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Things not to say to someone who has just been rejected by their dream school


RestorationJunkie

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No joke, I got rejected from Stanford today, and this was the fb message my father sent me:

"Hey .... sorry (actually glad) to hear about Stanford. I'm pulling for Harvard. I hated Stanford when I visited there and it's so far away."

Oh, Harvard? Really? Why didn't you mention. I HAD NO IDEA. And yeah, you're right, I'm glad I didn't get into the best African politics program in the country too, for that would have meant you'd have to actually travel to see me. I really have no idea why I even applied.

Edited by balderdash
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No joke, I got rejected from Stanford today, and this was the fb message my father sent me:

"Hey .... sorry (actually glad) to hear about Stanford. I'm pulling for Harvard. I hated Stanford when I visited there and it's so far away."

Oh, Harvard? Really? Why didn't you mention. I HAD NO IDEA. And yeah, you're right, I'm glad I didn't get into the best African politics program in the country too, for that would have meant you'd have to actually travel to see me. I really have no idea why I even applied.

I applied to Stanford, too .. and if I don't get in, that is EXACTLY what my parents will say. They live in New York, and when I was in college in Boston they came to visit me 3 times in 4 years. Yes, three times. If I go to Stanford, I might as well be located in Zimbabwe because I'll never see my parents.

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No joke, I got rejected from Stanford today, and this was the fb message my father sent me:

"Hey .... sorry (actually glad) to hear about Stanford. I'm pulling for Harvard. I hated Stanford when I visited there and it's so far away."

Oh, Harvard? Really? Why didn't you mention. I HAD NO IDEA. And yeah, you're right, I'm glad I didn't get into the best African politics program in the country too, for that would have meant you'd have to actually travel to see me. I really have no idea why I even applied.

My parents live in upstate NY, and I live in NYC. The farthest I applied is the mid-west (logistics of where my husband could get a job, etc. played into my app process). At any rate, there were some issues where ETS didn't send my GRE scores to Indiana, and I was complaining to my mom about it.

She says: "Good. Hopefully now you won't get in."

Now, I understand she doesn't want me to move far away, but it was so incredibly insulting and hurtful for her to hope that I don't even get accepted. In terms of that kind of response, I understand how you might feel. :(

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I love "Their loss!" as a response, because it's flattering, but not gushy. *grin* I hate "It's all for the best" and I particularly hate any version of "I/noone/your friends didn't expect you to get in/thought it was a long shot/thought you were being unrealistic."

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Ohhh.... anything, anything, anything from my family!

And I do have mixed feelings about this: "Well, consider this as a mixed blessing." Form one of my professors/LOR writers. I think I wanted to scream at her because it struck me that she didn't work hard enough at her letters to get me accepted! :) Now I have to say that she's right as I am enjoying my gap year... If she hadn't written my LORs, I wouldn't have put so much emotional weight in this statement.

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  • 2 weeks later...

"You know, you never know what you're going to do. My brother couldn't find a job after he got his MFA, and he ended up driving a truck for a few years. You know, truck drivers make a lot of money."

That wasn't even sarcasm. That was an attempt at making me feel better. What?

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