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*I is stressed* venting thread for Fall 2020 Applicants


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Hi everyone! I just wanted to offer some encouragement during this super stressful, ridiculous process. This is my third time applying for programs. The first time, fresh out of undergrad but fee

So I think I will propose research to see the prevalence of psychiatric disorders caused by PhD application process. 

I’m thinking of pulling a “George” & just showing up on interview day at my #1 school & acting like I was invited. 

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I'm really starting to get worried overall. I have one interview weekend coming up but got rejected from my top choice school that seemed like a very promising acceptance due to all the interviews and communications I had with PI/faculty/students so hopes aren't too high. This is my second time applying, though the most serious as now I will be graduating with an MA in May, and I'm scared this isn't the right decision.

I have such a deep passion for my area of study but these rolling rejections and a negative direct supervisor of my thesis have been haunting me. It's hard for me to write my thesis/do the remaining school work to graduate/teach my class I'm TA-ing for/and even begin to prep for the interview that I do have coming up since I'm starting to feel like someone else more deserving should be in that spot instead of me.

Unsure how to boost up my work ethic again. Is this what burnout really is?! I've never truly experienced it.

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5 hours ago, neuromorgan said:

I'm really starting to get worried overall. I have one interview weekend coming up but got rejected from my top choice school that seemed like a very promising acceptance due to all the interviews and communications I had with PI/faculty/students so hopes aren't too high. This is my second time applying, though the most serious as now I will be graduating with an MA in May, and I'm scared this isn't the right decision.

I have such a deep passion for my area of study but these rolling rejections and a negative direct supervisor of my thesis have been haunting me. It's hard for me to write my thesis/do the remaining school work to graduate/teach my class I'm TA-ing for/and even begin to prep for the interview that I do have coming up since I'm starting to feel like someone else more deserving should be in that spot instead of me.

Unsure how to boost up my work ethic again. Is this what burnout really is?! I've never truly experienced it.

(hugs you) 🥺

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On 2/15/2020 at 12:53 AM, yikespsych said:

I haven't received anything... is this for clinical?

Yes, it's for clinical. I really don't know why I received it though so hard to tell what it means and whether it's good or bad 🤷‍♀️ 

 

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11 hours ago, neuromorgan said:

I'm really starting to get worried overall. I have one interview weekend coming up but got rejected from my top choice school that seemed like a very promising acceptance due to all the interviews and communications I had with PI/faculty/students so hopes aren't too high. This is my second time applying, though the most serious as now I will be graduating with an MA in May, and I'm scared this isn't the right decision.

I have such a deep passion for my area of study but these rolling rejections and a negative direct supervisor of my thesis have been haunting me. It's hard for me to write my thesis/do the remaining school work to graduate/teach my class I'm TA-ing for/and even begin to prep for the interview that I do have coming up since I'm starting to feel like someone else more deserving should be in that spot instead of me.

Unsure how to boost up my work ethic again. Is this what burnout really is?! I've never truly experienced it.

I'm so sorry everything is lining up like this. It sounds like you are doing so much, and it is really stressful and a lot. I'm rooting for you!

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This is not my first go at this and I am super grateful to have been accepted to the 4 programs that I interviewed for. I’m still waiting for funding information so I haven’t made a decision yet, but I am surprised at how stressful this is! I thought I would feel relieved at this point. Anyone else married or in a committed relationship during this process? I feel so much more pressure because we need to choose a place that works for the both of us. I can’t wait until we know for sure!

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57 minutes ago, PumaDuty said:

This is not my first go at this and I am super grateful to have been accepted to the 4 programs that I interviewed for. I’m still waiting for funding information so I haven’t made a decision yet, but I am surprised at how stressful this is! I thought I would feel relieved at this point. Anyone else married or in a committed relationship during this process? I feel so much more pressure because we need to choose a place that works for the both of us. I can’t wait until we know for sure!

I’m on the same boat as you, got accepted at all locations I interviewed and haven’t received funding information. I made the choice with my wife that we will take my top choice based on fit and location. The funding is there so whether one place gives +100 or w/e on the stipend, I still want to choose my top choice. Now, I don’t mind accepting prior funding info because this is a top R1 program and guarantees full funding so i guess I’m in a unique position

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1 hour ago, PumaDuty said:

This is not my first go at this and I am super grateful to have been accepted to the 4 programs that I interviewed for. I’m still waiting for funding information so I haven’t made a decision yet, but I am surprised at how stressful this is! I thought I would feel relieved at this point. Anyone else married or in a committed relationship during this process? I feel so much more pressure because we need to choose a place that works for the both of us. I can’t wait until we know for sure!

Yes the double pressure is incredible! Fortunately of the places left to hear from we would still be in the same state or region but it’s still nerve wracking. Congratulations on the acceptances though!

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1 hour ago, Itzik said:

I’m on the same boat as you, got accepted at all locations I interviewed and haven’t received funding information. I made the choice with my wife that we will take my top choice based on fit and location. The funding is there so whether one place gives +100 or w/e on the stipend, I still want to choose my top choice. Now, I don’t mind accepting prior funding info because this is a top R1 program and guarantees full funding so i guess I’m in a unique position

It's great that you all made that decision. I'm in a place where I'm offered full-funding at 2 programs, but I am waiting to learn about funding from my top choice. My husband will be supporting us financially since I'll no longer be working. We want to make sure that we are in a location that also makes sense for his field of work. I want to make sure that we are making the right choice so that neither of us holds any resentment, since we'll be there for quite some time. Quality of life is so important these days! Lol

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36 minutes ago, Ppkitty said:

Yes the double pressure is incredible! Fortunately of the places left to hear from we would still be in the same state or region but it’s still nerve wracking. Congratulations on the acceptances though!

Thank you and that's great! We aren't necessarily tied down to any area, so I applied all over the country!

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2 hours ago, PumaDuty said:

This is not my first go at this and I am super grateful to have been accepted to the 4 programs that I interviewed for. I’m still waiting for funding information so I haven’t made a decision yet, but I am surprised at how stressful this is! I thought I would feel relieved at this point. Anyone else married or in a committed relationship during this process? I feel so much more pressure because we need to choose a place that works for the both of us. I can’t wait until we know for sure!

Yes! My husband is also applying for PhDs, although in a different field. We applied to the same schools or schools that were close to each other. By some frigging miracle, it looks like it might work out for us. He got accepted to the school I *just* interviewed at.

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52 minutes ago, sparrow123 said:

Yes! My husband is also applying for PhDs, although in a different field. We applied to the same schools or schools that were close to each other. By some frigging miracle, it looks like it might work out for us. He got accepted to the school I *just* interviewed at.

That's awesome. I hope it works out for you!

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4 hours ago, PumaDuty said:

Anyone else married or in a committed relationship during this process? I feel so much more pressure because we need to choose a place that works for the both of us. I can’t wait until we know for sure!

Yes! And my spouse can only transfer to a handful of locations in the Midwest only. It made it very difficult to find programs to apply to that were also a good fit. I am still waiting for financial info, so am not celebrating quite yet, but I was accepted to the program that out of those I applied to is actually (I feel) the best fit for research/client focus for me and is in the heart of his company's territory (as in the corporate office is just two hours away and there are a dozen locations to within an hour of the university- so the chances of him being able to transfer laterally are good). It's sucked a bit, because it meant I couldn't apply to some programs I would have loved to (for example: the professor who literally wrote the book on the integrated therapy style I use invited me to apply to their program as their mentee.... but it's several states away from the nearest location my spouse could transfer to).

It is a ton of pressure to try and make it work out, but it's important to us that we do. You are not alone in this!

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11 minutes ago, PsyZei said:

Yes! And my spouse can only transfer to a handful of locations in the Midwest only. It made it very difficult to find programs to apply to that were also a good fit. I am still waiting for financial info, so am not celebrating quite yet, but I was accepted to the program that out of those I applied to is actually (I feel) the best fit for research/client focus for me and is in the heart of his company's territory (as in the corporate office is just two hours away and there are a dozen locations to within an hour of the university- so the chances of him being able to transfer laterally are good). It's sucked a bit, because it meant I couldn't apply to some programs I would have loved to (for example: the professor who literally wrote the book on the integrated therapy style I use invited me to apply to their program as their mentee.... but it's several states away from the nearest location my spouse could transfer to).

It is a ton of pressure to try and make it work out, but it's important to us that we do. You are not alone in this!

It really is! My situation last year was picking big population metropolitan area so my wife can have a vast amount of opportunities. We learned the hard way that it was a bad idea and I didn’t get in anywhere. Almost broke my confidence but thankfully this year proved that I can succeed in this field and I was accepted to numerous places so we had a choice. 

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6 hours ago, PumaDuty said:

This is not my first go at this and I am super grateful to have been accepted to the 4 programs that I interviewed for. I’m still waiting for funding information so I haven’t made a decision yet, but I am surprised at how stressful this is! I thought I would feel relieved at this point. Anyone else married or in a committed relationship during this process? I feel so much more pressure because we need to choose a place that works for the both of us. I can’t wait until we know for sure!

Yes, but my partner is in his final year of medical school so it makes it even worse because he will just be slotted into a location because of the match system. Luckily the school I will be attending in the fall is pretty central (located in a big city) but it's still nerve wracking!  

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Created just an account just to post this: I had an interview this weekend for my top school and there were SEVEN people being interviewed to work with my desired PI, including myself. This isn't taking into consideration that they had a second interview day, so there were likely more potential students that were interviewed the day I didn't attend. I have faith in my abilities and how I presented myself, but it also sucked knowing that I still had so many people to compete against. It's my first year applying, and I'm not too familiar with how the process works, but from scouring these forums I'm led to believe that this situation isn't typical.

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10 hours ago, stressssed said:

Created just an account just to post this: I had an interview this weekend for my top school and there were SEVEN people being interviewed to work with my desired PI, including myself. This isn't taking into consideration that they had a second interview day, so there were likely more potential students that were interviewed the day I didn't attend. I have faith in my abilities and how I presented myself, but it also sucked knowing that I still had so many people to compete against. It's my first year applying, and I'm not too familiar with how the process works, but from scouring these forums I'm led to believe that this situation isn't typical.

This seriously just blows. I don't understand this from POIs, really. I mean you can always weed out match with candidates from prelim Skype interviews. Why do they have to have 7+ people incur the expenses of travelling, missing work/school and everything else, when you only have one spot? It just seems excessive to me and not really aware of their own privilege. It also gets the hopes up of all these great applicants, and it makes it harder to choose for the POI.

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14 hours ago, stressssed said:

Created just an account just to post this: I had an interview this weekend for my top school and there were SEVEN people being interviewed to work with my desired PI, including myself. This isn't taking into consideration that they had a second interview day, so there were likely more potential students that were interviewed the day I didn't attend. I have faith in my abilities and how I presented myself, but it also sucked knowing that I still had so many people to compete against. It's my first year applying, and I'm not too familiar with how the process works, but from scouring these forums I'm led to believe that this situation isn't typical.

Any chance they’re planning to accept more than 1 student? 

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14 hours ago, stressssed said:

Created just an account just to post this: I had an interview this weekend for my top school and there were SEVEN people being interviewed to work with my desired PI, including myself. This isn't taking into consideration that they had a second interview day, so there were likely more potential students that were interviewed the day I didn't attend. I have faith in my abilities and how I presented myself, but it also sucked knowing that I still had so many people to compete against. It's my first year applying, and I'm not too familiar with how the process works, but from scouring these forums I'm led to believe that this situation isn't typical.

Yeah it definitely sucks. For my 2 top schools there were 9 and 12 people being interviewed for one spot 🤦🏾‍♀️

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15 hours ago, stressssed said:

Created just an account just to post this: I had an interview this weekend for my top school and there were SEVEN people being interviewed to work with my desired PI, including myself. This isn't taking into consideration that they had a second interview day, so there were likely more potential students that were interviewed the day I didn't attend. I have faith in my abilities and how I presented myself, but it also sucked knowing that I still had so many people to compete against. It's my first year applying, and I'm not too familiar with how the process works, but from scouring these forums I'm led to believe that this situation isn't typical.

Idk why everyone is saying this isn’t typical lol. This is exactly how my experience is. You prob did not catch potential Skype interviews in your number as well. On average, based on my experience, POI’s look at 6-7 people and sometimes go back into the applicant pool. That’s life tho. They have one spot every year typically and they are trying to make the right choice and see if you are a fit. In my experience, I can’t tell you how many times  people interview poorly or socially and essentially take themselves out of the running. So more times then not, you need to make an impact, you need to be unique and you need to match well. The other applicants don’t matter and that’s why you shouldn’t treat it like competition, even if they are going for your POI.

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18 minutes ago, Itzik said:

Idk why everyone is saying this isn’t typical lol. This is exactly how my experience is. You prob did not catch potential Skype interviews in your number as well. On average, based on my experience, POI’s look at 6-7 people and sometimes go back into the applicant pool. That’s life tho. They have one spot every year typically and they are trying to make the right choice and see if you are a fit. In my experience, I can’t tell you how many times  people interview poorly or socially and essentially take themselves out of the running. So more times then not, you need to make an impact, you need to be unique and you need to match well. The other applicants don’t matter and that’s why you shouldn’t treat it like competition, even if they are going for your POI.

That's pretty intense. None of mine had more than 4-5. 

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2 hours ago, SoundofSilence said:

I can't even... But why? what's the point?

It's probably for the same reason that we all apply to so many places. They want to make sure they have options and find the best fit candidate, and for some that's hard to do over Skype. Definitely frustrating! But I kind of get it. I was at an interview where there were 6 of us for one slot and I got waitlisted. But that just means the PI felt a stronger connection with someone else, so what can you do.

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