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I is stressed *Non-Judgmental Space for PhD Applicants*


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2 hours ago, liznlex said:

I got Aldo brand loafer flats and wore them to an interview where they emphasized that there would be a lot of walking. I felt like the loafer style looked a little more professional than regular flats and they were way comfier than when I wore heels to the first interview !

Oh thanks for the tip re loafers!! 

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On 2/18/2019 at 7:35 AM, vallaboop said:

I have my only interview on Saturday and I'm so stressed/nervous/anxious about it I have no idea how I'm going to focus on anything else this week. AHHHHH

Just practice your answers for some of the most common questions and you'll do just fine! ?

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I travel out tomorrow to interview Thurs/Fri at my DREAM school. Third time applying, and I finally got a visit. Nervous is an understatement. I literally bought three different grey cardigans to try on with my interview outfit, because I last minute decided I no longer wanted to wear a jacket. Like, who am I? What is this world. Headed to the gym to stress walk until my nerves can finally calm down!

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21 minutes ago, petitebiscuit said:

I travel out tomorrow to interview Thurs/Fri at my DREAM school. Third time applying, and I finally got a visit. Nervous is an understatement. I literally bought three different grey cardigans to try on with my interview outfit, because I last minute decided I no longer wanted to wear a jacket. Like, who am I? What is this world. Headed to the gym to stress walk until my nerves can finally calm down!

Good luck ?! I am sending you positive vibes!! 

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23 minutes ago, petitebiscuit said:

I travel out tomorrow to interview Thurs/Fri at my DREAM school. Third time applying, and I finally got a visit. Nervous is an understatement. I literally bought three different grey cardigans to try on with my interview outfit, because I last minute decided I no longer wanted to wear a jacket. Like, who am I? What is this world. Headed to the gym to stress walk until my nerves can finally calm down!

GOOD LUCK! You are so ready for this you're gonna kill it!!!

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I got rejected from what was supposed to be my dream program, but that after visiting and having many conversations with my POI, I actually felt really conflicted about. I loved everyone I met in the department, but did not feel so comfortable with my POI and their style of working and just some other hints that raised tiny red flags. So in a weird way, I’m relieved? I think I would’ve felt that the strength of the program would’ve made me feel like I had to choose it and just endure. Some of the other professors and grad students told me point blank that I might be better off elsewhere and I really appreciated that honesty. One even told me flat out that one of my other offers is the better choice! So, I’m not sad like I thought I would be. And my POi actually wrote me a very kind email with some very helpful tips about my thesis project and wished me well. Plus another professor emailed to say they’d still like to work with me wherever I end up. So all in all, it was a great rejection all around, go figure!

This just goes to show you that it’s a really good idea to be as candid as you feel comfortable being, and to ask good questions, because finding out your dream school isn’t actually your dream school can be a good thing, and still work out in the end. I am much less stressed now!

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After sending a thank you email to a POI after an interview, I got a really promising email back from her with phrases like "It was such a pleasure to meet with you" and "I am incredibly impressed with all the work you have done and also feel that your research interests are a great fit with my lab" and then she said she plans to touch base with me soon. Sounds super promising but now have heard NOTHING from her since then and I'm going crazy and now I'm not sure what to think! This process is torture!!!

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1 minute ago, ClinPsych2019 said:

After sending a thank you email to a POI after an interview, I got a really promising email back from her with phrases like "It was such a pleasure to meet with you" and "I am incredibly impressed with all the work you have done and also feel that your research interests are a great fit with my lab" and then she said she plans to touch base with me soon. Sounds super promising but now have heard NOTHING from her since then and I'm going crazy and now I'm not sure what to think! This process is torture!!!

How long ago was that?

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7 minutes ago, ClinPsych2019 said:

Not quite a week ago, but just sounded so promising I thought it meant I was going to be hearing from her soon so seconding guessing now.

I had this happen too FOUR times. Once in person where the professors said they loved me and I’d be a great fit, THEN the other three through email about how it was such a pleasure and how impressive I was and had a great fit....

*waitlisted at every one*

Therefore I am sending you good vibes and hoping that you will receive good news unlike me!

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Just now, Keyz said:

I had this happen too FOUR times. Once in person where the professors said they loved me and I’d be a great fit, THEN the other three through email about how it was such a pleasure and how impressive I was and had a great fit....

*waitlisted at every one*

Therefore I am sending you good vibes and hoping that you will receive good news unlike me!

Ahhh that’s TERRIBLE!! They shouldn’t make it sound so promising if they aren’t following it up with an offer! Good vibes to you too ???? 

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4 hours ago, Keyz said:

I had this happen too FOUR times. Once in person where the professors said they loved me and I’d be a great fit, THEN the other three through email about how it was such a pleasure and how impressive I was and had a great fit....

*waitlisted at every one*

Therefore I am sending you good vibes and hoping that you will receive good news unlike me!

Gotta say sweet words to keep your sidepieces happy enough to stick around. 

Would you be okay being a backup plan if they didn’t flatter you? Less likely. I don’t blame professors for that strategy but I’m done taking their word at face value. 

Been waitlisted or rejected after compliments too many times.

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7 minutes ago, FreudEgg said:

I got my interview schedule, and I am my PIs middle interview. Ef. I’m stressing about not being first/last because of recall etc etc. Tell me I’m not crazy or tell me about how you got in even though you were the middle interview. Or any insight tbh.

#sendhelp

I wouldn't worry about it! You are still interviewing with them and that's what matters! Plus it will help you get out some of your nerves having more time to be acquainted with other faculty members. 

I haven't received my interview schedule and they said I won't until that morning. Talk about stressful

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19 hours ago, Fabretti said:

Has anyone here also experiencing depressive symptoms? For real, I think I'm getting depressed. No interview invites, no response from the last two universities... it's a horrible situation.

Yeah this process is so brutal. So far I have been rejected from two places and have had mostly radio silence from the other places. The one school I was in touch with has been ghosting me for a month, so I feel what you are going through. Do you have any alternative plans for next year? 

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13 minutes ago, vallaboop said:

I wouldn't worry about it! You are still interviewing with them and that's what matters! Plus it will help you get out some of your nerves having more time to be acquainted with other faculty members. 

I haven't received my interview schedule and they said I won't until that morning. Talk about stressful

Ah thanks, I’m trying to think about it like that. But I am reading into EVERYTHING

and maybe day of is a good thing! Bc then you don’t have extra time to read into things like me ? good luck! 

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31 minutes ago, HAC said:

Yeah this process is so brutal. So far I have been rejected from two places and have had mostly radio silence from the other places. The one school I was in touch with has been ghosting me for a month, so I feel what you are going through. Do you have any alternative plans for next year? 

Same here. I will be sticking with the master's program in my home university (in Brazil). People say PhD is what matters most. What about you?

Edited by Fabretti
Misspelling
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23 minutes ago, BFFSkinner said:

I have an exam in a couple hours that I have not studied for yet because I can't stop wondering if I am going to get any acceptances, and reloading this site. ?

That was me last week! Good luck on your exam!

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2 hours ago, FreudEgg said:

I got my interview schedule, and I am my PIs middle interview. Ef. I’m stressing about not being first/last because of recall etc etc. Tell me I’m not crazy or tell me about how you got in even though you were the middle interview. Or any insight tbh.

#sendhelp

I got in as the middle interview!!

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10 hours ago, 41l1!I2 said:

Gotta say sweet words to keep your sidepieces happy enough to stick around. 

Would you be okay being a backup plan if they didn’t flatter you? Less likely. I don’t blame professors for that strategy but I’m done taking their word at face value. 

Been waitlisted or rejected after compliments too many times.

Yeah totally understandable, it just seems like it's the name of the game. The only bad thing is that my PIs didn't give any sense of what part of the waitlist that we are on (I'm assuming so since other posts have only stated being "waitlisted" as well without top/middle/bottom).

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