linden Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Deleted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limeinthecoconut Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I can understand what you are facing. Somehow, people around me seem to think that it's easy-peasy to get into graduate school. In my case, I think I'll be happy to just get into one school, any school. If I don't, I think I'll hide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ec86 Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I haven't told anyone my top choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreams Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 We are all unsuccessful at one thing or another at some point in our lives. Why hide it? If any of the schools I applied to rejected me, I would not lie about it. I can accept that I will not get everything I want in life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t_ruth Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I'm not yet sure what my top choice is, but the 'best' school I applied to is such a stretch it would be great if I got in, but I wouldn't fake it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ohheygradschool Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Somehow I don't think I'd be convincing if I were to lie. Because really, who turns down Yale? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linden Posted January 15, 2009 Author Share Posted January 15, 2009 Deleted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IvyHope Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Seems sort of silly to me. I mean, I think bubo has a point- who turns down their top choice? Even if they are not offered funding? Even if you do make up a story about getting in without funding, people will believe what they want. But, really, some of these schools are so ridiculously competitive that it would be really hard to understand why one would be embarrassed about not getting accepted. The program I applied to at Stanford (t_ruth?) admits 10 or so out of 500+ applicants...? Would I feel ashamed about not getting admitted? No. It's not all that different than buying a lotto ticket, for crying out loud. I, both times I have done this, have kept it entirely to myself, even from my family. That way if I am rejected across the board, no one will be the wiser. ;-) That's the superstitious piece of me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limeinthecoconut Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Haha.. I might seem like I'm lying, though. Harvard is not my top choice. But no, I won't lie. However, if I get rejected everywhere, as mentioned, I will go into hiding for a bit. I don't see a point in having to deal with nosy people who don't actually care when I am down, I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t_ruth Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 yep, was referring to Stanford That's the kind of place where if you get it, you scream from the rooftops but if you don't, well, it really isn't too bad a reflection on you. I wish I hadn't told anyone I was applying anywhere at all... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IvyHope Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I wish I hadn't told anyone I was applying anywhere at all... You have a family, though. A bit harder to keep things hidden from a spouse. That's the beauty of being a late-20s spinster, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limeinthecoconut Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Seems sort of silly to me. I mean, I think bubo has a point- who turns down their top choice? Even if they are not offered funding? Even if you do make up a story about getting in without funding, people will believe what they want. But, really, some of these schools are so ridiculously competitive that it would be really hard to understand why one would be embarrassed about not getting accepted. The program I applied to at Stanford (t_ruth?) admits 10 or so out of 500+ applicants...? Would I feel ashamed about not getting admitted? No. It's not all that different than buying a lotto ticket, for crying out loud. I, both times I have done this, have kept it entirely to myself, even from my family. That way if I am rejected across the board, no one will be the wiser. ;-) That's the superstitious piece of me. Ah, you are lucky. I've had dozens of people extract the information out of me, even though I was unwilling to share it with some people. And in addition to that, even more people went around broadcasting the fact that I am applying (thanks .... not!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IvyHope Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Ah, you are lucky. I've had dozens of people extract the information out of me, even though I was unwilling to share it with some people. And in addition to that, even more people went around broadcasting the fact that I am applying (thanks .... not!). Yeah...a friend of mine made the mistake of telling a coworker, who broadcasted it to the staff at the Christmas party...she's been fighting for her job ever since. People are not so sensitive... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limeinthecoconut Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Yeah...a friend of mine made the mistake of telling a coworker, who broadcasted it to the staff at the Christmas party...she's been fighting for her job ever since. People are not so sensitive... Wow, that sucks. I hope your friend is okay. My indiscretion had no professional repercussions. Nevertheless, it has become a nuisance ever since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ohheygradschool Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I wish I hadn't told anyone I was applying anywhere at all... Yeah... When I told my family, they were like "oh! You're so smart! You'll get into Yale and Harvard and Penn and all those places! Cause that's where smart people go, right?" Ahhh, love them. Very sweet and flattering, but not exactly how it works. If I could do it over, I'd probably keep it to myself as much as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonights Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I handled this situation by not having a top choice. No, really. I would be equally thrilled to attend my top three schools. Now, if none of *them * admit me we'll have a problem. :wink: I would have loved to keep my application process a secret. As it is, my mom, partner, best friend, and everyone at my job know. I wouldn't have told my coworkers, but I completed my applications mostly at work and I couldn't hide why I was sweaty, panicky, and shuffling papers everywhere! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adaptations Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 A Few Points: First, I wouldn't lie about being rejected. Not only does being denied at a top school not reflect poorly on you, it would reflect poorly on your friends if they thought less of you because you weren't admitted. If your friends only want you for the reputation of the graduate school you will attend, your friends have issues. Second, a huge part of this process (at least for many of us) is swallowing our pride and handling the rejections. Many of us are used to a great deal of success (especially if you are the type of person who really has a shot at a top school), so perhaps this is a good learning experience for many people - rejection will happen - now learn to handle it. (Also, if you haven't experienced rejection, you should probably date more) On another issue, some people said they would still attend their top choice without funding, even if their #2, #3 or whatever gave them funding. From my experience, those of you with this luxury are in the minority. I certainly know I could not afford a 5-6 year Ph.D. program without funding, especially when you consider the likely future income as an academic. Furthermore, if the school is not willing to fund you, it is a good indicator of how you may be treated in the department. On the other hand, if the school is willing to invest in you, they have a much stronger incentive to make sure you succeed and have a positive experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drpsych Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Hmm.. I'm good at keeping secrets.. just not my own so I don't think I would fake it, but I did apply to different grad programs (diff field) a few years ago and I didn't get in (just waitlisted at two and they couldn't admit me cause of funding issues) and not everyone knows that actually :\ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAPoliSciPhD Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I WISH I could have kept it to myself but it's not practical - my mentor is one of my letters of rec and on top of that there were three professors who all got together and tried picking places for me to apply to! THEN on top of that my friends who are in my master's program are so interested bc they're doing this next year --- so even though I'm applying to so many freaking schools - these people can tell me ALL of them - they know exactly how many schools I've applied to I just don't don't don't don't don't want to strike out!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonights Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I don't want to strike out either, CAPoliSciPhD. That's my worst fear - only ten people besides me are invested in my admission (three of them being those who prepared my recommendations) and the thought of being rejected everywhere haunts me. It would suck for me, personally, being grad school is my dream. But it would be even worse because I would feel so ashamed and kind of like I let them down, even though I know perfectly well that this feeling is BS. I would be so proud to go to any of the programs I applied to, I wouldn't have to lie about being denied admission to my first choice - I will be so proud if somebody wants me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAPoliSciPhD Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Ditto Tonights -- to everything in your post.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miratrix Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I'm not even positive what my top choice is, but if the one I'm leaning toward rejects me, I'll probably come up with a rationale for why wherever I decide to go was actually my top choice, or would have been had I known more. And I will BELIEVE it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gadhelyn Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I have the perfect excuse if I don't get into my top choice. I can say I didn't like the prospect of living in Atlanta (although I'm 99% sure I'll go there anyway if they accept me!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linden Posted January 15, 2009 Author Share Posted January 15, 2009 Delete Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonights Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Well, to folks like us who love academia enough to want to throw ourselves upon its mercy, rejection can be a really hard blow. I feel like I'm having a love affair with the admissions committees. But we all just need to remember that there really is nothing to be ashamed of and no reason to lie. Especially in a year like this, where everything is overcompetitive and underfunded - I already know one of my schools wants me, but they told me baldly that the money isn't there. My friend, applying to economics ph.ds, told me a story that made me feel a little bit better. At an informational dinner at a VERY competitive program, one of the attendees did not know the difference between microeconomics and macroeconomics. She asked what the difference was right in the middle of a roomful of dumbfounded eggheads. Realizing that I'll be pitted against at least *some* folks like that makes me feel at least a wee bit better about my chances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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