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*I is stressed* venting thread for Fall 2020 Applicants

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3 minutes ago, 379337933793 said:

I had a similar experience with one of my interviews. The whole experience was bizarre/Lynchian/unsettling. However, I feel like it was good to see what a 'bad' (for me) program looks like in comparison to my other interviews. 

It's been a month since my top choice interview and I haven't heard anything or seen anything on this website so I'm beginning to think I'll need to apply again...how I will stay motivated is a mystery. I've always been very active and self motivated but I think this might be the first time in my life I'm experiencing burnout. A big concern is figuring out what to do for the next year to strengthen an application. I've started applying for different full time jobs on the assumption I'm not getting in this round :(

This entire last paragraph is exactly how I'm feeling. You're not alone in that. I wish you all the best!

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5 minutes ago, Oluwachristabel said:

No news could be good news. I think you should bite the bullet and email the DCT.

Yeah, I think I will if I don't hear anything in the upcoming work week. 

It's tricky, because if I am not getting into a program then I want to start a new day job ASAP. To me it seems like I should assume the worst, start the job interviewing/applying process now on the assumption it'll take at least a month, and hopefully by the time I'm getting job offers I have more clarity about grad school. Not ideal by any means. 

I've started explaining this process to people as applying for 1 spot out of hundreds of applicants (which is really what it is). I'm sad to think of how much people who don't grasp the true level of competition are going to judge me if I don't get in. 

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52 minutes ago, Itzik said:

I feel your pain. I guess how I stayed motivated was I saw incremental progress through each cycle 

1st: no interviews 5 programs

2nd: 3 interviews 10 programs

3rd 9 interviews 4 acceptances 20 programs

also it’s important to maybe apply to programs that’s aren’t as ideal as fully funded to raise your chances of getting in

 

Congratulations! Third time’s the charm Seeing your success is certainly helpful. What did you do differently between cycles two and three?

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50 minutes ago, 379337933793 said:

I had a similar experience with one of my interviews. The whole experience was bizarre/Lynchian/unsettling. However, I feel like it was good to see what a 'bad' (for me) program looks like in comparison to my other interviews. 

It's been a month since my top choice interview and I haven't heard anything or seen anything on this website so I'm beginning to think I'll need to apply again...how I will stay motivated is a mystery. I've always been very active and self motivated but I think this might be the first time in my life I'm experiencing burnout. A big concern is figuring out what to do for the next year to strengthen an application. I've started applying for different full time jobs on the assumption I'm not getting in this round :(

Burnout is the best word to describe this sentiment. It’s almost as though the assumption of not getting in is more intense and nerve-racking than an actual rejection letter. Best of luck to you.

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3 hours ago, 379337933793 said:

Yeah, I think I will if I don't hear anything in the upcoming work week. 

It's tricky, because if I am not getting into a program then I want to start a new day job ASAP. To me it seems like I should assume the worst, start the job interviewing/applying process now on the assumption it'll take at least a month, and hopefully by the time I'm getting job offers I have more clarity about grad school. Not ideal by any means. 

I've started explaining this process to people as applying for 1 spot out of hundreds of applicants (which is really what it is). I'm sad to think of how much people who don't grasp the true level of competition are going to judge me if I don't get in. 

I get it, the job thing and I'm also looking at starting another job asap if this doesn't work out. 

Other people won't understand it, though and that's okay. They will be fine.  Let them judge away, it's better you tried than not at all. Hope you get in. xx

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4 hours ago, Psychedbeyondrepair said:

Congratulations! Third time’s the charm Seeing your success is certainly helpful. What did you do differently between cycles two and three?

It’s kind of long. If you want to know you can message me

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18 minutes ago, teenygreeny said:

Oh boy, just got an email from my POI who I interviewed with 1.5 weeks ago asking if I have time tomorrow to chat briefly...anyone have any insight on if this is good or bad? Heart is POUNDING.

That sounds like good news to me :)

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19 minutes ago, teenygreeny said:

Oh boy, just got an email from my POI who I interviewed with 1.5 weeks ago asking if I have time tomorrow to chat briefly...anyone have any insight on if this is good or bad? Heart is POUNDING.

^ i agree, sounds promising!! keeping my fingers crossed for you🤞🏽

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24 minutes ago, teenygreeny said:

Oh boy, just got an email from my POI who I interviewed with 1.5 weeks ago asking if I have time tomorrow to chat briefly...anyone have any insight on if this is good or bad? Heart is POUNDING.

Definitely promising! This has happened to me twice and both were acceptances :). Keep us updated!!

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1 hour ago, teenygreeny said:

Oh boy, just got an email from my POI who I interviewed with 1.5 weeks ago asking if I have time tomorrow to chat briefly...anyone have any insight on if this is good or bad? Heart is POUNDING.

Also how I heard about my acceptance (same time frame as well)! The way I see it its very unlikely they would take time out of their day to reject you. High hopes for you - good luck!!

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Hi All, 

Starting to feel stressed post interviews. I had 8 interview invitations, which seems like a good number. So far one school rejected me and another school the POI isn't taking a student anymore. Haven't heard anything from the other 6 schools post interview. On gradcafe I've seen that some people have gotten waitlisted or rejected from my remaining sites, but not really any acceptances. I'm thinking I'm an alternate choice at many of these sites. What thoughts do you guys have on my standing/chances?  This process is draining I guess, I'll just have to keep waiting. 

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My interview with my top school was amazing. I loved the school even more than when I applied.

Now I want to get in even more and that makes me petrified. I'm afraid of the crash if I don't get in.

Fadalud! 😭

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2 minutes ago, teenygreeny said:

Sadly it was bad news! But it was an insightful conversation. Encouraged me to reapply next year if she has an opening.

Seriously!? Give some details. What program would do that. I thought it was guaranteed an offer. I’m surprised the POI had to in the schedule to even call you to reject you. No waitlist either?

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30 minutes ago, Itzik said:

Seriously!? Give some details. What program would do that. I thought it was guaranteed an offer. I’m surprised the POI had to in the schedule to even call you to reject you. No waitlist either?

I think she called out of courtesy, because we talked quite a bit throughout the interview process - it would’ve been highly impersonal/inconsistent to reject me over email. She’s a very kind person and we had a lot of good conversations. So I appreciate her making the time. There were only two candidates for her lab, so *technically* I’m waitlisted but I doubt the other applicant will reject the offer.

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Anyone else get their soul crushed when a potential PI talks about how they are SURE you have SO many offers and that they think you have an amazing career ahead of you...but then reject you? I know it's them trying to be nice, but when the reality is that I have no firm offers, it just adds insult to injury when they are asking me to contact them when I "decide where I'm going". 

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2 minutes ago, neuropsychnerd said:

Anyone else get their soul crushed when a potential PI talks about how they are SURE you have SO many offers and that they think you have an amazing career ahead of you...but then reject you? I know it's them trying to be nice, but when the reality is that I have no firm offers, it just adds insult to injury when they are asking me to contact them when I "decide where I'm going". 

EXACTLY, same!!

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10 minutes ago, neuropsychnerd said:

Anyone else get their soul crushed when a potential PI talks about how they are SURE you have SO many offers and that they think you have an amazing career ahead of you...but then reject you? I know it's them trying to be nice, but when the reality is that I have no firm offers, it just adds insult to injury when they are asking me to contact them when I "decide where I'm going". 

Literally was just told that as I was rejected an hour ago. Really hurts. Though I was honest about the reality of my situation with her, and she gave some good advice.

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10 minutes ago, neuropsychnerd said:

Anyone else get their soul crushed when a potential PI talks about how they are SURE you have SO many offers and that they think you have an amazing career ahead of you...but then reject you? I know it's them trying to be nice, but when the reality is that I have no firm offers, it just adds insult to injury when they are asking me to contact them when I "decide where I'm going". 

So much yes. As you said, I know they are trying to be cordial, but receiving these same sentiments multiple times last application cycle while getting no offers was pretty crushing. I have already promised to myself to never say this to an applicant if I'm ever a prof. 😅

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5 hours ago, neuropsychnerd said:

Anyone else get their soul crushed when a potential PI talks about how they are SURE you have SO many offers and that they think you have an amazing career ahead of you...but then reject you? I know it's them trying to be nice, but when the reality is that I have no firm offers, it just adds insult to injury when they are asking me to contact them when I "decide where I'm going". 

Never contact that PI again - that's your revenge 🤠

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23 hours ago, xChrisx said:

My interview with my top school was amazing. I loved the school even more than when I applied.

Now I want to get in even more and that makes me petrified. I'm afraid of the crash if I don't get in.

Fadalud! 😭

I feel you! I had an interview last week and COMPLETELY fell in love with the program and have been day dreaming about receiving a good call. So now if I get rejected the fall feels like it's going to kill me. Luckily I should hear by the end of the week, so at least I'll know sooner rather than later. Good luck to all of us!! 🤞

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