Jump to content

Sh*t people say when you are applying to grad school


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 1.6k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

"RELAX. You'll get in everywhere!" My least favorite line ever

Real convo I had when I first started my PhD (paraphrased): Them: So, what do you do for a living? Me: I'm a PhD student here at the University in Department XYZ. Them: Oh, cool. So, you're g

People keep telling me, "You'll get in somewhere." For some reason that just makes me more frustrated and doesn't comfort me at all. So since I have no time to make a video about this. Plu

I either get the completely unhelpful "Oh, you'll get in somewhere" or "You're smart and have such and such experience, so you'll be fine". Neither of those actually helps relieve anxiety or critically improve my application. The only negative comment I get is from my mom. She likes to tell me to be realistic that I probably won't get in anywhere the first try. Thanks, mom.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks! Monorail Mikey wishes everyone the best!

People seem to think being on this website exacerbates the anxiety but I just think they don't fully understand the concept of solidarity. 

 

I misread that as "singularity." Completely changes the meaning...

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

"You're worried about getting in? What is it that you're studying again?"

"Theology."

"Theology? I can't imagine that a lot of people do that. It's probably pretty easy to get in. Don't worry about it."

Yeah, easy, of course. Nobody stops to think about the fact that the reason why so few people do PhDs in theology is because there's such little funding available in that field.

Link to post
Share on other sites

When I first mentioned applying for PhD programs, my boss and coworker insisted on explaining to me, over and over, that my company will pay for me to get a PhD part-time while working here full-time.  Why would I want to take a huge pay cut and go back to school full-time?

 

I said that I want to go into academia, which means I need teaching and research experience, which I would get during grad school through assistantships, which I can't get if I'm a part-time student.  Also, many programs don't take part-time students, and I have no interest in working on my PhD in the evenings for 8-10 years.  I like to leave at least a little bit of time free in the evenings to preserve the illusion that I have a social life.

 

Then they said, "But doesn't [not-very-good local school] have a program you want?  I'm sure they'd let you go part-time!  You could keep working here!  Do your dissertation on one of your work projects!"

 

I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying, "You don't understand.  I want to go back to school to get away from this job.  Being stuck here for 8-10 years while working on a PhD part-time in the evenings would be hell.  It's entirely possible I'm going to lose it and hurl my computer out the window like a discus before this fall, and that's only another six months!"

 

Then they said, "Well, I'm sure you'll get in everywhere," to which I did NOT reply (showing much restraint), "Even if I don't get in anywhere, I'm still getting the hell out of here!"

 

To clarify: I have other, much more noble reasons why I applied to grad school.  The fact that my job sucks was just an added motivator.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It's a little different, but now that I have acceptances I hate telling people because instead of a congratulations, they feel like they need to put in their 2 cents about which program they think is best. It's like they try to put this whole other stress of me making a decision. In the end it is about what is best for me and my family and I need to throw opinions aside unless they have genuine evidence or reasoning behind their opinions.

Link to post
Share on other sites

"Honey, I'm pretty sure you need your masters degree before you can apply for PhD programs."

 

Yeah, I've definitely heard variations on this one. Or there's, "Whoa! You're smart enough to skip your master's???" No, no... that isn't quite how it works...

Edited by RubyBright
Link to post
Share on other sites

On applying to PhD programs in Spanish:

 

"So you're gonna study the really advanced grammar, right?"

 

"About damn time. We were wondering when you were going to get your doctorate."

 

And:

Them: "So what are you going to study?"
Me: "Medieval Spanish Literature."

Them: "So is that, like, Mexican or..."

Link to post
Share on other sites

I either get the completely unhelpful "Oh, you'll get in somewhere" or "You're smart and have such and such experience, so you'll be fine". Neither of those actually helps relieve anxiety or critically improve my application. The only negative comment I get is from my mom. She likes to tell me to be realistic that I probably won't get in anywhere the first try. Thanks, mom.

 

Know the feeling. And my absolute favorite "It will all work out"

 

If you mean by it will all work out I continue working the job that I am and not pursuing the career that I want, then sure, I suppose it will. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Know the feeling. And my absolute favorite "It will all work out"

 

If you mean by it will all work out I continue working the job that I am and not pursuing the career that I want, then sure, I suppose it will. 

 

If my wonderful husband tells me ONE MORE TIME that "it will all work out" I'm going to have to demote him from partner to grit under my heel.  HA!  

 

I internally know it will, but it doesn't help me to hear that... while I'm sitting on NO communication thus far beyond "apps complete" or "notifications will begin mid-march" ... 

Link to post
Share on other sites

If my wonderful husband tells me ONE MORE TIME that "it will all work out" I'm going to have to demote him from partner to grit under my heel.  HA!  

 

I internally know it will, but it doesn't help me to hear that... while I'm sitting on NO communication thus far beyond "apps complete" or "notifications will begin mid-march" ... 

 

Yup. Or "it'll all be fine", or "well, just wait and see!".

Edited by jmarti37
Link to post
Share on other sites

It's a little different, but now that I have acceptances I hate telling people because instead of a congratulations, they feel like they need to put in their 2 cents about which program they think is best. It's like they try to put this whole other stress of me making a decision. In the end it is about what is best for me and my family and I need to throw opinions aside unless they have genuine evidence or reasoning behind their opinions.

 

This is happening to me too, and it's overwhelming. Like as soon as I get an offer, I am bombarded with people telling me what they think about the school and how they can't really see me there or think I should wait and see what else I get. I don't ever have a chance to tell anyone what I think about my offers because they jump right into what I should think. It's a big decision and I am not ready to make it based on what other people think about the school.

Link to post
Share on other sites

"Honey, I'm pretty sure you need your masters degree before you can apply for PhD programs."

 

 

Ugh, this so much. If I hear it one more time, worlds will end ><

 

Family also tends to swing between "oh, you're so smart, you're a shoo-in everywhere!" to "wellll...you should take [random course or hot temp job of the month], as a plan B [or C, or D...]". It's the 180 degree turn in the same damn conversation that puts me on edge

Link to post
Share on other sites

It's a little different, but now that I have acceptances I hate telling people because instead of a congratulations, they feel like they need to put in their 2 cents about which program they think is best. It's like they try to put this whole other stress of me making a decision. In the end it is about what is best for me and my family and I need to throw opinions aside unless they have genuine evidence or reasoning behind their opinions.

lol This times one thousand. Everyone thinks I should go to ASU because they are " close to Phoenix" instead of Iowa City, Tucson, or Gainesville (which are all apparently too far from civilization and not worth a look). And to top it off, upon hearing the news that I received a research fellowship at one of the schools I've been accepted to (that happens to be a 15 hour drive from home), my mom had responded that I'm "slowly killing" her. Thanks for the congratulations, mom!
Link to post
Share on other sites

lol This times one thousand. Everyone thinks I should go to ASU because they are " close to Phoenix" instead of Iowa City, Tucson, or Gainesville (which are all apparently too far from civilization and not worth a look). And to top it off, upon hearing the news that I received a research fellowship at one of the schools I've been accepted to (that happens to be a 15 hour drive from home), my mom had responded that I'm "slowly killing" her. Thanks for the congratulations, mom!

Yeah I have the same from my mom just saying that she is still holding out for school A over my choice of school B because its closer to my family and I've been in California for far too long!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah I have the same from my mom just saying that she is still holding out for school A over my choice of school B because its closer to my family and I've been in California for far too long!

 

I'm so glad I'm not the only experiencing this! The only reason my momma's top choice for me is the UW is because she'll still be somewhat close to me. I can't even explain to her that academics and such are really what matters.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Me: I'm going for my 2nd Masters in Social Welfare/Work to become a LCSW

 

random person (family/ old HS and undergrad friends):"Again?!...you're collecting those degrees I see!"

 

Me: *rolls eyes* Yea, I know what I want now. (and don't judge me, kthanksbye)

Link to post
Share on other sites

"You were like the smartest person in the whole school- why are you worried?"

 

"Are you going to start wearing long skirts and scarves and wearing your hair in a bun?"

 

And the one that drives me nuts- because he's still in control of rational thought is from my boyfriend:

 

Him: Are you checking all the websites again?

Me: Yea

Him: Didn't you check them right after dinner?

Me: Yea

Him: Do you really think someone is there updating their system at 11 pm?

Me: YEA!

Him: On Sunday?

Me: ......

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.