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That would be me. My first acceptance and I’m thrilled.

just got my Michigan offer. 6 years funding. Fuck. 

IN AT YALE!!!  IM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE 

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I keep going around in circles about my decision. I feel like I know what I want to do, but I'm too nervous to commit right now. I keep worrying that I'll make the wrong decision and hate it! But while one program might be objectively "better" than the other (smaller cohort, slightly more resources), I don't feel...excited to go there. It's weird because I've not laid eyes on either city/campus. I hate that I have to make this decision blindly!

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7 minutes ago, tinymica said:

I keep going around in circles about my decision. I feel like I know what I want to do, but I'm too nervous to commit right now. I keep worrying that I'll make the wrong decision and hate it! But while one program might be objectively "better" than the other (smaller cohort, slightly more resources), I don't feel...excited to go there. It's weird because I've not laid eyes on either city/campus. I hate that I have to make this decision blindly!

Do you have any gut feelings toward one or the other? Sometimes what's "best" on paper isn't necessarily the right choice. I think you'd be successful at either with the resources they offer!

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12 minutes ago, gooniesneversaydie said:

Do you have any gut feelings toward one or the other? Sometimes what's "best" on paper isn't necessarily the right choice. I think you'd be successful at either with the resources they offer!

Yes, I totally lean one way over the other! I don't mean to inconvenience anyone on either program's waitlist by dragging things out, but I'm still waiting on more info so I can make the most educated decision. I'm ready to free up some of my brain's real estate and focus on other things!

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1 hour ago, tinymica said:

Yes, I totally lean one way over the other! I don't mean to inconvenience anyone on either program's waitlist by dragging things out, but I'm still waiting on more info so I can make the most educated decision. I'm ready to free up some of my brain's real estate and focus on other things!

I would make a guess that any waitlist etiquette has been cannon-balled out the window at this point, so take your time because it's a big decision. 

Edited by gooniesneversaydie
Reread my post 500x - all over the place - made the main point shorter.
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1 hour ago, tinymica said:

Yes, I totally lean one way over the other! I don't mean to inconvenience anyone on either program's waitlist by dragging things out, but I'm still waiting on more info so I can make the most educated decision. I'm ready to free up some of my brain's real estate and focus on other things!

as a current third year, choose the school where your stipend is union protected (i really cannot emphasize this enough, uw's union has steadily fought for increased pay, we have no copay for mental health, and a strong contract enforcement protocol to protect against infractions), where grad students are nicer and seem organized, where faculty seems like you can really talk to them (this you may or may not have a feel for) and the city where you will feel excited to live for 5-8 years! the job market is such that no school can promise placement, so you should choose the place you *feel* is a good place to live in. that's just my two cents 🙂

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Just got a very kind and understanding email from Michigan (looks like it was sent to all waitlisted applicants) talking about how they understand the frustrations caused by these delays, expressing thanks for our patience, and also answering some common questions about deadlines, etc. I think I just fell a little bit more in love. 

Edited by onerepublic96
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2 hours ago, onerepublic96 said:

Just got a very kind and understanding email from Michigan (looks like it was sent to all waitlisted applicants) talking about how they understand the frustrations caused by these delays, expressing thanks for our patience, and also answering some common questions about deadlines, etc. I think I just fell a little bit more in love. 

Truly wish you get it. Your passion is dancing on my screen right now!! 

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18 hours ago, garnet7 said:

as a current third year, choose the school where your stipend is union protected (i really cannot emphasize this enough, uw's union has steadily fought for increased pay, we have no copay for mental health, and a strong contract enforcement protocol to protect against infractions), where grad students are nicer and seem organized, where faculty seems like you can really talk to them (this you may or may not have a feel for) and the city where you will feel excited to live for 5-8 years! the job market is such that no school can promise placement, so you should choose the place you *feel* is a good place to live in. that's just my two cents 🙂

Thank you so much for your kind response! I really appreciate it. It's such a comfort to have your (and everyone's) insights :)

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Wow. Just wow. Two weeks out and still nothing. C'mon BU, please please please just send rejections already (if they do waitlisting, I'll literally throw up). I already have my bitter, hilariously juvenile comment ready to put on the main page. 

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31 minutes ago, gooniesneversaydie said:

Wow. Just wow. Two weeks out and still nothing. C'mon BU, please please please just send rejections already (if they do waitlisting, I'll literally throw up). I already have my bitter, hilariously juvenile comment ready to put on the main page. 

They STILL haven’t said anything? I know this sounds obnoxiously Californian but I have to say this: Dude, not cool.

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14 minutes ago, tinymica said:

They STILL haven’t said anything? I know this sounds obnoxiously Californian but I have to say this: Dude, not cool.

Nope! I was so angry about it yesterday, like "scorched earth mf'' mad.

I'm really glad they gave you a good impression though!! All irrational rage aside, I'll definitely take a course there through the consortium. Then I can take down the establishment brick by brick from the inside.....mwhahaha!

Edited by gooniesneversaydie
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24 minutes ago, gooniesneversaydie said:

Nope! I was so angry about it yesterday, like "scorched earth mf'' mad.

I'm really glad they gave you a good impression though!! All irrational rage aside, I'll definitely take a course there through the consortium. Then I can take down the establishment brick by brick from the inside.....mwhahaha!

I would be just as mad if I were you! That's...really unacceptable and it's a mark against them in my book. The way a program treats waitlisted and rejected applicants is just as important as the way they treat accepted applicants, imo.

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Emerging from my long career of lurking to verify that applying to BU is absolutely the worst. Last cycle, I didn’t hear from anything them until April 26th(!), and it was only an acceptance to their irresponsibly underfunded MA program. If you haven’t heard anything back from them yet, it’s safe to assume they’re playing the same game this year.

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Well team, just got that sweet sweet rejection email from BU. If this rejection had come a couple of weeks ago, I would have been sad, but determined to reapply to programs next year... but now, with all of the uncertainty and confusion surrounding the virus, I'm not sure if I stand a chance. Of course, there is nothing we can say right now that might apply by this time next year. I just wish I could give myself any reassuring words for next year's application season. That being said, if you have any (reassuring words, that is) I'd sure be happy to hear 'em! 

It is a small consolation to get to hear the voices of those of you who did get into these schools. The most wonderful thing about this kind of space, to me, is that we're all in this together. It makes it much easier for me to root for you and wish you the absolute best.

As for me, I've got a nice bottle of Rosé and an earl grey mousse cake to comfort me tonight. Everybody stay safe and do something that makes you feel good today!

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Just got that UVA rejection. I have mixed feelings, but to be honest the most telling moment for me this entire cycle is that when I got the "check your portal" email, I thought "Noooooooo!" And I wasn't thinking about rejection, I was thinking about acceptance. So...I didn't really want to go there in the first place, although it's an amazing program and by all accounts a wonderful place to be. I'm okay with this :)

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12 minutes ago, GoldHippie said:

Well team, just got that sweet sweet rejection email from BU. If this rejection had come a couple of weeks ago, I would have been sad, but determined to reapply to programs next year... but now, with all of the uncertainty and confusion surrounding the virus, I'm not sure if I stand a chance. Of course, there is nothing we can say right now that might apply by this time next year. I just wish I could give myself any reassuring words for next year's application season. That being said, if you have any (reassuring words, that is) I'd sure be happy to hear 'em! 

It is a small consolation to get to hear the voices of those of you who did get into these schools. The most wonderful thing about this kind of space, to me, is that we're all in this together. It makes it much easier for me to root for you and wish you the absolute best.

As for me, I've got a nice bottle of Rosé and an earl grey mousse cake to comfort me tonight. Everybody stay safe and do something that makes you feel good today!

The reassurance I can offer is one from experience—I was completely shut out my first cycle, but the time it gave me to re-evaluate my priorities until the next cycle was absolutely invaluable. I got a new job, tried some different industries that allowed me to hone my skills without being an a university setting, expanded my pool of friends and connections, tried several new hobbies (didn’t keep all of them), read things far outside my usual recreational and academic interests, continued to love the things I already loved, took more time to research which programs would actual be a good fit for me as an individual, completely rebuilt/rewrote my writing sample and personal statements from the ground up, because clearly they didn’t work the first time. In short, I changed the things I could, accepted the parts of my application that were beyond changing, and learned that there were many other things I could be happy doing outside of academia! The fact that I was able to step away for a year and still felt the urge to reapply was only confirmation to me of how dedicated I was to pursuing this path.  
 

I cannot stress enough how very competitive the admissions process is—my current PhD application cycle, even after all that, resulted in 4 MA acceptances, three of them wildly underfunded, three waitlists, and more rejections than I care to number. I was eventually accepted off of the waitlist to my favorite PhD program, and I could not be happier with my choice to attend—all it takes is one acceptance! All this is to say that you should absolutely not take this shut out as an indicator of your personal value in any way. It’s true that programs will likely become even more competitive next year, but if you feel like you’ll regret not giving it at least one more try, you have the financial means to reapply next year, and you’re able to work on strengthening your application, I would give it another shot. No one can make this decision but you—give it some time, weather out this current weirdo curveball of a year, and you’ll know what to do.

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Just now, Wimsey said:

Popping in to join the UVA rejection party! I'm just glad I know now and not on April 13 or some such nonsense. With Virginia out of the way, I am leaning toward WashU. :) 

Partyyyyy! Who's bringing the chips? (Good luck making your decision btw!)

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1 minute ago, GoldHippie said:

Well team, just got that sweet sweet rejection email from BU. If this rejection had come a couple of weeks ago, I would have been sad, but determined to reapply to programs next year... but now, with all of the uncertainty and confusion surrounding the virus, I'm not sure if I stand a chance. Of course, there is nothing we can say right now that might apply by this time next year. I just wish I could give myself any reassuring words for next year's application season. That being said, if you have any (reassuring words, that is) I'd sure be happy to hear 'em! 

My heart. I'm sending you all the good vibes I possibly can that it borders on being creepy. Take time to heal. I will say this from my own experience: At 22 I had to drop out of undergrad. Cut to me at 29, sitting on my living room floor sobbing, holding a rejection letter from a local state school I tried to get into to restart my education. In that moment I thought I was completely f'ed and would never achieve my dream. After my sob-fest, I reevaluated and called the school asking how to improve my application - started cc 3 months later - graduated at a better state school 3 years after that. Last year, I got into a bomb PhD program, but the move didn't work out. I thought I was completely f'ed again because I had to walk away from my one chance. But, I reevaluated again, redid my personal statement and applied to even more schools. I've been lucky again to get into one PhD program, and one that suits my personality/lifestyle better than the one from last year. 

What I mean to say in all this rambling, is that if this is truly the path you want, don't give up. If it's not going to be financially/mentally/spiritually harmful to you to do this again next year then go for it. Reevaluate your materials and see if something needs improving. You can only control what you have in front of you. And I'm sure you've learned many lessons this time around that next year might be more manageable (also, you'll know not to apply to BU, so there's that!). I wish you the very best and hope you know that it'll work out how it's supposed to in the end, even if the journey takes longer than you originally hoped. You're not alone!

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