Can someone please review my AWA Argument Essay. Thanks for the help.

[orchimalik]

Prompt:

The following appeared as part of a business plan developed by the manager of the Rialto Movie Theater.

"Despite its downtown location, the Rialto Movie Theater, a local institution for five decades, must make big changes or close its doors forever. It should follow the example of the new Apex Theater in the mall outside of town. When the Apex opened last year, it featured a video arcade, plush carpeting and seats, and a state-of-the-art sound system. Furthermore, in a recent survey, over 85 percent of respondents reported that the high price of newly released movies prevents them from going to the movies more than five times per year. Thus, if the Rialto intends to hold on to its share of a decreasing pool of moviegoers, it must offer the same features as Apex."

 

answer:

 

In the business plan, the manager of Rialto Movie Theater concludes that if the movie theatre provide same amenities like Apex movie theater, they can increase the share. The author comes to this conclusion based on several premises, which if correct, could indicate that the author’s contention holds water. The author’s assertion might be valid, but before the persuasiveness of the recommendation can be properly be measured, the author should answer the following three questions.

First of all, the author assumes that location is the main factor for all business institutes which are located in downtown area, make profit which might not be the case. Perhaps the institutes are successful because the employees of institutes are well mannered and good with their way of words. In addition, the other theater or business institutes are giving different attractive incentives or gifts to encourage client to get service from them. These explanations highly diminish the validity of authors contention.

Moreover, the authors presume without justification that the 85 percent respondent who participate in the survey are significant. However, this might be incorrect. For instance, the total population who participate in the survey are only 5 people, so the number of people who asserts that high movie price is main reason behind their reluctance, is not significant enough. Furthermore, the people who participate in the survey, all live below the poverty line which don’t represent the people of whole area. If these scenarios are correct, The author assertion is highly jeopardized.

Finally the author assumes that the establishment of same feature as Apex, will increase the share of the theater which might not be true. It is possible that the  game arcade and plush carpeting is as quality of Apex. Additionally, the main reason behind Apex’s success is the big social social media promotion of their brand name. If either of this cases are true the author’s assertion doesn’t hold water.

To recapitulate, the central claim of author might be true, but to bolster the persuasiveness of the contention he must address the above  questions.