the past president of the student group told me, “You're not going to be able to do that anymore”. I'm not really sure if that's true, but it scared me. If he gets a job in the same city as me, all my problems are solved. But I can't count on that. I don't want to do another year of long distance, much less two :( . We're very serious and have been talking about getting married someday. Do I quit the student group? Do I quit grad school? Do I suffer through two years long distance? Is there a way I can be super effective about time management and graduate in one year? Any tips?
  2. I've been accepted to my top choice school with funding. This program is on the opposite side of the country from where I currently live and is fairly rural. My SO and I have been together for few years (and been friends for much longer) but have never been long distance in our relationship. The location of the program, being rural does not have many job opportunities. My SO just completed their grad program and is looking for new jobs and opportunities. They will move as close as possible but it will likely they will still be that they will live numerous hours away. I'm apprehensive about maintaining our relationship with some significant distance while also beginning a PhD and dealing with the distance (?) it can create in a relationship. My SO is very supportive of my decision and we'd like to make things work. Does anyone with some similar experience have any advice for maintaining a long-distance relationship through grad school?
  3. I'm only a month into grad school, and my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me. I feel awful. How did / do you deal with relationships / breakups during grad school? Did it affect your work?
  4. Hi Everyone, So I haven't been officially accepted yet but I have recently completed a group interview at Silberman School of Social Work for their Two Year MSW program and I think it went very well. I am excited because I really wanted to get into this school due to its low tuition cost and because I feel the program is right for me. That being said, now that I have a very real possibility of getting into this program I am starting to become very stressed out about what I will do if I actually get in. I ALMOST regret applying this year!! So, my conundrum is that it is a full-time program (no part time option available) and according to the staff you go to class for two days (5 classes total I think) and attend your assigned field practicum for 3 days a week. Total taking up 5 days a week. I don't know quite what the actual hours are like for class and practicum, just that I will be doing something school related Mon-Fri. However, the practicum is unpaid! So, I am really stressing out about how to work while I am in school and the prospect of having to give up my job (I work 40 hours a week 12pm to 8pm at a homeless shelter). I thought about doing overnight, late-night, and weekends. I am trying to avoid overnight work or work that is TOO late because I really do not want to burn out and would like to be able to focus on learning and avoid mindlessly grinding through this period of life. I would have a long commute as well. That being said, I have nothing inherently against going to school full-time and not working in general. Ideally, I would like to give my education a lot of attention. In undergrad I did not work (although I had multiple time consuming internships). I don't feel comfortable not working this time around however because I desperately want to be more independent. I am in my mid twenties and still live with my parents, I also lived with them through undergrad and commuted to school. I am also afraid of taking on too much because I am in a serious committed relationship that I have obligations to as well. My boyfriend is very eager to move in together but I can't afford it right now and if I can't work or must work/make less then I will really have to post-pone moving out (I am afraid this will cause problems in my relationship which is more stress for me). Similarly, I feel like not having a job is a step-backwards for me because I went so long without having my own money and largely relying on others even for basic things. In addition, I don't anticipate having quite as much help this time around either so I really need money to support myself even if I stay living with my parents. Anyway, I realize a lot of this is very much my subjective wants and worries but I want to be honest about my concerns and learn from all of you. Right now, I am considering finding a job that I can work from home or one that is just on the weekends but I guess I might really need to stay at my parents house.. I really don't want to though and am desperate for a change of pace/scenery. Like, I really want to live a different life than I did in undergrad. I know mid-twenties is not THAT old and honestly I know more than a dozen other people who still live with their families because the ny-metro area is just expensive like that but yeah... I honestly would've considered saving up more money and post-pone graduate studies instead of applying when I did so I can at least focus on moving out and stuff.. however it is very difficult to find a well paying job in my desired field and my end-game of becoming a clinical social worker is not possible without the masters/licensure so I can't really make much more money or achieve my goals without trucking on with my edu. I know working and going to school is very possible depending on your program/field of study, financial situation / amount of support, and many other things. My boyfriend doesn't make that much (more than me) but will not be able to support me through school (I know some people do that). I just would like any insight or advice anyone would have for me in this particular situation. Also, if anyone has any real experience with completing this program then please share! Thank you!
  5. Hello gradcafe! Im having a difficult time deciding what my next step is. So, I was accepted to an MA program in English. I have a great advisor, total financial support, and the opportunity to do paid research. The program has a great track record for placement in top twenty phd programs. For the summer, I moved to a city to be nearer to my significant other (SO) and to enjoy urban life before heading to a more remote part of the country for my MA. It's been amazing! I'm working in the creative industry and our love has really been growing. Since being here I've questioned whether or not grad school is right for me now. It's been scary but also exciting to spread my wings a bit and find professional opportunities here. I've been thinking about dropping the school thing for now and trying to pursue creative endeavors (my other passion aside from studying literature) like writing while I'm young. Of course my SO also plays a role in my decision. She said she'd consider doing long distance (I'm a short plane ride away) when I proposed it. But is generally cool on the idea. She'd like me to stay on in aforementioned city. I could spend two weekends out of each month with her, as well as j terms and the summer if we did long distance. But I'm afraid that we'd grow distant. Its scary to consider staying on here in the city because I currently have no immediate job prospects and even if I did it would likely not be one of my passions as it certainly won't be a) academics or b ) in writing. But I feel as though it would be an interesting ride and grad school is always there, though this amazing MA opportunity isn't. If I did the MA, I'd stand a better chance at getting back to the city as a PhD candidate. But on the other hand, I could apply to PhD programs here in this city this fall to start next year and turn my back on the MA. I hadn't finished my thesis when I didn't get into PhD programs last year and I now have high school teaching under my belt, which might look good to PhD or Masters programs in this city. In fact, I initially planned to do this MA to up my chances of getting to attend a PhD program in this city--before meeting my SO! So on the one hand, a sure spot and income come fall doing something I love but with an unsure future with my SO and lots of hand wringing at "what could have been" not just re SO but also at what kind of career I might have built for myself (safe route) and on the other an exciting young adulthood in an exciting city with my SO for the foreseeable future but still possibly regretting not taking my place this fall at grad school (risky route). And I have to decide within the week!! Has anyone made a similar decision? D
  6. Anyone else have a possible break-up coming depending upon where you get into/choose for grad school? I've been in my relationship for over a year and am in this position. I'm wondering how many other people have this situation, and the conversations about the situation, looming as well. After all, misery loves company.
  7. So I'm new to the forums, but would like some insights from other grads. I just got an offer from PSU for their dual-title History/Women's Studies program. I am really excited about it and planning to accept the offer, but I'm nervous about what will happen with my boyfriend and I. He is doing a master's at a university in the Rockies (where we're both from) and plans to work at a specific lab in Denver once he is finished. I am hoping to get a job in the Denver-area after grad school, but in the meantime I'm not sure how we'll cope with the distance. We've been together for four years and did semi-long-distance during college (he was in WY, I was in CO), which I suppose makes us decently equipped to handle it. We are both committed to staying together so a "break" or break-up is not on the table. I just hate the idea of waiting 5-6 more years to start our life together. So my question is: does anyone have any tips on how to do a long-distance relationship during grad school (or anything to avoid)? I would appreciate any advice/insight from folks who have experience with this. Thanks!
  8. Hello folks, Happy holidays! I am just wondering if anyone has any experience with mentoring through Big Brothers Big Sisters or another organization. That is something I would like to pursue. I enjoy learning about people (in this case, children and adolescents), spending time with them, and lending support to promote their growth. Indeed, building relationships with students and colleagues, nurturing growth (of the intellectual and professional kind, usually) is one of the primary reasons I've sought a career in academia. Mentoring a child/teenager is simply consistent with this goal. I'm specifically concerned about the qualifications needed to be effective. I'd like to believe that I have skills/resources/etc. that could be an asset to another human being and to the community at large, but there are plenty of people who would say otherwise. As much as I'm motivated to forge bonds with other people and extend support, I was never the brightest in class or easy to look at, and I didn't come from a wealthy family or go to elite schools. I also have a history of a stigmatized illness, and I'm anxious this may show up on my application. But it's possible that my mentee just wouldn't care about that. I guess I have this impression that Big Brothers and Sisters are model citizens--effortlessly perfect. But that can't be true, or is it? What would qualify one to be a "role model" short of perfection, whatever that means? The website for BBBS says that mentors are regular people, and that the only real qualification is a desire to positively impact a young person. I would like to believe that! In any case, if any of you would like to share your thoughts or anecdotes, I would love to hear what you think. Thanks very much, and all the best!
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