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If you Don't get accepted


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Hi.  This message is for everyone who has the sinking feeling that they won't be getting accepted this season.

I don't know you.  I wouldn't be able to pick you out of a crowd, and we've never met.  But by the fact that you're here, I know that you're driven, and you're not afraid of change and sacrifice in your life.  So know this: It will be okay.  You will get through this.  Your value as a scholar, student, or just a human being has nothing to do with you not getting an acceptance.  Maybe it wasn't the right program, or the right year, or a good fit, or something else entirely.  That's okay!  There's next year, if you want.  Or, if you're out, you will have an awesome career and life, simply because you are driven, and you aren't afraid of change. 

I heard a fable (if you're a historian, maybe you know the truth of this?) there was once a king who was prone to high-highs, and low-lows.  It made his kingdom erratic  He sent for his advisors and said, "I need something to even me out.  I can't rule like this; either extreme is bad.  Help."

The advisors went away and deliberated for weeks.  Finally, they returned to the king and presented him with a metal ring, unadorned, that simply said, "This too shall pass."  And from that day, whenever he was too up or too down, he'd look down at his ring and remember...this moment is fleeting.

 

You're a pretty awesome human.  If you want to comment and tell me how you're feeling down, I will be happy to tell you all the reasons that I, a stranger, think you're awesome.  I imagine others will tell you too!

 

This too shall pass.

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On 2/28/2018 at 10:19 PM, Maya584 said:

I really needed this have had a really bad day today (unrelated to applications) but just reading these words calmed me down! Thanks a ton!

No problem!  I'm sure your Thursday was amazing.  And if it wasn't, Friday will be, because - you know - Friday! :-)

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On 2/28/2018 at 10:32 PM, DippinDot said:

Thank you, you're so sweet. You and all the people on this wonderful forum are truly what's helping me get through these tough times. I wish you the best of luck on your journey too! 

You have the most awesome screen name ever.  My favorite Dippin' Dots flavor was always mint chocolate. :)  And for whatever it's worth, I took 11 years off between my BA and starting my MA, and I don't regret it at all.  I worked a completely unrelated job and kind of figured out who I was.  I feel way more prepared now for graduate work than I was at age 20.  So no matter what way you go, I'm sure it'll be awesome and amazing.

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3 hours ago, LauraVZ said:

Thank you so much for this

You're welcome.  You're amazing because you're so brave.  You want to move to a whole new country to follow your dream.  I had the opportunity to do that years ago, and I just couldn't.  I see you were accepted to Iowa? Is that the same as the Iowa Creative Workshop?  If so, I'm even more impressed by you!  I feel like whenever I see a famous, articulate, inspiring author, they're always an Iowa graduate.  I don't know if it's your first choice, but I wish I knew Spanish just so I could read what you write!

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@E-P Thank you! I was surprised this username was open haha. :) ooo mint chocolate is great. My favorite is birthday cake! 
And thank you for sharing your experience! It's nice to hear that people have been able to live their life/do other interesting things and still come back to school. I definitely hear you about being more prepared. I was talking to a grad student in my current lab that also took several years off between her undergrad and grad career. She said the same thing about feeling more prepared and experienced. Thanks so much for all your encouraging and reassuring words!!
 

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14 hours ago, E-P said:

You're welcome.  You're amazing because you're so brave.  You want to move to a whole new country to follow your dream.  I had the opportunity to do that years ago, and I just couldn't.  I see you were accepted to Iowa? Is that the same as the Iowa Creative Workshop?  If so, I'm even more impressed by you!  I feel like whenever I see a famous, articulate, inspiring author, they're always an Iowa graduate.  I don't know if it's your first choice, but I wish I knew Spanish just so I could read what you write!

Yes! After only getting bad news for a while I got accepted in Iowa for the Creative Writings MFA in Spanish. I think it is not the same as the Creative Workshop, but it is also very known and lots of good Latin American and Spanish young writers I have read are Iowa graduates. It is not my first choice, but for now it looks like it is the only one I have (a very good one). My boyfriend is at Harvard and I wanted to be close to him, but I guess we will figure it out. If I don't hear back from the other programs  I applied to by next week, I will accept the offer from Iowa :). 

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20 hours ago, E-P said:

You're welcome.  You're amazing because you're so brave.  You want to move to a whole new country to follow your dream.  I had the opportunity to do that years ago, and I just couldn't.  I see you were accepted to Iowa? Is that the same as the Iowa Creative Workshop?  If so, I'm even more impressed by you!  I feel like whenever I see a famous, articulate, inspiring author, they're always an Iowa graduate.  I don't know if it's your first choice, but I wish I knew Spanish just so I could read what you write!

I got accepted at Boston College!!!!

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I wrote to BU Romances Studies department to know if the had already send admissions for their Ph.D program (to see if I should give up hope) and I got a mail from the administrative assistant telling me that my application was still on consideration and asking me to be patient and wait a little more for an answer. I know that BU has already send admission letters to other people for the same program I applied to. Does this means I am on a internal waiting list? Should I keep hope? I have a very good offer from BCollege, so in any case I am going to Boston on the fall, but I don't what to think. BU was my top choice from the beginning so I can't help feeling really anxious. This was a week ago. Should I keep waiting? Is there any hope?

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On 3/7/2018 at 8:34 PM, Remy10 said:

Thank you for posting this, this is exactly what I needed to hear!! :)

You're welcome!  You are valuable far beyond an application.

 

On 3/7/2018 at 8:46 PM, itsjoya said:

I love how optimistic you are. You have surely brightened up the days of this people, thanks for those kind words. 

In real life, I tend to be too negative...but I have my moments!  I have found that moments like the ones that inspired this post are rooted in compassion and empathy.  I guess this post symbolizes who I want to be, but not yet who I am.  #StretchGoals

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@LauraVZ I don't know BU's department, but it does sound like it's a waitlist situation.  If I were in your shoes, I would probably turn down Iowa, since you know you're not going there, so that other people can get off the wait list there.  Then, when you know what's up with BU, you can accept BC or BU, depending on the offer.  Maybe turning down the other schools and opening up waitlists will create some positive waitlist karma and get you off BU's waitlist. 

But that's just me.  I'm not in your field, so it might be worth asking someone else around here *gesticulates wildly to the rest of the forum* to see if they have any thoughts.

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1 hour ago, E-P said:

@LauraVZ I don't know BU's department, but it does sound like it's a waitlist situation.  If I were in your shoes, I would probably turn down Iowa, since you know you're not going there, so that other people can get off the wait list there.  Then, when you know what's up with BU, you can accept BC or BU, depending on the offer.  Maybe turning down the other schools and opening up waitlists will create some positive waitlist karma and get you off BU's waitlist. 

But that's just me.  I'm not in your field, so it might be worth asking someone else around here *gesticulates wildly to the rest of the forum* to see if they have any thoughts.

I already turned down Iowa's offer days ago! It wouldn't be nice to keep them waiting if they have a long waitlist...

I hope BU says something soon...I want to know.

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2 hours ago, LauraVZ said:

I already turned down Iowa's offer days ago! It wouldn't be nice to keep them waiting if they have a long waitlist...

 

Great minds think alike!  Let us know when BU gets back to you.  Do you already have an MA?  Or would your PhD include the MA work too?

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Thank you for this post! I can't express how much your words have helped. I've been finding it to be extremely hard to distance myself from the looming rejection as if it's not personal because I feel that much of what is poured into the applications are pieces of my life. It's been a long two and a half months. I've gotten two rejections (one with acceptance to a masters program but without funding) and I'm waiting on five to respond. I haven't gotten any interviews and I know it's super late in the game already. I'm at that point where I'm picking myself up after drowning in misery. 

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On 15/3/2018 at 4:54 PM, E-P said:

Great minds think alike!  Let us know when BU gets back to you.  Do you already have an MA?  Or would your PhD include the MA work too?

It would include the MA :). I'll tell you if they say something :)

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