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Accepted off the waitlist and feeling INADEQUATE - SLP

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I got accepted off the wait list for my #1 school (my undergrad school) and now I'm feeling incredibly inadequate. First of all, I get how this looks -- I got in, I should be happy and there are a lot of people still waiting to get in. So, I'm sorry for being insensitive. However, I can't shake this feeling. I put everything into my undergrad. So much time and energy. I got the grades, participated, did the extracurriculars, got to know my professors, and so on. So there is this feeling of, they know me and didn't want me. Now going into this program I'll know that of my cohort, I was the runt of the litter. Has anyone else experienced this? 

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You shouldn't feel inadequate at all. Usually there is more qualified applicants than there is space in a cohort. Being waitlisted means that they saw potential in you but there may have been people with higher stats. Also, you never know exactly what a admissions team is looking for. But my point is if they did not want you there, you would have gotten rejected. Hope this helps and best of luck!

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I'd agree with what lasmith said! There are a lot of qualified applicants, and every admissions team is looking for something different. People get accepted with a variety of GPAs and GRE scores, from in and out of the field, with widely different extracurricular experiences, straight from undergrad or with years of work experience, etc. I'd imagine that admissions boards are looking for different applicants in order to have a diverse cohort as well.

I think it will be much more important what you do in your graduate studies, because that will define you in that new situation! I doubt that once you start school anyone will really be comparing who got accepted or who got waitlisted, and what all your stats were. You'll do great! I'm planning to attend the school where I was accepted off the waitlist with no regrets. :)

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think of it this way: in a few years, when you're an slp, NO ONE will care whether or not you got in right away or off the waitlist. all that matters is you're in! they simply didn't have space before, and now that they do, they want YOU. you're gonna rock it!

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I was also waitlisted and then accepted to my dream program and I have totally felt the same way. But, even people who weren't waitlisted also feel like this. Grad school is competitive and it's easy to feel like you don't belong when you compare yourselves to others. 

Don't listen to these negative thoughts, you are wanted in your program and will do great! Trust your own skills and keep pushing yourself to be better, but do this for you, not anyone else. 

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3 hours ago, slp2323 said:

I got accepted off the wait list for my #1 school (my undergrad school) and now I'm feeling incredibly inadequate. First of all, I get how this looks -- I got in, I should be happy and there are a lot of people still waiting to get in. So, I'm sorry for being insensitive. However, I can't shake this feeling. I put everything into my undergrad. So much time and energy. I got the grades, participated, did the extracurriculars, got to know my professors, and so on. So there is this feeling of, they know me and didn't want me. Now going into this program I'll know that of my cohort, I was the runt of the litter. Has anyone else experienced this? 

Umm you shoudnt feel inadequate. There were probably more qualified people than you which usually happens. Then you probably wanted to add newer people to the school and get out of state tuition. You probably would qualify for in state since you have already been there. Most schools look at who will make them some extra money. Don't feel like anything less in your cohort. You got accepted into a graduate school. Remember your value. 100's of people literally get accepted off the waitlist. I was accepted off the waitlist. I would be different if you were rejected first then they came back saying "Oh hey wanna join". Don't let a little "waitlist" decrease your worth.

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I have no idea who in our cohort got in off the waitlist, so if you don't volunteer that information, they'll never know! Professors will either not know or not care--they're not going to treat you any differently, and they will all be rooting for you to succeed.

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Posted (edited)

Thank you for both the tough love (I know I need it) and comfort! 

3 hours ago, Bmay80 said:

You got in!!! Stop with the negative self talk, you’ll do fine🌺

Yup I have a problem with negative self talk generally. Thank you.

2 hours ago, Southwestspeechie said:

I was also waitlisted and then accepted to my dream program and I have totally felt the same way. But, even people who weren't waitlisted also feel like this. Grad school is competitive and it's easy to feel like you don't belong when you compare yourselves to others. 

Glad, I'm not the only one! :) 

2 hours ago, bibliophile222 said:

I have no idea who in our cohort got in off the waitlist, so if you don't volunteer that information, they'll never know! Professors will either not know or not care--they're not going to treat you any differently, and they will all be rooting for you to succeed.

Professors looking at me differently was one of my greatest fears, so I appreciate you saying this!

Edited by slp2323

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First year grad student here! I was taken off the waiting list for the school that I'm currently attending. And actually, it was the only school I got into. I was rejected from everywhere else. So I TOTALLY understand what you're feeling. They talked a lot about "imposter syndrome" my first semester. If you aren't familiar, look it up! I felt like I wasn't good enough either, and it always feels like you're the only one that feels that way, but I guarantee you're not! As you start your program (CONGRATULATIONS!), keep this in mind as the "waitlist" mentality stuck with me.

Most professors will either not remember or don't care, and honestly people in your cohort don't really care either.

I was tight lipped about getting in off the waitlist, until someone else confided in me that they were taken off the waiting list. In fact, four people, including myself, were taken off the waiting list. So chances are, you're not the only one either. But of course, keep that information to yourself if that's what you want! Nothing wrong with that either.

Like @KelsHud said, know your worth. You are 10000% valuable and qualified to be in your dream program. Don't deny yourself the full experience and elation of getting into your dream program! That's a big deal!

Again, congratulations!!

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17 hours ago, SLPingUp said:

First year grad student here! I was taken off the waiting list for the school that I'm currently attending. And actually, it was the only school I got into. I was rejected from everywhere else. So I TOTALLY understand what you're feeling. They talked a lot about "imposter syndrome" my first semester. If you aren't familiar, look it up! I felt like I wasn't good enough either, and it always feels like you're the only one that feels that way, but I guarantee you're not! As you start your program (CONGRATULATIONS!), keep this in mind as the "waitlist" mentality stuck with me.

Yes, "imposter syndrome!" That is exactly it! Thank you for telling me about your experience. 

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I got waitlisted for into my program to come to Japan but I got in! Once I arrived, the fact that i was waitlisted instead of beign accepted from the beginning was irrelevant. I do my job just as well as the people who had been accepted. 

I think having "imposter syndrome" is so common in this field. Even after finishing school, it seems like a lot of people struggle with accepting that they CAN do the job and do it well. Know you're not alone in your feeling but also know it's unwarranted and you'll do great <3 Your waitlist is irrelevant now that you're in. Make the best of it!

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16 hours ago, Jess3863 said:

I got waitlisted for into my program to come to Japan but I got in! Once I arrived, the fact that i was waitlisted instead of beign accepted from the beginning was irrelevant. I do my job just as well as the people who had been accepted. 

Thank you! What do you do in Japan?

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On 4/4/2019 at 2:42 AM, slp2323 said:

Thank you! What do you do in Japan?

I teach English in 3 high schools and a special education school!

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On 4/7/2019 at 11:46 PM, Jess3863 said:

I teach English in 3 high schools and a special education school!

Impressive!! Good luck getting into grad school!

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On 4/1/2019 at 11:21 AM, slp2323 said:

I got accepted off the wait list for my #1 school (my undergrad school) and now I'm feeling incredibly inadequate. First of all, I get how this looks -- I got in, I should be happy and there are a lot of people still waiting to get in. So, I'm sorry for being insensitive. However, I can't shake this feeling. I put everything into my undergrad. So much time and energy. I got the grades, participated, did the extracurriculars, got to know my professors, and so on. So there is this feeling of, they know me and didn't want me. Now going into this program I'll know that of my cohort, I was the runt of the litter. Has anyone else experienced this? 

Being waitlisted doesnt mean you were somehow not good enough or deficient.

Two different program directors explained it this way:

Many times, programs are looking to fill their cohorts with people from various backgrounds, interests, locations, experience, basically many things beyond grades and scores. They are often looking to diversify the cohort.

People who are waitlisted have what the program is looking for, but the cohort is developing a certain way as far as diversity and the 'feel' for the cohort. If the dynamics change or someone declines, then they have room and will fill that slot and the dynamics change from the original plan for that cohort. Does that make sense?

Hope that helps

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Posted (edited)
On 4/17/2019 at 9:40 AM, CaidanFire said:

Being waitlisted doesnt mean you were somehow not good enough or deficient.

Two different program directors explained it this way:

Many times, programs are looking to fill their cohorts with people from various backgrounds, interests, locations, experience, basically many things beyond grades and scores. They are often looking to diversify the cohort.

People who are waitlisted have what the program is looking for, but the cohort is developing a certain way as far as diversity and the 'feel' for the cohort. If the dynamics change or someone declines, then they have room and will fill that slot and the dynamics change from the original plan for that cohort. Does that make sense?

Hope that helps

Thanks! I do feel like I've come a long way as far as processing everything since I first posted this. I've appreciated the support here and also seeing so many other people getting off waitlists by the dozens. It's just how the game works. 

Edited by slp2323

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I know the feeling! I was waitlisted to my undergrad institution, a "premier" school, and dealt with imposter syndrome for at least two years. I ended up graduated with honors in the top 5% of my university. My imposter syndrome turned into a "let-me-show-them" kind of drive, which was ultimately beneficial for me, but is something that I now realize was completely silly. I did what I did because I was capable of it from the start. You are too, right now. 

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