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missaque

Very Awkward Situation with Professor, Need Help

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Given the inappropriateness / awkwardness of the whole situation, may I ask why do you think he will write a good letter for you? 

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Just now, ial said:

 

Given the inappropriateness / awkwardness of the whole situation, may I ask why do you think he will write a good letter for you? 

That's a great question. I had some doubts when I was sending the e-mail and I should have listened to them, but I think I tried to rationalize it and convince myself that it was not a big deal and it would have blown over by now. When I was in his class, he acted like I was his favorite student (obviously, I know why) and sent an e-mail a year later to the entire class and claimed that he loved our class so much. I somehow believed that he would be responsible and remove his bias from the situation. Now that I've heard his response, safe to say I know he won't be able to write a postitive lor.

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3 minutes ago, wildmonkey said:

What were the signals that he had a crush on you?

Is it okay to send you a message? I would prefer not to publish this online. 

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Well, his response to your request doesn't seem inappropriate to me... he told you he would be happy to write the letter, and expressed a relatively reasonable concern (the time gap) that might or might not be an excuse to hide his being uncomfortable writing the letter for the reasons you mention. In any case, if there is an awkward situation that doesn't make YOU comfortable, and especially if you have other options, I wouldn't waste my time with him. And if you ever felt mistreated by his conduct, I would have serious doubts that his letter would be of any benefit for you. 

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52 minutes ago, ial said:

Well, his response to your request doesn't seem inappropriate to me... he told you he would be happy to write the letter, and expressed a relatively reasonable concern (the time gap) that might or might not be an excuse to hide his being uncomfortable writing the letter for the reasons you mention. In any case, if there is an awkward situation that doesn't make YOU comfortable, and especially if you have other options, I wouldn't waste my time with him. And if you ever felt mistreated by his conduct, I would have serious doubts that his letter would be of any benefit for you. 

Thank you - I appreciate your objective perspective and I really agree with you. It was definitely unreasonable for me to expect this person to write an appropriate letter. 

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