Search the Community

Hi there! I could really use some input on two practice essays I recently wrote, one for the argument and one for the issue prompts. If anyone has 20 minutes to spare, it would be a huge help! Feel free to be as critical as needed, any help is appreciated! Thanks! GRE Practice Essays.docx

Hello everyone! I'm in the process of applying for a Graduate program which requests I submit a Statement of Purpose. This is my first time doing one so I would really appreciate any advice on how to make mine better before I submit it. If you are up for reading what I have so far please send me a PM and I'll send you a PDF of it (unless you want a .word or .Page file instead). The program I'm applying for is Aging and Neuroscience so if you happen to have any advanced education in either topic then I would especially appreciate your advice! I look forward to your help, and I appreciated you taking the time to look it over.

Hello, may I have some help with having my practice essays reviewed? Thank you for your availability and help. ISSUE People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position. Human beings are very complex creatures, reacting and responding in a myriad of ways to our surroundings, thoughts, emotions, and others. Although, humans have an astounding ability to adapt, physically, emotionally and mentally. This allows humans to behave in such a manner that is not entirely subject to forces not of their own making. Firstly, there is a mind-bending lens called perspective. Perspective is one of the abstract advantages that humans over any other species. One of the characteristics about perspective that allows us to overcome external forces is that it is largely conceived in the mind. The things that are seen are not always as they wholly are. If all behavioral judgement is founded on what people see, we miss the profound elements of the human experience. Much of the potency that external forces carry, find their strength in the human mind. For instance, if I had a negative experience with dogs all throughout my childhood, I could grow up thinking all dogs are vicious – unless I came to understand that dogs are used to aid the blind. Furthermore, this point gives credence to the power of choice. Attitude, a sister of behavior, is a choice. Because of this, people have another arm to battle external forces with. The power to choose behavior is what drives the focus of military officials and soldiers through moments of extreme distress, and fuels their humility in serving their beloved country when these soldiers are viewed as heroes. The human mind is a powerful component of human being that can channel external forces for its own advantage. Although, this is not to say that environments and upbringing do not play some role in a person’s behavior. A child may very well take on the behavior of a father or mother in moments of much stress or joy. These complex, influential relationships in the home are the birthplace of phrases like “a chip off of the old block”. The yet-present weakness of this position although is that the child may move to a college education later on in life and adopt many different habits and perspectives. The issue at hand remains that our behavior does not have to largely be determined by forces not of our own making. While external forces are a part of the human experience, our brains are constantly responding to them, the human’s behavior does not have to be subject to them because of the power of perspective and choice. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ARGUMENT The following appeared in a memo from a budget planner for the city of Grandview. "Our citizens are well aware of the fact that while the Grandview Symphony Orchestra was struggling to succeed, our city government promised annual funding to help support its programs. Last year, however, private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent, and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled. The symphony has also announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. Such developments indicate that the symphony can now succeed without funding from city government and we can eliminate that expense from next year's budget. Therefore, we recommend that the city of Grandview eliminate its funding for the Grandview Symphony from next year's budget. By doing so, we can prevent a city budget deficit without threatening the success of the symphony." Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation. The recommendation presented in the budget planner for the City of Grandview possesses some assumptions that deem it questionable. To begin with, there is a claim made that the citizens are aware of the want the Grandview Symphony Orchestra is suffering in its success. These terms of success are not defined. What does make for a successful Grandview Symphony Orchestra? Is there a lack of ticket sales? Involvement? Promotion? These are vital questions to ask, in order to determine what the city deems as a successful Orchestra. The orchestra may be very popular amongst student musicians, but have its position in a conference center next to a basketball arena. Likewise, the recommendation assumes that having attendance doubled at the concerts-in-the-park series, is a weighty factor for an increase in popularity. This too, can be considered fallacious because the higher attendance may have been due to the fact that the concert was providing free food. Many of the local students may have joined the orchestra as well. It is difficult to justly conclude that there would be a rise in lasting popularity for the orchestra. Lastly, to remove government spending because of an influx in private contributions is a weak force in the argument as well. In the last year, private contributions may be defined as the soup can-sized container next to the ticket window. In a whole year, contributions could barely exceed $200. If the government provided the orchestra with $20,000 while the private contributions hit a ceiling of $600, a 200% increase. Then, this would still only leave a proportion of 100:3, the government being a very vital contributor over the private contributions. The orchestra may very well need to raise the prices of their tickets, to hold larger events and have more support. While the recommendation does strive to present some knowledge to support it’s argument, the judgment is not wise. There are assumptions made out of ambiguity in the citizen’s awareness, private contributions, and doubled attendance at the concert.

Hey all, I'm starting to draft my statement of purpose and was wondering if any of you had any advice about the general structure of how the statement should look. It'd be great to hear any other advice as to what you believe the the essential aspects of a successful statement are Applying to sociology PhD programs and a couple of MA programs in theology, but would be happy to hear advice from those outside of these disiciplines as well. Thanks in advance!

hi, I'm preparing for GRE to apply to study abroad. Can anyone here help me by grading my essays? Please let me know if you can help and i will send you my essay. PS: I'm new and not native English speaker. Thanks in advance. I appreciate the help.

Hey guys, I just found this forum, and I have to say it is really great that there is something like this. I was wondering if somebody would be willing to review my SOP? I am currently applying for various PHD programs in Information Systems. I am German, and I could redo the favor or help you with other stuff, just let me know! Thank you very much in advance best regards

Hey all, Anyone willing to review the first draft of my SoP? I will send you a message of my SOP text. This for Masters in Human Computer Interaction and Design. Cheers,

Hey all, Anyone willing to review the first draft of one of my SoPs? I can offer an exchange and/or virtual brownies. This is for a Communication PhD program.

Hi, I’m a Dutch computer science major. Over the last couple of months, I have been developing my statement of purposes for the universities which I will be applying to. I'm finally at a point where I feel confident enough about my SOPs that I am willing to share it with people outside my family and references. My transcript and GRE scores aren’t anywhere near what I had hope so a solid SOP is really important. My average is a 7.6 on a 10-point scale which translate to roughly a 3.4 – 3.6 GPA. My GRE is V:155, Q:163 and W:4.5. For my letter of recommendations, I have found the following references: 1. Associate Professor whom I will be assisting in research starting next month. He gave the project I did during his course last year a 10. 2. Lecturer of the courses “Computer Architecture” and “Information Security”, I received good grades in both. He is not a professor but he is well known for his course on C++. 3. Associate Professor in machine learning. He is well known for his work in Vector Quantization. Did part of his MS. at the University of Washington. I am mostly interested in the research areas of CS Theory and AI/ML. Ideally, I would like to combine them both. I will be applying to the Ph.D. or MS. program at UCB, UW, GATech, UCSB, Toronto and Montreal. If all my applications would be unsuccessful I will probably continue with a master’s degree at my current university in the Netherlands. This is a top 100 school with a solid machine learning track, since I am guaranteed to be accepted here I decided to aim high. I’m looking for as much feedback on my SOP as possible, but I understand that it might nog be beneficial to post it here directly. I would be very appreciative if I could DM it to some people. Additionally, does anyone know of more platforms that could assist me in getting feedback on my SOP, free or paid? Thank you.

Hey, guys! As a foreign student, I've never had the need to write anything like a statement of purpose. Well, now that I'm applying to Grad School, I just finished mine. I would like to know if there's anyone here willing to take a look at it and give a few comments on how it is. Thanks!

Applicants are asked to provide a 1 - 2 page, double-spaced personal statement which includes the following: Why do you want to undertake graduate work? Why do you qualify to pursue a graduate degree at Virginia Tech? What do you expect to derive from your program of study? If you have a concentration or area of interest in mind, briefly outline your interests in this area. What do you expect to contribute as a student and subsequently as a member of the profession? If you have not previously indicated in your application the names of faculty members you are interested in working with, please include that information in this statement. STATEMENT OF PURPOSE Seeing my father drive, the concept of mobility in machines, shifting gears, accelerating, judgment to take a pass or to turn & all this controlled by a human seemed like magic to me. Since I started driving this fascination grew into a passion. This passion has been responsible for my inclination towards engineering. I have been an automobile fanatic right since my primary schooling days. Shows like Super Cars & Mega Factories gave me motivation. Motivation and passion, in my opinion, have a strong correlation. This correlation led me to pursue undergraduate in Mechanical Engineering. I have completed my undergraduate course in Mechanical Engineering from Manipal University Jaipur, India. My undergraduate course has given me numerous opportunities to learn what I enjoy. However, moving ahead, I desire to study Mechanical Engineering further by undertaking graduate work as it would give me more insight into the field, do something constructive in the field with much better understanding as well as provide me with more career opportunities. During my undergraduate subjects like Mechanical Engineering Sciences, manufacturing processes engineering, Theory of machinery, Internal Combustion Engines, gave me a clearer view of what I wanted to do. I seek to design and engineer something new in a developing segment of mechanical. But sadly there were very few subjects relevant. So whenever & wherever I got any chance to follow my passion, gain more knowledge and practical skills I took it. I chose Automobile Engineering, micro-electro-mechanical-systems (MEMS), Computational Fluid dynamics (CFD), sustainable development & optimization technique as my elective courses even when only as much as 10% students of the department chose to study these subjects. The final year project considered in my undergraduate program was titled “Long Stroke Engine Development” & it gave me the opportunity to be a part of a team to design and develop something new. It was one of the most original, challenging & insightful project & was appreciated with good grades. We developed a 4 Cylinder Vertical In-Line Engine to achieve higher horsepower than all existing engines at MAHINDRA & MAHINDRA. Being the only student selected for project & I needed to have a thorough knowledge of most of the operations and structure of the IC engine. Working toe to toe with experienced Industrial Experts has improved my knowledge & skills in engine assembly, engine testing, time management & teamwork. I have attended several workshops, seminars and internships organized at different institutions which helped in having hands on experience of the various machines that are the backbone of mechanical engineering. Having these valuable experiences have shown me the value of practical exposure. To learn what other institutes offer I joined and completed many MOOC courses like Machine Design from Georgia Institute of Technology & I am currently finishing A Hands-on Introduction to Engineering Simulations from Cornell University using ANSYS Mechanical & ANSYS Fluent. It has increased my knowledge in structural mechanics, fluid dynamics and heat transfer through finite-element analysis, computational fluid dynamics and structural mechanics simulations. I did my summer internship at NBC. This training at undergraduate level has helped me identify the various manufacturing processes, issues underlining each sector of the industry. Apart from the academic learning at the university level, I was elected as member for Student Council of the University by the university students & at the departmental level, I was voted as Class Representative. These two huge designations have given me a sense of commitment and responsibility toward the community of which I am a part of. I had been a part of organizing teams of the annual technical festival, cultural & sports festival of my university. I was campus and hostel committee member of University's joint admission counseling & have worked 210 hours each summer for past three years. These all have helped me in building my organizational skills, management, reasoning skills, team management & problem-solving skills & this helped me overcome my social barrier. These developed skills proved to be the foundation for many other skill developments. I have also worked as customer care executive for two and half months during my summer break of the 3rd year of undergraduate, giving me command over my communication skills and various quick problem resolving skills. My academics declined when I met two life threatening accidents. I had to be away from lectures for months due to prescribed bed rest, progressive surgeries and was dependent on others for attending classes for a substantial period. I had to miss 2 midterm examinations in different semesters resulting in my inferior GPA. Those were massive emotional, physical & mental setbacks for me. I have overcome those now. I have been trying with all what is within my capability & capacity to compensate those setbacks. I got certified in diesel management system and vehicle dynamics from BOSCH, developed a Go-Kart vehicle with a primary objective to design a safe & functional vehicle based on a rigid and torsion –free chassis, I was the design & material coordinator of the team & worked really hard for my project. These have enhanced my skills and knowledge even further. Research is a very important part for the growth and sustenance of both the university and its students. It allows us to give something back to the society in terms of new findings or better solutions to a potential problem. Virginia Tech has pioneered this area. We all know where the power supply for Intel chips was designed. The accomplished research work of department professors like Douglas Nelson, Joseph Meadows fascinates me, and if provided with the opportunity I would like to work under the combined guidance of both of them in investigating CFD &combustion systems application in hybrid vehicles. Also, other factors to be considered for choosing Virginia Tech as my top choice are that the faculty to student ratio is good, the campus looks very institutional and what I have gathered is that the institute is focused on preparing the student for a lifetime of service no matter their academic discipline. With my Master’s degree in place, I would want to pursue a further in-depth research where I can find novel ways and techniques that would help the industry to develop, for this I need to have a thorough knowledge which is possible at your institution. Once I have the field proficiency in the job I wish to make an impact in the field. For me to achieve this, education and experience are the stand up pillars. I can then combine my experience and knowledge to develop a stable & prosperous future. Learning in a well-organized institution in the USA with powerful pedagogical resources, vibrant intellectual environment, and a comprehensive curriculum will be a great step for me to achieve my aims and through working in a community having very large number of international students will give me a chance to interact with people from different & diverse cultures. It would give me a wider perspective of the world. I would be honored if you decide to accept my candidateship for Master studies. At the same time, I am aware of possible challenges and the high investment of efforts which I will have to put in order to successfully complete this course. I am looking forward to new experiences at the university. I am sure that the university will give me chances and challenges which will assist me in my all round personal growth GAURAV SHARMA

Hi, if someone is willing to review my SOP, please let me know. I will PM my SOP. Thanks! (:

If anyone could review my issue and argument essays I would highly appreciate it. It is in a text file. Thank you. Issue Essay.txt Argument Essay.txt

I will PM it to you, anyone with spare time to give a final thought on my SOP please hit me up.

ESSAY ONE PROMPT:The best way to teach is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position. ESSAY 1: In this day and age, there are many different styles of teaching. Some may believe that the best way to teach is to praise only positive actions and ignore the negative ones. This is a style that I do not agree with for several reasons. Although praising positive actions is a great way to teach someone positive actions, ignoring negative actions does not get rid of unwanted actions. Meaning, just because you ignore the negative action, does not mean that the negative action will stop and the student will know what the positive action should be. For example, a child whom is biting his peers on the play ground wont simply stop doing this negative behavior simply because the other child is ignoring this action. In fact, it might cause the child to bite even harder to elicit some sort of response from that other child. In this example the child is not learning that the action of biting another child is a negative action simply by ignoring it. Furthermore, negative actions may be advantageous to point out, as they are prime learning experiences. For example, when tackeling a difficult math problem that you may have gotten incorrect, it is advantageous to look at the correct answer and figure out what you had done wrong, rather than ignorning that problem and moving on to the next one. Therefore from this example you can see that paying attention and discussing negative actions can lead to more positive actions. Lastly, it is possible that when praising only positive actions, this can lead to a negative action on its own that cannot be ignored. For example, while their children are growing, parents try and encourage their child to eat whenever possible and may praise the positive action of eating. However, this can lead the child to want to keep doing this type of action which can lead to a negative action, over eating. Should the parents ignore over eating, this can lead to serious health problems that the child will face later in his or her life. This clearly shows that although praising positive actions can reenforce positive actions, it can also lead to overdoing this positive action, which can lead to a negative action that cannot simply be ignored. All in all, we can clearly see that learning can come in many different styles and types. However, it is disadvantageous to only praise a student for positive actions and ignore negative actions. ESSAY 2 PROMPT: The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station. "Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this period, most of the complaints received from viewers were concerned with our station's coverage of weather and local news. In addition, local businesses that used to advertise during our late-night news program have canceled their advertising contracts with us. Therefore, in order to attract more viewers to our news programs and to avoid losing any further advertising revenues, we should expand our coverage of weather and local news on all our news programs." Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted. ESSAY TWO: The business manager is under the assumption that increasing coverage of the weather and local news will avoid losing any further advertising revenues and increase viewers for several reasons. The manager assumes that because he has increased national news time during the late night news program and decreased weather and local news coverage, this leads to less viewers. It is possible that simply more people don’t enjoy watching late night news, or that they stopped watching the TV at night altogether. If there are people with less TV’s or people that watch less TV during the late night hours, this could account for why there is an overall decreased number of viewers which does not rely on what is being showing on the TV itself. Furthermore, the business manager wants to expand coverage of weather and local news programs because local businesses have cancelled their advertising contract with him. This assumes that the reason why they are cancelling is because they have decreased the show time of weather and local news, which may not be true. It is possible that these businesses have not been thriving like they usually do, and thus must make certain budget cuts within their business model. From this example, we can clearly see that there may be other factors that can cause the business to cancel their advertising not just what the news station is broadcasting. Lastly, the business manager wants to expand the coverage of local news and weather because more viewers have been complaining of less coverage of local news and weather. This assumes that if the station were to increase their coverage of local news and weather that the views would increase and the complaints decrease. It is possible that maybe those complaints came from people who don’t really watch the TV and just enjoy complaning about anything they can. Or it is possible that a rival news station is making these complaints in order to push the manager to make a rash decision. Also, we simply do not have enough information from the viewers to conclude that should they increase local coverage and weather, more viewers would watch. From the examples listed above, we can see that many assumptions have been made that may effect the outcome of the news stations future. Although increasing the coverage of local news and weather may increase the amount of viewers, it might also have the opposite effect as well.

Hello folks, I have put together a statement of purpose for my MBA. I am short on time and wrote this down in a hurry. I have penned it in a different way than usual and hence it would be great to receive some feedback on the same. Let me know if anybody can help me with it. Also, I can review your letters for you. Have uploaded the doc on my drive. Follow the link to read it. You can also comment in the doc itself. Statement of Purpose - https://goo.gl/uz1kAK

Please be kind enough to give you valuable feedback on my attempt. Argument - 1 The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a company that builds shopping malls around the country. "The surface of a section of Route 101, paved just two years ago by Good Intentions Roadways, is now badly cracked with a number of dangerous potholes. In another part of the state, a section of Route 40, paved by Appian Roadways more than four years ago, is still in good condition. In a demonstration of their continuing commitment to quality, Appian Roadways recently purchased state-of-the-art paving machinery and hired a new quality-control manager. Therefore, I recommend hiring Appian Roadways to construct the access roads for all our new shopping malls. I predict that our Appian access roads will not have to be repaired for at least four years." Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation. ============================================================================================================ The argument presented by the vice president has a number of logical flaws. These flaws give birth to numerous questions that have to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation will have the predicted result or not. A major flaw in the vice president's reasoning that raises questions is the flawed comparison between Good Intentions Roadways and Appian Roadways. To begin, the first question that needs to be answered is whether the traffic on Route 101 is similar to Route 40 or not. If, for instance, Route 101 caters to heavy traffic whilst only light traffic is allowed on Route 40, the presence of potholes on Route 101 can be explained. Therefore, it is not necessary that the deterioration of Route 101 is because of poor quality. The superior quality of Appian's work can only be accepted if the routes cater to the same traffic. Even then other circumstances on the two routes may also explain the difference in their conditions. The fact that the two routes are present in different parts of the state begs the question: are the weather conditions similar or different on the two routes? If, for example, the region where Route 101 runs through experiences torrential rainfall whilst the area where Route 40 passes from has a mild climate, the differences in the road conditions can be attributed to weather as well. This means that it is not necessary that the condition of Route 40 is better because of higher quality work by Appian Roadways. The better road condition can be attributed to favourable weather conditions. Therefore, it is imperative that the above question is answered as it can render the basis of the recommendation illogical. In addition to the differences (or similarities) in weather conditions, it is also important to ask if there are any other alternative companies available than Good Intentions and Appian Roadways. The above argument assumes that there are only two companies available in the market. However, it is important to see if other companies can be approached or not and how Appian Roadways fares against them. It can be possible that Appian performs poorly in comparison to other competitors. Another interesting question that needs to be answered is about the credentials of the new quality control manager of Appian Roadways. The argument assumes that the new manager will perform better than the previous manager and therefore improve the quality of work. It could very well be the case that the new manager was hired on the basis of nepotism and not on the basis of performance. As a result, the quality of the work deliviered could deteriorate. Therefore, it weakens the preditiction that the roads will not have to be repaired for four years, thus, weakening the recommendation. The answers to the questions above would provide a better picture of the comparision between Appian Roadways and its competitiors. For the recommendation to be valid, it is important that Appian and its competitors deliver in similar conditions.

Please be kind enough to rate and review my Issue response for GRE essay. Thank you :-) Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position. It is important to keep public attention on social problems to ensure the smooth functioning of a society. Two ways of focusing that attention are scandals and public debates by reformers and speakers. Scandals are usually discarded for dramatizing petty issues, however, therein lies the usefulness of scandals: Scandals capture the attention of the public on problems in such profound ways that may not be possible for most reformers or speakers. Often in public debates the discussions on problems only touch the tip of the iceberg. It may be that the intelligentsia is either not fully aware of the magnitude of the problem or, they do not delve into the details to maintain political correctness. Either way, the reformers and speakers fail to pique the public's interest. On the other hand, scandals have the potential to reveal the depth and the magnitude of the issue in one instant. For instance, the revelations by Edward Snowden regarding mass surveillance carried out by the National Security Agency led to a public outcry against the breach of privacy. Many social activists and critics had been pointing out this issue previously as well, but it never gained as much traction as it did after the Edward Snowden episode. Thus, scandals are useful in grabbing public attention in a way that the intelligentsia can not. In addition to revealing the true depth and magnitude of an issue, scandals can also bring to the fore issue that were not even the part of public debate. Issues such as pedophilia and rape, though prevalent in the society, are not discussed in most Muslim countries. Debate on such issues and their public acceptance is a taboo. In such circumstances reformers and speakers can not discuss these issues in public as the society refuses to lend an ear to them. However, if a scandal about these issues is reported in the media, the public will be to talk about such issues. Hence, scandals prove to be useful in bringing problems to the agenda of public debate. However, some problems are of a nature that can best be addressed by the relentless efforts of speakers and reformers. The Suffrage movement in the late 18th and early 19th century for women's right to vote is a quintessential example of a problem that was solved by persistent efforts of speakers and reformers. Figures such as Eliabeht Caddy Stanton and Alice Paul did not wait for a scandal to break out. They realized the problem, gathered mass support by organizing protests and writing literature, and eventually led to the passage of the 19 Amendment in the constitution of USA that allowed women the right to vote. To sum, scandals are useful, in majority instances at least, because they capture the focus the attention of public on problems in ways that most speakers and reformers may not be able to do.

I'm applying for an internship to study a master's in a U.S. university to specialize in graphics programming and simulation. I'm from Spain, and they rate the SoP from 1 to 8. If I don't get 8 points I get disqualified because of the competitivity and low total number of granted internships. I will share this statement with my professors too but I would really appreciate some help online. Please have a look and tell me if it is boring, or if you honestly like it. The maximum length is 3 pages, so If you find any useless and generic area I will delete it. All criticism is welcomed. I've already been told that my Universities section is weak, that I need to say something special about each one. What do you think about that? Btw, the link in the document is not available yet. Thanks in advance.

Hello all, I am in the same situation as many people, I think. I am applying to a grad program (International Transportation Management) which is far different from my undergrad course of study (Geology) and would like any input, good or bad, about my statement of purpose. I only address my undergrad in passing as it has very little bearing on this field. It is succinct, roughly 600 words but I think it covers all the bases. English is my first language and it has been revised several times. If anyone would mind taking a few minutes to review and comment, your help would be a great help and much appreciated. Please email or message me with any comments. Thanks! statement_of_purpose.docx

Hi, can anyone review my Statement of Purpose?

Hi all, I'm trying to figure out where I need to improve in terms of my writing capabilities. I know there are a lot of people ask for reviews so i thought I would offer to trade services? Anyone interested? Arguemnt task- palean baskets.docx

Please review. All suggestions are welcome. TIA The best way to teach is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position. Response The process of learning continues throughout our lives and in this lifetime there is good amount of time that we spend as subordinates to others and this is the time when someone guides and instructs us. I disagree in part to the mentioned issue that the best way to teach is to applaud positive actions and be ignorant towards the negative ones. As humans we yearn for praise. When we praise someone, there is flow of happy energy and the person being praised feels a sense of satisfaction that what he has done is good and that this behavior will fetch him continued praise. When Parents praise the actions of their young progeny it helps the child develop good sense and habits. In schools when teachers praise one student for a particular action in front of others, everyone else tries to achieve the same feat. This also promotes healthy competition among the students and helps them learn from varied aspects. Negative actions in my opinion need to be pointed out and not simply be ignored. If we don't point out wrong actions than how can presume that the entity committing those actions would on its own realise that the actions in the first place were wrong and try to take measures to correct them. How can then we as observers or relatives get irritated or annoyed when we let such habits get past the embryonic stages. Coming back to the parent argument, our parents or especially mine for that matter bring out my wrongdoings into daylight and instruct me to never repeat them. If Parents start ignoring the wrongdoings of their children, there is an extremely high probability that children would grow up and not realise what is actually good for them and what appears to be superficially good. I'd like to share an example, in my school there used to be intense groupism and people would pick fight with others on petty issues, confrontation results which ultimately concludes in one of the two parties getting injured. All of this used to happen outside the school gate and in full view of the teachers who would be leaving, but none of them cared enough to look into the matter. Fearless of the teachers, the students started taking them for granted and their mischief continued. One day of the stricter teachers called a few boys in private and reasoned with them and explained to them the harm their actions did to them as well as their peers and juniors. That day marked a sudden change in the attitude of those boys which was evident from a stark decrease in the amount of confrontations. This step on the part of the teacher was extremely commendable. What I am trying to convey should not be confused with curbing the freedom of an individual, but what I merely try to highlight and put forth is that just keep a check when someone crosses the line. The line may have different and varied definitions for each one of us but certain actions that warrant a strong response need not and should not be waved off nonchalantly or ignored. Shaping a person character is important more of this responsibility is on the Guide or the teacher and as someone with such a huge responsibility it is needed to be tender but strict at the same time. The statement by the author may have good intentions but leaves gaps and when followed to the point can create troubles.

Hi all, I'm trying to figure out where I need to improve in terms of my writing capabilities. I know there are a lot of people ask for reviews so i thought I would offer to trade services? Anyone interested?

Argument :- Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean. Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument. My Essay :- Primarily the argument is based on the unwarranted assumption that no paleans could have crossed the Brim river by boat as there were no Palean boats found. This assumption is unwarranted as the paleans could have used other boat types apart from palean boats to move across the Brim River. Firstly the idea that woven baskets of distinctive pattern were made only by palean just because they were found in the immediate vicinity of the village has no proper basis. It could be that several other villages also produced woven baskets and they sold or traded it to people living in the immediate vicinity of Palea. This does not necessarily make the Palean baskets uniquely Palean. Had the statement mentioned that, the palean baskets were made by a particular material which is only available in the immediate vicinity of the village, it could be a supportive statement to the Baskets being unique to Palea. Also the statement mentions that there were no boats found that belonged to the paleans, and a conclusion was derived that no paleans had crossed the Brim River. For the Paleans to cross the Brim River it is not necessary for the Paleans to have a palean boat. They could have other boats that they must have used to cross the river. Also just because no palean boats were found in Lithos does not necessarily mean that no Palean baskets were given/shared with the people in Lithos. It could be that the Palean baskets were given for a price or traded for another item and then the Palean people left Lithos after the exchange. Another Possible scenario is that the Palean people could have forgotten some of their baskets before they returned home. If there had been a mention of Palean people having no other sources of getting a boat or they had not mingled with the people could make it possible that the Palean baskets were unique to Palea. Even then ambiguity still exists in the fact that people from lithos could come to Palea and buy the Palean baskets. This shows us that conclusions cannot be made from theory that doesn’t provide evidence to a particular fact. There could be several other possibilities that also needs to be justified.