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dftba95

Let’s manage our stress together

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For those of you who are still waiting for responses while finishing your current degree, how are you managing your stress? How are you staying focused and motivated? 

I’m in the last few weeks of my undergrad and my fear of the unknown has been eating me alive. I tried to distract myself by throwing myself into what’s left of my semester but have instead found that the longer the waiting game becomes, the less interested in school I become. I know it’s in my best interest to apply myself 120% in these last few weeks (especially if I don’t end up getting any offers, I want my application next year to be that much stronger), but I just can’t shake the apathy that’s slowly taking over (“why bother working on my thesis?” “I don’t need an A+ to get my degree ...”). I know it’s destructive but I feel almost out of control. 

Some strategies I’m going to try to employ are:

1) dedicating a set amount of time to work on schoolwork (no less than say, 4 hours a day) so that everything still gets done. I find I’m more apt to finish something once I’ve convinced myself to start it 

2) instead of trying to distract myself with school; journaling, talking to folks on grad cafe, or speaking earnestly with my friends and my partner about my fears and worries

3) finding a little time every day to snuggle my cats and benefit from their healing purrs 

4) picking a new song to learn on my harp and focusing on learning it well (I find it’s hard to think about school when I’m actively trying to learn something new) 

I feel like writing this down was not only therapeutic, but will also help me hold myself accountable. Feel free to do the same! How are you managing your stress and apathy? 

We’re going to get through this together :) 

 

(Sorry if this thread already exists, I looked through the first couple of pages of the waiting game and didn’t see anything. Let me know if I need to remove this or repost in another topic and I’ll happily oblige) 

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Only if the grad school would publish probability percentage of each application's admission chance, before the long wait. This would solve all the problems and heartaches. On the other hand, torturing the grad students are kind of fun :(

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Edit: I’m not currently enrolled in school but I work full time at a job I’ll leave when grad school starts  

I’m also trying my best to focus on what I’m doing in the moment. I work full time so I’m TRYING to focus on current projects instead of wondering if I got into my top choice program that’s holding out on sending my decision.

Also going to the gym. I can’t help but forget about everything else in my life when I’m lifting heavy things. And watching funny TV in the evenings. 

The waiting struggle is real. 

Edited by MinDZ
Misread the OP

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2 hours ago, MinDZ said:

Edit: I’m not currently enrolled in school but I work full time at a job I’ll leave when grad school starts  

I’m also trying my best to focus on what I’m doing in the moment. I work full time so I’m TRYING to focus on current projects instead of wondering if I got into my top choice program that’s holding out on sending my decision.

Also going to the gym. I can’t help but forget about everything else in my life when I’m lifting heavy things. And watching funny TV in the evenings. 

The waiting struggle is real. 

The gym is smart, I find that even a brisk walk outside can do wonders to clear my head. I should do it more often! 

What kind of funny tv do you have on the go right now? 

I hope you hear from your top program soon so you can make an informed choice :) 

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5 hours ago, dftba95 said:

The gym is smart, I find that even a brisk walk outside can do wonders to clear my head. I should do it more often! 

What kind of funny tv do you have on the go right now? 

I hope you hear from your top program soon so you can make an informed choice :) 

Exercise is the best!!! Walking and running for me are great for thinking and weight lifting is for focusing on something other than my head spinning in circles over school.

At the moment I’m rewatching Community with my bf and on my own I’ve been watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Grace & Frankie. 

Thanks for the well-wishes! :D 

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Hang in there dftba95! The wait is unnerving and maddening, but it can't last much longer. I still haven't heard back from half the schools I applied to, but I bet that will change in the next week or two. Ways I'm staying sane:

1. Meditation

2. Gym

3. Hanging out with my spouse and puppies

4. Looking for summer employment. (I feel foolish for not applying to summer internships last fall, but I had no idea if I was going to be accepted into grad school or would need to find a regular, permanent job. I also thought I would have heard back from graduate schools and have my life figured out by mid February. Ha ha! ) 

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24 minutes ago, bookworm2 said:

Hang in there dftba95! The wait is unnerving and maddening, but it can't last much longer. I still haven't heard back from half the schools I applied to, but I bet that will change in the next week or two. Ways I'm staying sane:

1. Meditation

2. Gym

3. Hanging out with my spouse and puppies

4. Looking for summer employment. (I feel foolish for not applying to summer internships last fall, but I had no idea if I was going to be accepted into grad school or would need to find a regular, permanent job. I also thought I would have heard back from graduate schools and have my life figured out by mid February. Ha ha! ) 

This! I’m having such a hard time figuring what to do because I don’t know what’s ahead. I’m the kind of person who needs to know what’s happening next because I’m an over planner. This whole experience has forced me to deal with my fear of the unknown at the very least. 

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9 hours ago, MinDZ said:

Exercise is the best!!! Walking and running for me are great for thinking and weight lifting is for focusing on something other than my head spinning in circles over school.

At the moment I’m rewatching Community with my bf and on my own I’ve been watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Grace & Frankie. 

Thanks for the well-wishes! :D 

I love Grace and Frankie! I almost always have community or Brooklyn 99 on as background noise while I work. Clearly you have great taste in television so I’ll  have to check out Crazy Ex-Girlfriend :D 

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6 hours ago, dftba95 said:

I love Grace and Frankie! I almost always have community or Brooklyn 99 on as background noise while I work. Clearly you have great taste in television so I’ll  have to check out Crazy Ex-Girlfriend :D 

I need to watch Brooklyn 99! I think the humor will be right up my alley. I grew up doing musical theater so Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is fun for me, but, be warned it’s a musical tv show!! 

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11 hours ago, MinDZ said:

I need to watch Brooklyn 99! I think the humor will be right up my alley. I grew up doing musical theater so Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is fun for me, but, be warned it’s a musical tv show!! 

I highly recommend Brooklyn 99! The first season is shaky but then it’s all uphill from there. If you like musical shows ..... have you seen Galavant?

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I go to the gym 5 days a week, in the morning (6am), and run 5k for 3 days out of the week, in the evenings. 

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51 minutes ago, Ternwild said:

I go to the gym 5 days a week, in the morning (6am), and run 5k for 3 days out of the week, in the evenings. 

Goals! I lift in the mornings as well but I have a hard time motivating in the evenings to do cardio. 

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10 hours ago, dftba95 said:

I highly recommend Brooklyn 99! The first season is shaky but then it’s all uphill from there. If you like musical shows ..... have you seen Galavant?

I’ve never even heard of it! If you’re recommending it I’ll be sure to look it up!

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3 minutes ago, datasciencenoob said:

Any suggestions for people who are alone?

Most of us are alone.  My answer?  The gym (see above).

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8 minutes ago, MinDZ said:

Goals! I lift in the mornings as well but I have a hard time motivating in the evenings to do cardio. 

I tend to not think about it.  I just do it.  Even when I feel too lazy to do it.  I always feel better after.

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46 minutes ago, Ternwild said:

I tend to not think about it.  I just do it.  Even when I feel too lazy to do it.  I always feel better after.

That’s how I manage the morning lifts. I’ll just have to do that in the evenings too!!

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1 hour ago, MinDZ said:

That’s how I manage the morning lifts. I’ll just have to do that in the evenings too!!

Yeah, best thing you can do is set a time and stick to you.  I run Tuesday and Thursday starting at 7-9p (I give myself a range to account for life) and then Sat starting 10-11a.  You get so used to it that you don't feel right if you miss it.

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On 3/19/2019 at 3:17 PM, datasciencenoob said:

Any suggestions for people who are alone?

- Do something that “sparks joy” and commit yourself to doing it well. 

- Teach your pet a new trick and focus on their progress (bonus points if you give them post-play snuggles) 

- Get outside (if the weather is reasonable). Don’t underestimate the power of fresh air! 

- Reorganize your music library. Make new playlists based on mood, activities, or genres. 

- Take a break from gradcafe. This was one that I needed myself. The forum is awesome and it feels great to talk to people who get what you’re going through, but the results section can be really stressful, especially if you’re like me and need to compulsively check it every ten minutes when you’re here. 

- Give yourself permission to feel whatever you need to feel if distraction isn’t helpful. You’re okay; this isn’t where you fall apart. 

 

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I'm happy I found this post because it makes me feel so good I'm not the only one feeling this way!!! I hate not know what's coming and I find myself not wanting to do work or go to school I just want to sit and refresh my student center pages all day long to see if I got in! Waiting is horrible and no one in my life gets it! I'm so unmotivated for school! I have all A's after transferring and I worry I will hurt my GPA because I just don't care about it as much! I decided to make a list every night of what I need to get done the next day. I'm only allowed 7 things on my list because that is a doable number. It forces me to prioritize what I need to get done. I put things I've been struggling with in there too even I'd it's silly. Tomorrow I added get to work by 9 because lately I've been going later (my schedule is flexible so it's easy to take advantage) 

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I think I am failing to manage my stress. Even though I resist, those ideas of getting rejected continuously come to my mind. For the whole day, I spend worrying about my waitlisted status. I am currently graduating and completely ignoring my classes. I guess, these are the first signs of depression:) My life seems to be so miserable and writing helps me to organize my mind. 

Nevertheless, this is what I try to do in order to survive.

1. Run every morning

2. Meditate

3. Look for RA positions or jobs

4. Cook

5. Attend a psychologist session once a week. 

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I'm at peak stress waiting on funding information. Only one school I applied to might fund me, and I'm supposed to find out between tomorrow and next Monday.

It's easy to distract myself with movies or hobbies (writing, drawing) at home, but work is difficult. I've spent way too many work hours on GC over the past few weeks... I know that buckling down and focusing on my job would make me feel better, but my mind is always wandering and worrying about next year.

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I am honestly so impressed with how everyone here is handling the agonizing wait. I mostly just half-heartedly do my freelance work, and then spend most of the time worrying. 

So, good luck to everyone 

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