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I is stressed *Non-Judgmental Space for PhD Applicants*


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23 minutes ago, checkingmyemail said:

Same. Tomorrow makes it officially 2 weeks. We really just went through another day of not hearing $h!t..................... the stress is tewmuchrightnow ????

In the program I just interviewed for, two weeks from the interview is standard. Maybe tomorrow is the day!

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My landlord reached out to find out whether I wanted to renew my lease which expires at the end of next month. I informed him he is on my wait list. 

How to respond to a rejection letter (from https://www.socialpsychology.org/reject.htm)   Graduate Admissions Committee Department of PsychologyBig Deal UniversityCollegeville, USA

I think I've forgotten how to not be stressed. I have all my results from programs now and I'm still checking the results page obsessively. I don't know what I'm trying to find lol.

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Guys I'm casually measuring the time until my next interview by how many more sleeps I have until interview day. Like nbd, but it's now 15 more sleeps til interview day. I need an advent calendar to get me through this business. 

Edited bc actually an advent calendar is such a good idea. I'm going to find one on amazon and just eat 2 chocolates a day. Just living my best life.

Edited by FreudEgg
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My rational self realizes that a decision is unlikely to happen on Sundays, as my POIs are likely not in the office to send emails and snail mail is not delivered on Sundays. I should be taking Sundays as a day to not check this site, not refresh my email a thousand times, and not log into all of my schools' application portals to check my status, as I know there will not be anything there. However, my irrational self takes over and does all of these things regardless, even at outrageous times like 4am. My goodness I cannot wait until this is over. 

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1 hour ago, lmk94 said:

My rational self realizes that a decision is unlikely to happen on Sundays, as my POIs are likely not in the office to send emails and snail mail is not delivered on Sundays. I should be taking Sundays as a day to not check this site, not refresh my email a thousand times, and not log into all of my schools' application portals to check my status, as I know there will not be anything there. However, my irrational self takes over and does all of these things regardless, even at outrageous times like 4am. My goodness I cannot wait until this is over. 

Actually I got a personalized email acceptance (but for a master’s when I applied to the PhD ?) today at 10:30 in the morning, so you really never know.

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14 minutes ago, buckeyepsych said:

I've decided that my reward to myself once I get to grad school is going to be a cat or dog of my very own, so clearly I spend all of my days browsing petfinder in each city where I could end up...

On top of that it’s a long-term reward in my opinion. Having a pet has been the best self-care in my life. 

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1 hour ago, buckeyepsych said:

I've decided that my reward to myself once I get to grad school is going to be a cat or dog of my very own, so clearly I spend all of my days browsing petfinder in each city where I could end up...

I so hear you, but I told my SO that if I DON’T get in, then we get dog #3 bc that way win/win?/less terrible loss/I can drown my sorrows in dog fur. 

He didn’t agree, but I feel like I get an A for effort. 

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3 hours ago, buckeyepsych said:

I've decided that my reward to myself once I get to grad school is going to be a cat or dog of my very own, so clearly I spend all of my days browsing petfinder in each city where I could end up...

Nice. A good way to pass time 😊 I love my dog... never asks if I found out yet where I will go... or if... (I think it is enough that I ask myself these questions, don't need to hear it from others 😬😫😂)

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This may not be a popular sentiment (but pls no judge in this judge-free zone), but I'm realizing I'm taking getting waitlisted much more personally than just a straight-up rejection/ghosting. Like of course I want programs to be transparent with me, and I know it's usually just about fit, but I can't help but feel crappy about myself when I've gone to interview in person, felt like things went well, and then still get waitlisted. Things will work out the way they're supposed to, but I just wanted to rage and vent that getting waitlisted oddly feels WAY more like a failure to me than rejections. blah. 

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29 minutes ago, ilobebrains said:

This may not be a popular sentiment (but pls no judge in this judge-free zone), but I'm realizing I'm taking getting waitlisted much more personally than just a straight-up rejection/ghosting. Like of course I want programs to be transparent with me, and I know it's usually just about fit, but I can't help but feel crappy about myself when I've gone to interview in person, felt like things went well, and then still get waitlisted. Things will work out the way they're supposed to, but I just wanted to rage and vent that getting waitlisted oddly feels WAY more like a failure to me than rejections. blah. 

I think this is (highkey) a common sentiment, honestly.

I haven’t been “waitlisted post-interview” yet, but if I was (let’s say #5? on a list), I would feel like absolute $h!t knowing my PI DID NOT consider me his/her #1, and it was only until his #s 1-4 options rejected the offer that the PI decided to “make me an offer.”

I guess my comment doesn’t make the situation better, wahhh, but I’m just preparing for worst-case scenario.... and these are the stupid thoughts that I run through my head. Again, everything sucks, I want this process to end already 😭

Edited by checkingmyemail
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2 minutes ago, checkingmyemail said:

I think this is (highkey) a common sentiment, honestly.

I haven’t been “waitlisted post-interview” yet, but if I was (let’s say #5? on a list), I would feel like absolute $h!t knowing my PI DID NOT consider me his/her #1, and it was only until his #s 1-4 options rejected the offer that the PI decided to “make me an offer.”

I guess my comment doesn’t make the situation better, wahhh, but I’m just preparing for worst-case scenario.... and these are the stupid thoughts that I run through my head. Again, everything sucks, I want this process to end already 😭

IT'S THE WORSTTT hang in there ❤️

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1 hour ago, ilobebrains said:

This may not be a popular sentiment (but pls no judge in this judge-free zone), but I'm realizing I'm taking getting waitlisted much more personally than just a straight-up rejection/ghosting. Like of course I want programs to be transparent with me, and I know it's usually just about fit, but I can't help but feel crappy about myself when I've gone to interview in person, felt like things went well, and then still get waitlisted. Things will work out the way they're supposed to, but I just wanted to rage and vent that getting waitlisted oddly feels WAY more like a failure to me than rejections. blah. 

There is always the chance that you are waitlisted due to funding issues, and it could be totally not personal but something like another professor has first dibs on the money and if their pick passes, you get it. Try to think of the waitlist as them saying they really want you and are trying to figure out how to make it happen.

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So, awkward moment of the day, one of my current professors convinced me to apply to the Ph.D. program in his department at my current school last minute. He thought I had a good shot so I said okay. Today after class he comes up to shake my hand to congratulate me on my admission except... I haven’t been? My application still says out for review. And to make it worse instead of saying, “oh they haven’t told you yet? Yes! You’re in!” He says he must’ve made a mistake, and that the head of the committee had told him something and he’d thought it was me, but he wasn’t sure what name he said and he was sorry... so I guess I didn’t get in? But also, maybe I did, since he isn’t really sure what happened? Wtf? Now I’m stalking the results page to see if they did send out acceptances because I have no freaking idea what to think.

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25 minutes ago, Psyhopeful said:

There is always the chance that you are waitlisted due to funding issues, and it could be totally not personal but something like another professor has first dibs on the money and if their pick passes, you get it. Try to think of the waitlist as them saying they really want you and are trying to figure out how to make it happen.

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I try to believe them when they say "there are too many qualified candidates and unfortunately we just can't pick all of you." Blah!

19 minutes ago, Psyhopeful said:

So, awkward moment of the day, one of my current professors convinced me to apply to the Ph.D. program in his department at my current school last minute. He thought I had a good shot so I said okay. Today after class he comes up to shake my hand to congratulate me on my admission except... I haven’t been? My application still says out for review. And to make it worse instead of saying, “oh they haven’t told you yet? Yes! You’re in!” He says he must’ve made a mistake, and that the head of the committee had told him something and he’d thought it was me, but he wasn’t sure what name he said and he was sorry... so I guess I didn’t get in? But also, maybe I did, since he isn’t really sure what happened? Wtf? Now I’m stalking the results page to see if they did send out acceptances because I have no freaking idea what to think.

I'm so sorry :( That's just a huge blow and so hard to interpret because you don't have all the information. Sigh. Is this PhD program one of your top choices?

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39 minutes ago, Psyhopeful said:

So, awkward moment of the day, one of my current professors convinced me to apply to the Ph.D. program in his department at my current school last minute. He thought I had a good shot so I said okay. Today after class he comes up to shake my hand to congratulate me on my admission except... I haven’t been? My application still says out for review. And to make it worse instead of saying, “oh they haven’t told you yet? Yes! You’re in!” He says he must’ve made a mistake, and that the head of the committee had told him something and he’d thought it was me, but he wasn’t sure what name he said and he was sorry... so I guess I didn’t get in? But also, maybe I did, since he isn’t really sure what happened? Wtf? Now I’m stalking the results page to see if they did send out acceptances because I have no freaking idea what to think.

That's............ Incredibly awkward. I'm hoping that you did actually get in and everything will come together. Sending good vibes your way!

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24 minutes ago, ilobebrains said:

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I try to believe them when they say "there are too many qualified candidates and unfortunately we just can't pick all of you." Blah!

I'm so sorry :( That's just a huge blow and so hard to interpret because you don't have all the information. Sigh. Is this PhD program one of your top choices?

Thanks. Yeah, it’s the potential hope he inspired that’s getting me. I was fine not knowing, but this... that they’ve made decisions and maybe I’m in or maybe he’s confused, just sucks. I actually just got into one of my top choices, but this is a (more) highly respected program and it would be nice to keep my current faculty connections and stay “home”. It just sucks, lol. I’m a psych major, you can’t expect me to stop trying to figure out what it all means!

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On 12/14/2018 at 1:55 PM, justacigar said:

Seriously, the post-submission anxiety is nutso. I've already baked 5-spice ginger cookies and gingerbread blondies. This weekend I am diving into peppermint hot chocolate cookies, linzer sandwich cookies filled with raspberry jam, and english toffee cookie bars! Luckily I have a cookie exchange to attend so they will be out of my house and I won't gain 10 pounds ?

I wish I hated sugar! I am hopelessly addicted to the stuff lol

Forgive me if someone has already asked, but would you share the gingerbread blondie recipe? Those sound delicious. I've been making brown sugar-coffee caramels; wrapping them is time-consuming enough that it consumes some of my excess energy. 

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1 hour ago, Psyhopeful said:

So, awkward moment of the day, one of my current professors convinced me to apply to the Ph.D. program in his department at my current school last minute. He thought I had a good shot so I said okay. Today after class he comes up to shake my hand to congratulate me on my admission except... I haven’t been? My application still says out for review. And to make it worse instead of saying, “oh they haven’t told you yet? Yes! You’re in!” He says he must’ve made a mistake, and that the head of the committee had told him something and he’d thought it was me, but he wasn’t sure what name he said and he was sorry... so I guess I didn’t get in? But also, maybe I did, since he isn’t really sure what happened? Wtf? Now I’m stalking the results page to see if they did send out acceptances because I have no freaking idea what to think.

That has to be so stressful for you! I'm sorry your professor did that, that was so unprofessional no matter how you look at it. Here's to hoping you did get in and he just got flustered and panicked. 

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I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with the stress of waiting on my top choice. I felt really confident going into the application because I had a great Skype conversation with my POI, and she had me talk to her grad student via Skype the next day. I really clicked with her and her research. I've heard nothing from her and the application was due December 1. :( 

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16 hours ago, Psyhopeful said:

So, awkward moment of the day, one of my current professors convinced me to apply to the Ph.D. program in his department at my current school last minute. He thought I had a good shot so I said okay. Today after class he comes up to shake my hand to congratulate me on my admission except... I haven’t been? My application still says out for review. And to make it worse instead of saying, “oh they haven’t told you yet? Yes! You’re in!” He says he must’ve made a mistake, and that the head of the committee had told him something and he’d thought it was me, but he wasn’t sure what name he said and he was sorry... so I guess I didn’t get in? But also, maybe I did, since he isn’t really sure what happened? Wtf? Now I’m stalking the results page to see if they did send out acceptances because I have no freaking idea what to think.

Something that my PIs told me in lab is that graduate program application pages/status are generally not a good way of determining whether decisions have been made because those sites typically handle all graduate programs and not just the psychology department. In most cases, it doesn't update from "in review" until all graduate programs in the university made their decisions. Therefore, I wouldn't stress about the page saying that it's still under review. Definitely a stressful/awkward situation, but it's not as bad as it seems.

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13 February... still waiting after my interviews. I find myself permanently wondering if that is a good or bad thing 🙄 Although I am happy for everyone posting an acceptance in the results, I am somewhat relieved not seeing anything about the programs I favor in the results section. I tell myself if there is no other acceptance/rejection/waitlist, maybe they are still in their decision-making process... and if that does not help I eat chocolate... lots of chocolate... that reminds me: I have to go and buy some more chocolate 😜

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