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Sh*t people say when you are applying to grad school

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"Worst case scenario, you can just retake the GRE and apply next year! GRE scores are very important!"

(after $1,000+ investment in the GRE)

 

Conversely, "Your scores are fine! GRE scores are garbage; some schools really don't care about them."

 

"Only three schools?  Is location really that important to you?"  

 

"Just don't think about hearing back from schools ... you'll be fine!!"  

 

OR, my friends who ARE applying to grad school "I just can't think about it or else it will occupy all of my time."  My response to them: "HOW do you NOT think about it??"

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"You worry too much about this. Just go to the university of life!!"

 

Wonderful life experiences are rewarding, no doubt, but my life choice is to go to grad school, not spend all my parents' money traveling the world.

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"Oh, you're going to grad school? Don't you want to make money?"

 

"Don't you want to get some real work experience?"

 

"More school?! You're insane!!"

 

Overheard conversation today: "I want to make money, settle down, have a family and enjoy my life... I don't want to waste it away getting more degrees."

 

I don't think people understand that graduate study takes serious hard work, you can get paid, and you can still live your life. Or that it can be a very fulfilling experience.

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"Well, there's always next year [to apply again]."

I don't know what compels people to say this, especially when I haven't even heard back from my schools yet. It's been highly discouraging, especially since NO, there ISN'T always next year, because I'm moving on if I don't get in this year. I can't help but feel a sliver of condescension. :(

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"Well, there's always next year [to apply again]."

I don't know what compels people to say this, especially when I haven't even heard back from my schools yet. It's been highly discouraging, especially since NO, there ISN'T always next year, because I'm moving on if I don't get in this year. I can't help but feel a sliver of condescension. :(

 

Agreed.  I know it's supposed to be reassuring, but it's still VERY tough to hear.  Perhaps because it echoes the notion of "Don't let it get to you." Don't let it get to me?  How? This is my passion and dream; if it is destroyed this year, you bet I'll be processing some very strong emotions for a while before I brush off and move forward.  It's so important to feel every emotion; there is so much emphasis on staying positive ALL the time, and it can be physically and emotionally damaging to keep that up all the time.  

 

So yes, while I know their intentions are good and that these folks love me so much, it does make me feel pressure to keep up a positive visage when I might be falling apart inside.  That being said, I've not been accepted or rejected anywhere yet!

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"Well, there's always next year [to apply again]."

I don't know what compels people to say this, especially when I haven't even heard back from my schools yet. It's been highly discouraging, especially since NO, there ISN'T always next year, because I'm moving on if I don't get in this year. I can't help but feel a sliver of condescension. :(

 

Ughh...this one kills me. Next year my a**! I'm not 22 anymore with years to spare. I will be gladly moving on with my life if I do not get accepted this year. 

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Needed to post this one from my mom:

 

Me: "Out of about 220 applicants, they only admit 10-20"

Mom: "You're gonna get in.  You're gonna get in somewhere."

Me: "Maybe .. I mean it's not like I applied to Stanford or Princeton or some place really highly ranked."

Mom: "You deserve to go to a place like that!!"

 

I. love. my. mom. =) 

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My mom:

 

 "You know [my alma mater] has one of the best programs for this in the country. You should apply there!"

 

 1. No it doesn't. 2. She knows I am only applying to schools in NYC and LA. Her alma mater is in southern Michigan. Even if I was applying to schools in Michigan, I wouldn't apply to that one (I'd apply to UofM!).

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When I tell my (big) family that my top choice USC just rejected me, first question from everyone was "Why?" or "How come?" Uhm I don't know, maybe they just don't want me or I wasn't good enough. How should I know? Then we settled on "It's too expensive to go there anyway. I have friends who have a (some huge number) debt when they graduate" (the program I'm applying to is fully funded for 5 years) and "They have too many Asians there already. They need other ethnicities to improve their diversity."

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I got my first two rejections on the same day and I made the mistake of texting my mom.

 

Mom: University X is stupid. University Y is a loser.

Me: No, they are actually really good schools...

Mom: Not without you. They are dumb. Their loss.

sigh.

 

I eventually told my roommates as well.

They all responded with things like "Wow, if you didn't get in, how does anyone get in?"

Well, other people have higher GPAs and more publications...

Edited by perfectionist

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"Are you sure you want to go to graduate school?"

 

Noooooo, I apply to graduate programs because it's fun.

 

This one is pretty good

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"A masters in education cannot be that hard to get into because you'll only be a teacher!"

 

Great. Thanks. Now if I don't get in, not only do I really suck at life, but if I do, I'll only be a teacher.

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"A masters in education cannot be that hard to get into because you'll only be a teacher!"

 

Great. Thanks. Now if I don't get in, not only do I really suck at life, but if I do, I'll only be a teacher.

 Unleash Taylor Mali on that person! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGKm201n-U4

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haha )

mine

First of all, I need to say that I am from Russia.

 

Went to my university to ask for transcripts. I wanted 20 copies. I applied to 14 schools but some of them wanted 2 copies. Besides, I wanted to have some extra copies just in case.

2 women in the office: Oh, 20??? You are applying to 20 schools??? hahaha, you don't think you will get in? it's just like please accept me somewhere, yeah? hahaha

Needless to say, I was standing near them during this speech. Said nothing in response.

 

Speaking with the dean also in my alma mater.

- I am applying to the PhD programs in the USA.

- What??? Are you going to sell your homeland???

 

Oh.my.God.

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 Wowwwwwwwwwwwwww! Loved this!

 

Thank you, I needed that right now. I hope you have a week filled with good karma. :)

 Thanks! Glad you liked it. The fact that so many people underestimate the importance of education and teachers in this country only underscores how very much we need teachers. And I'll take all of the good karma that I can get. :) 

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When I tell people I'm applying to graduate school for Social Work, I ACTUALLY got a reply from my oral surgeon right before I passed out.. "Well, somebody has got to do it."

Wowwwwww. Uneducated tard.

 

I don't understand how your oral surgeon implying he wouldn't go into social work makes him an "uneducated tard." 

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I don't understand how your oral surgeon implying he wouldn't go into social work makes him an "uneducated tard." 

 

Or why someone going into social work would use the pejorative "uneducated," "tard," or "uneducated tard."

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I'm re-applying to 5-/6-year programs this year after finishing an MA (in June), and usually what I hear is:

 

"Are you scared of the real world?"

"So you won't be done school until you're 30?" (Usually preceded by a huge gasp)

 

And also:

 

"Don't you ever want to get married?" (Yes, because apparently marriage and graduate studies are mutually exclusive.)

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"Congratulations!" and "You'd be perfect at that!"

 

Most people I've told about going back to school are extremely supportive. Even one friend who I figured would tell me it was the absolute wrong decision, actually told me she couldn't be happier for me.

 

I think my loved ones are probably just extremely relieved that I'm switching fields. My educational background is in the arts, and I've spent the last few years in the NY art scene, making about as little money as you assume. They think I'm finally getting serious about getting a "real job."

 

And I am really surprised at a lot of the negative comments most people are receiving! That really sucks. As long as you're making the right decision for yourself!

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My boyfriend and I plan to move in together once we find out where I'm accepted. We're both ready to move out of our area and start somewhere new, which is really exciting. I would say that most of the feedback I get is related to that aspect, rather than the grad school aspect. People seem to be a lot more focused on, "Well, you must be getting married soon then!" To add that sort of pressure on TOP of what could be a series of rejection letters... I mean... geez.

 

Anyone else experiencing anything like this?

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From profs:

"You only need one"

 

From friends from undergrad:

"God, I wish I was still in college"  <_<

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1.)

I have a terrible feeling about "X City" - my mother

What?  Why? - me

I don't know, just a feeling that you'll be miserable and not do well there.  No reason.  -my mother

 

Thanks Mom!  How helpful.

 

 

2.)

I'm applying for a Phd program - me

Do you need money?  You can just ask you know. - my dad

 

3.)

we updated our will - my dad

why? - me

well, we're only going to ever have one grandchild so we wanted to tie things down - my dad.

 

I guess my Dad thinks hitting 30 and applying for phd programs made my ovaries shrivel up and die?

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