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victor.1234

"issue taks" accepting criticism

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Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

 

Answer:

Educational institutions have the obligation to promote and respect every path chosen by studying nevertheless their interested fields.

It is not ethical to assume that students would be more successful whether they follow a certain and established path. Universities Congress cannot decide and influenced in a cheat way in the student choice, due to is a void of liberty and personal decision which every student has the right to. Moreover, it is necessary the contribution of universities for helping to explore and find new and more attractive ways of learning and work, educational institutions still and will be playing an important role in the society, so has the responsibility to teach principles and respect every decision of their alumnus. 

There is also exist the case in which, dissuading young people to follow specific fields might help them to have a better future with better opportunities, in other words, universities may help to introduce new students and future workers, thinking in the needs of the future society, where maybe some professions or   will disappear or will be obsolete and antique, in this case, when an institution is looking for an objective and social aim instead a subjective one, it does not matter the way when the goal is justified.

Educational institutions have to look for the best and trying to reach the most acceptable outcomes but respecting the liberty for students' choice.

Edited by victor.1234

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Hi Victor! Here's some advice:

1) Pump up your content. The AWA is graded by the computer first, and as frustrating as it is, the computer more positively grades those essays that follow a 5-6 paragraph structure. I would dissuade you from having only one-sentence paragraphs.

2) Some sentences are hard to comprehend/follow (ex. "Universities Congress cannot decide and influenced in a cheat way in the student choice, due to is a void of liberty and personal decision which every student has the right to."). Make sure that you save some time at the end (~5 mins) to re-check your sentence structure and make sure things make sense.

3) Your entire 3rd paragraph is a run-on sentence. Make sure you are writing complex sentences that still follow a sound grammatical structure.

4) Overall, your wording and sentence structure make it too difficult to follow your ideas and parse out your supporting evidence. If it makes it easier, try not to focus on writing wordy, eloquent sentences and instead, focus on conveying your idea clearly and succinctly. For the essay, you want to follow a structure similar to below:

Par. 1: 

-Re-state questions

-Explain your position (agree, disagree, agree/disagree with qualifications)

-Acknowledge opposite position, but explain why that is ultimately a misguided position

Par 2-4/5:

-Support statement (i.e. example from history, art, personal experiences, etc)

-Supporting evidence for statement

-Acknowledge opposing evidence and explain why it doesn't work

-Evidence how these points relate to question & main position

Par 5/6:

-Tie all stated evidence together

-Re-state position and why it is the "best" position.

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