RestorationJunkie Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 -You didn't want to go there anyway. -You'll get in somewhere else. -That just means you weren't meant to go there. Any more? schoolpsych_hopeful and drumms9980 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperPiePie Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 So what are you supposed to say then? -Sorry. -I know how you feel. -Don't kill yourself. digitality, drumms9980 and helloall 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LJK Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 So what are you supposed to say then? My roommates and I just discussed this. We decided that you don't say anything. You give them a hug, a pint of Ben & Jerry's, and complete control of the remote for the day/night. Neuronista, ladybug3, hitomimay and 17 others 20 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DamianD Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 -You didn't want to go there anyway. -You'll get in somewhere else. -That just means you weren't meant to go there. These are all especially very hateful to say when somebody has been rejected by their preferred school. I'll probably start crying if that happens and somebody dumps the third line in my face... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newms Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I can't imagine how bad you must feel, how are you holding up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waddle Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Things not to say/do: Well, it's not like you had a shot anyways.Reality check, eh?How does that feel, mate?<point and laugh>Cool story, bro.So where else did you get rejected from?Even <insert names of other people they know> got into there! And I thought you were better than them! Aztecson23, ShaEnYsi, aberrant and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RestorationJunkie Posted February 3, 2011 Author Share Posted February 3, 2011 I can't imagine how bad you must feel, how are you holding up? I'm okay. Not too surprised, but definitely disappointed. Thanks for asking newms 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thanks4Downvoting Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Cool story, bro. - My favorite RestorationJunkie, drumms9980, the poisoned pawn and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EricaMarie Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 "Well this just means you can get a real job and become a productive member of society." <------my parents, I'm sure. schoolpsych_hopeful, p4lm0r3, BreathingSister and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
space-cat Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 This just happened to a (ridiculously qualified) friend of mine earlier today. I went with "That doesn't make a damn bit of sense" and "I have bourbon in my desk." I honestly don't know what I'd want to hear if/when this happens to me. I'm a talker, so I'd probably just want someone to nod sympathetically while I whine and cry for an hour. And yeah, I hate all that "that just means it wasn't meant to happen" bullshit, too. Uh, thanks. Mind telling me what is meant to happen? Hillary Emick, UrbanWonk, BreathingSister and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DamianD Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Mind telling me what is meant to happen? The all-knowing and powerful prophets of the adcoms will tell you... soon.... hitomimay 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anthropologygeek Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Whatever you do don't say well you really didn't want to go there did you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lechatgris Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 After last year's all-around rejections, I think the worst were the myriad variations of: "So, what are you going to do?" and "Oh, well you have a 'plan B,' right?" "You didn't get in anywhere? Why?" As well as anything religious/ shamelessly repeated from a motivational poster. I fully agree with the whole "not meant to be" thing--even the thoughtless passive voice propels you into the vague abyss of misery. ladybug3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irishlibra Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 - Don't worry, I heard McDonald's is hiring. - Well, there's always next year Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garbledy Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 "... but X and Y got in..... " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garbledy Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 This just happened to a (ridiculously qualified) friend of mine earlier today. I went with "That doesn't make a damn bit of sense" and "I have bourbon in my desk." I honestly don't know what I'd want to hear if/when this happens to me. I'm a talker, so I'd probably just want someone to nod sympathetically while I whine and cry for an hour. You did well - this is probably EXACTLY what I'd want to hear. Especially the latter. And I wouldn't want a hug. That would make me feel pitiful. psych21 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flotsam Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Yeah, it probably isn't too good to say- "What hurts the most, makes us stronger." "Are you sure you filled out all the essays?" "The program probably bites anyway." "Look at all the money you just saved." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogbert Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 "oh well, a PhD is so much work anyways...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeamCoco-Bollo Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 My roommates and I just discussed this. We decided that you don't say anything. You give them a hug, a pint of Ben & Jerry's, and complete control of the remote for the day/night. And tequila. You forgot the tequila. Aztecson23 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RestorationJunkie Posted February 3, 2011 Author Share Posted February 3, 2011 From a parent: "You're not as disappointed as I am." Uh, yes, I think I probably am. Jeppe, ShaEnYsi and PhDreaming 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golden Monkey Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 "The weather sucks there anyway," which is true and is what I will tell myself if I don't get in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
balderdash Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I think the best response is really just "Yeah, but who wants to go to University X anyway." For instance, a professor of mine was rejected to Harvard's PhD program way back in the 60s. He went to UWisc-Madison instead, eventually got pretty established in the field, and Harvard offered him a job. He promptly turned it down. About 20 years later, they offered him a position again, this time tenured, and he turned them down again. I still think it's funny because he's always like "look, I have my life here now, and I'm not going to change everything just to go teach there. They had their chance." Kitkat, newkidontheblock and p4lm0r3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medievalmaniac Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 The two I hate the most from anyone, anytime are : "Don't worry, you'll get in somewhere" and "I know how you feel". In fact, I recommend we strike "I know how you feel" from ANY conversation, ever, about anything. What a dumb thing to say, when there is no way you can possibly know how another person feels. Something like, "I know how that feels" or "I can imagine that feels..." followed by a pertinent life-experience in similar vein MIGHT fly, but then again - if I'm wallowing, it's my turn to wallow, I am soooo not interested in your pity party at that point. The most helpful and/or appreciated comments I have received in this situation are "I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help you out?" and my very favorite, ever: "Those a**holes. How dare they reject you! Who the hell are they accepting, then? F**k them." I actually laughed...and that came from a tenured prof who wrote a rec for me in a prior application cycle, lolol. newms, psych21, bourbon and 7 others 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newms Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 "Those a**holes. How dare they reject you! Who the hell are they accepting, then? F**k them." I. love. this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medievalmaniac Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I. love. this! I loved that professor. Never once minced words on anything, and you cannot imagine how much better I felt at such indignation on my behalf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now