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Anxiety!


sunshine6

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Obviously we are all going through a tough period. We sit, checking email, snail mail, and cellphones several times a day, waiting on news that may cause huge life changes.

Personally, I was very stressed during the application period as I made sure all the stuff was sent and received. But now, as I wait for some news, serious anxiety has taken hold, and it is no fun at all.

I am sure I am not the only one feeling like a walking anxiety attack, so what are you guys doing to keep sane? I mean aside from obsessively reading this site...

Zen mantras? Meditation? Internal pep talks? Herbal tea? Yoga? Xanax?

And, is it working?

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I used to use anxiety meds and all sorts of coping methods during my early undergrad years, but there were a lot of ups and downs. These days, the only thing that's really worked consistently for me is daily exercise. Running outdoors distracts me from grad school because the freezing cold is such a shock to the system and I get a nice natural change of scenery. I guess it's not for everyone, but it works for me. I'm also trying to read more for fun now that I have more time and that's been pretty nice. Tea never hurts.

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Its worse for me than probably a lot of other people because I'm currently being furloughed by my employer, and I'm only allowed to work every other week. That gives me an extra 50 or so hours a week to sit and think about it.

I am coping by...oh who am I kidding, I'm not coping.

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Try to take a break from the forums and do something that will keep your mind off things. Go to a park, read some fiction, see some friends. Obsessing over this is guaranteed to start on the way to anxiety and stress unless you have something to anchor you down to the present.

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Realize that happiness is not something that is determined by outside conditions, but rather, from internal considerations of personal responsibility and authenticity. If you don't get into grad school, life will continue as before, but on a different lifetrack. This is no different than the rest of your life, which as I am sure, has not been completely predictable. Go with the flow, enjoy some chemicals, and recognize that academia isn't going anywhere.

p.s. Unless you are a zen monk, you will probably always be anxious in these situations, but anxiety is a normal human emotion, so it is no big deal and it will soon pass.

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I heartily recommend the Wii, particularly Zelda: Twilight Princess.

Personally, in addition to the above, I'm lucky(?) enough to be working full-time and be in my undergrad full-time as well. Plus, I have a lot of work to do in AA as well which helps keep me focused on the present.

I also find swimming to be a nice way to get out of my head.

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Here's my litany of ways to cope, and I might add, my list includes medications because I have a severe anxiety disorder (social anxiety disorder/ general anxiety disorder), and am therefore prone to freaking out anyway:

-acupuncture

-herbal teas (Yogi Teas, Tulsi tea, and some Chinese teas given to me by the acupuncturist)

-daily Cymbalta for maintenance anxiety, and Ativan or Propranolol as needed (but again, mine is not typical anxiety)

-yoga (but this is ongoing, I didn't just start now)

-knitting (calms me)

-omega-3 supplements (they're good for me anyway and have read some intriguing studies about stress management benefits)

I do mean to meditate, but never seem to be able to sit still long enough, which ironically means I probably need to meditate all the more. :(

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Glad to hear I'm not along in this! I actually dreamed about hearing from schools last night, which is totally pathetic. Seriously.

As for dealing with the ridiculous anxiety of waiting, my technique focuses on several key points: swimming, running, eating obscenely healthy foods (I'm convinced power foods will put me on an even keel), and reading a lot. When that doesn't work...vodka :D It's hard to say which angle is working better at this point, although I'm sad to say the hard liquor is winning out over the peaceful pool time.

Lizzle

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I actually dreamed about hearing from schools last night, which is totally pathetic. Seriously.

Glad I'm not the only one. Unfortunately it was one of those dreams so realistic that I woke up and it only slowly dawned upon me that the acceptance hadn't actually happened. That was before I got the first real one, but still...

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I'm also trying to eat healthy, although I'm not sure that the pop tarts I justified because they're organic and came from Whole Foods really oughta count. (At least they're sugar rather than corn syrup.) :roll:

Just about to have some Yogi Tea's Royal Vitality tea, for the heck of it.

Oh, hey, Yogi Tea does free samples for anyone who wants to try them.

p.s. Lizzie it just occurred to me that maybe I've gone so nuts that you're just my alter ego :lol:

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My anxiety was intermittent and would loom up out of nowhere with no warning. I was accepted to 2 programs this week so thank G-d that part is over, but it was really awful. I'd be walking to class and then suddenly my heart would start pounding and I'd feel dizzy and sick and depressed and start freaking out. "I'm never going to get in anywhere, I'll be working at Barnes & Noble for the rest of my life like my friend A's half-sister, my parents are going to be so disappointed, I'll be so embarrassed to tell my recommenders, my PS was terrible, I bet my LORs were lukewarm," and on and on. I had myself pretty well convinced that I had a terrible application and that no program would want me. Fortunately my self-assessment has proven to be incorrect.

It didn't help that my roommate is applying to Ph.D programs (she's actually away on an interview right now). One of us would start freaking out of the blue and it was contagious. It's been one of our main conversation starters ever since winter break ended. "It's cold outside, huh?" "How was your day?" "When are we going to hear from X, Y, and Z? I'm going nuts!" We really need new material.

Oh, and I coped by watching the same DVDs over and over again. It's quite soothing.

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I try to keep myself very, very, very, very busy.

Same here. Fortunately I'm still an undergrad, and in an honours program, so that's easy enough! * grins *

The unknown is scary, but there's nothing to be done about it. I know it's hard not to think about it ALL THE TIME, but try to focus on the present. If you have time to kill, take up a new hobby or sport (yoga, anyone?), or start learning a new language, or spend an entire afternoon at the library making a list of books you'd like to read. If you can turn the limbo-period into something productive, then it will go faster AND you'll have achieved something at the end of it. Falling into the cycle of waiting and worrying and attempting to reassure yourself and waiting and worrying and attempting to reassure yourself...etc. is easy, but in the long run you'll be better off if you just give yourself a break. The decisions are out of your hands.

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Realize that happiness is not something that is determined by outside conditions, but rather, from internal considerations of personal responsibility and authenticity. If you don't get into grad school, life will continue as before, but on a different lifetrack. This is no different than the rest of your life, which as I am sure, has not been completely predictable. Go with the flow, enjoy some chemicals, and recognize that academia isn't going anywhere.

p.s. Unless you are a zen monk, you will probably always be anxious in these situations, but anxiety is a normal human emotion, so it is no big deal and it will soon pass.

That's a good way of looking at things! I've been making good progress in that regard, but in the meantime, I drink lots of tea and climb lots of walls at the gym.

By the way, I'm not sure how familiar you all are with Jamie Cullum, but I absolutely LOVE his song twentysomething. Look it up on youtube sometime!

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Yogi Tea! I like the calming tea- if you make it with two bags it's even more soothing and peaceful - but it has never made me sleepy

Deep breathing

and running outside.

i am glad i am not the only one. i feel like this underlying stress had made me randomly act like a total b* lately.

it has also, however, made my house sparklem with all of the chores I have been doing to keep my hands busy.

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I have a dog, and our normal routine was to go for a 5 mi walk everyday after work. It was a total stress releiver. However as of late I have been unable to complete the walk on a regular basis as being alone with my thoughts for that long usually brings on a crippling panic attack (not joking...I sometimes have to sit down on the curb until it passes). While at home, I usually veg out with wine and music. I love downloading new music.

When I have a neurotic episode, sometimes I find myself on craigslist looking at potential apartments in any number of cities that I could end up. Or I scan facebook groups to see what my potential classmates look like. In bed I fantasize about walking on campus for the first time. :|

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Glad to hear I'm not along in this! I actually dreamed about hearing from schools last night, which is totally pathetic. Seriously.

Lizzle

I had a similar dream last night. I dreamed I got a letter from Dream School which was deceptively thin. I held it up to a light to see if I could make out any words. I opened it to find an acceptance AND a $20,000 scholarship. Then I woke up and checked the application site for the school. Sigh.

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