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Backing out from a school to attend another school


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So...as I assumed, the one school that I had been waiting to hear from since December finally contacted me today letting me know that I was accepted into their program! They didn't give me any sort of decision before the 15th (not even a waitlist) and told me I would know asap. So because the 15th came I accepted at another program that I was lucky to get into so I would have somewhere to attend. But the school that accepted me today is my number 1 school and has been my dream school ever since wanting to apply for grad schools.

I had a feeling that I would be backing out of a school to attend one of my waitlist schools, but now that the actual time has come I feel super bad about doing so. I know that many people must do this but I didn't realize how crappy I would feel about it. Also, I know a post has been made about this already, but has anyone done this or knows someone who has done it? I'm just trying to find a way to word my email to the program director without sounding rude/unappreciative. My parents say I should just be honest and let them know how I haven't heard from this school throughout the entire cycle and just found out from them today. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Also, please no negative posts about how this could possibly affect my future or "black list" me because I know it won't. I'm more concerned about how to word the email in the kindest way possible. 

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14 minutes ago, hopefulslp1 said:

So...as I assumed, the one school that I had been waiting to hear from since December finally contacted me today letting me know that I was accepted into their program! They didn't give me any sort of decision before the 15th (not even a waitlist) and told me I would know asap. So because the 15th came I accepted at another program that I was lucky to get into so I would have somewhere to attend. But the school that accepted me today is my number 1 school and has been my dream school ever since wanting to apply for grad schools.

I had a feeling that I would be backing out of a school to attend one of my waitlist schools, but now that the actual time has come I feel super bad about doing so. I know that many people must do this but I didn't realize how crappy I would feel about it. Also, I know a post has been made about this already, but has anyone done this or knows someone who has done it? I'm just trying to find a way to word my email to the program director without sounding rude/unappreciative. My parents say I should just be honest and let them know how I haven't heard from this school throughout the entire cycle and just found out from them today. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Also, please no negative posts about how this could possibly affect my future or "black list" me because I know it won't. I'm more concerned about how to word the email in the kindest way possible. 

I did this! It was the same situation for me. I sent my deposit to my number 2 school and they day later I was accepted into my dream program. This all occurred before the 15th. The crazy part is that it was a mail in deposit for the number 2 school, and the letter had not even arrived there yet. In this case, I called the office to let them know, as I had no e-mail contact since everything was sent by mail. I found it was better to not explain why I was now declining, but instead just apologizing and saying my decision is now to decline the offer. I wouldn't mention anything about the other school, but that's just my opinion.

Here is a sample e-mail:

"Dear x, I recently accepted the offer to your program. I am grateful for this opportunity, however I have now decided that I would like to decline the offer. I apologize for the inconvenience caused by my decision and wish your program the best in its continued success. Please let me know if there are any further steps that you would like me to take in order to resolve this situation. Thank you once again for your consideration." 

Don't feel bad! This happens and maybe your decision will allow someone to have a spot off of the wait list, which I am sure they will be happy about :)

Good luck to you! 

Edited by Felice
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14 minutes ago, Felice said:

I did this! It was the same situation for me. I sent my deposit to my number 2 school and they day later I was accepted into my dream program. This all occurred before the 15th. The crazy part is that it was a mail in deposit for the number 2 school, and the letter had not even arrived there yet. In this case, I called the office to let them know, as I had no e-mail contact since everything was sent by mail. I found it was better to not explain why I was now declining, but instead just apologizing and saying my decision is now to decline the offer. I wouldn't mention anything about the other school, but that's just my opinion.

Here is a sample e-mail:

"Dear x, I recently accepted the offer to your program. I am grateful for this opportunity, however I have now decided that I would like to decline the offer. I apologize for the inconvenience caused by my decision and wish your program the best in its continued success. Please let me know if there are any further steps that you would like me to take in order to resolve this situation. Thank you once again for your consideration." 

Don't feel bad! This happens and maybe your decision will allow someone to have a spot off of the wait list, which I am sure they will be happy about :)

Good luck to you! 

Thank you! That makes me feel much better! The school I originally accepted at was from off their wait list so I hope they still have people they can contact to fill my spot. Luckily the school didn't have a deposit so I wouldn't be losing any money, I just feel bad being super excited about accepting and then basically saying psych. 

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1 hour ago, hopefulslp1 said:

Thank you! That makes me feel much better! The school I originally accepted at was from off their wait list so I hope they still have people they can contact to fill my spot. Luckily the school didn't have a deposit so I wouldn't be losing any money, I just feel bad being super excited about accepting and then basically saying psych. 

Life happens! As long as you apologize I don't think you are harming anyone. Although this isn't the ideal situation, I think they will understand. You have to go with your dream school! 

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On 17.04.2018 at 1:29 AM, Felice said:

I did this! It was the same situation for me. I sent my deposit to my number 2 school and they day later I was accepted into my dream program. This all occurred before the 15th. The crazy part is that it was a mail in deposit for the number 2 school, and the letter had not even arrived there yet. In this case, I called the office to let them know, as I had no e-mail contact since everything was sent by mail. I found it was better to not explain why I was now declining, but instead just apologizing and saying my decision is now to decline the offer. I wouldn't mention anything about the other school, but that's just my opinion.

Here is a sample e-mail:

"Dear x, I recently accepted the offer to your program. I am grateful for this opportunity, however I have now decided that I would like to decline the offer. I apologize for the inconvenience caused by my decision and wish your program the best in its continued success. Please let me know if there are any further steps that you would like me to take in order to resolve this situation. Thank you once again for your consideration." 

Don't feel bad! This happens and maybe your decision will allow someone to have a spot off of the wait list, which I am sure they will be happy about :)

Good luck to you! 

Hi, 

Thank you for your comments.

I may be in the same situation in the next a few days. I have accepted an funded offer (School A) on April 15. But I also got an offer from School B where waitlisted for a funding package, which I would prefer to go to. Because I could not risk my chance of School A while waiting for School B for funding, I accepted A.

School B still has not returned me yet, (I emailed them yesterday). They may not have a fund for me but what if they provide a funding package too late.

I hope they notify me in this week. It seems the process of accepting/declining is almost over. 

If they say "we do not have a fund for you" then it would be OK since I guaranteed school A.

If they have funding for me, then I have to find a way to decline the school A. 

What is the safe way to do decline A and accept B? I mean should I fırst accept B then decline A? or Should I first decline/email A and learned their attitude toward my decision then accept B?

By the way, what is deposit? how does it relate to declining an offer?

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41 minutes ago, CPRel said:

By the way, what is deposit? how does it relate to declining an offer?

 Many schools have a nonrefundable deposit that you have to send them when you are admitted (mine was $500). It goes towards your tuition if you attend, but if you back out you lose it.

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7 hours ago, CPRel said:

Hi, 

Thank you for your comments.

I may be in the same situation in the next a few days. I have accepted an funded offer (School A) on April 15. But I also got an offer from School B where waitlisted for a funding package, which I would prefer to go to. Because I could not risk my chance of School A while waiting for School B for funding, I accepted A.

School B still has not returned me yet, (I emailed them yesterday). They may not have a fund for me but what if they provide a funding package too late.

I hope they notify me in this week. It seems the process of accepting/declining is almost over. 

If they say "we do not have a fund for you" then it would be OK since I guaranteed school A.

If they have funding for me, then I have to find a way to decline the school A. 

What is the safe way to do decline A and accept B? I mean should I fırst accept B then decline A? or Should I first decline/email A and learned their attitude toward my decision then accept B?

By the way, what is deposit? how does it relate to declining an offer?

If there was a deposit, you will lose it if you back out. I am not sure what happens when funding is involved, but if you do decide to decline school A, you should accept B first. That way you are locked in somewhere. 

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  • 1 month later...

This JUST happened to me.

I accepted School A, because it was the best financial option at the time (I applied to three schools) the April 15th deadline came around. I was set on attending, paid my deposit.

Everytime I contacted School B for a decision, they told me they were unsure of when it would be released. April and May passed, and I finally decided to sign a lease with future roommates, so as to not lose the housing they found. the same day, I heard from School B and that they would be offering full tuition.

Now I have to talk to School A to notify them that I wont be attending. Feel bad that I probably took someone else's spot, but have to do what makes most financial sense.

 

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