MDLee Posted March 8, 2009 Author Share Posted March 8, 2009 MDLee...what's your score in SMT( Standard Mad Test)... I accept a minimum score of 1000 out of 800, plus research work Send me a SOP and a couple dozen LORs from certified mad men...preferably from someone in jail You are not bad if you are not mad :mrgreen: Wow...It must be my lucky day. After writing thesis I was certifiable myself and scored a 1600 out of 800 on the SMT If my people aren't in jail...per say...but are locked in basements...does that count? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psychdork Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 We have an art history section...no art section yet. Go for it. Doodling should cross-list with the Psych department listing: Psych 730: You saw WHAT in the ink blot? Perfect! Especially since I'm already heading the Psych department. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psycholinguist Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Wow...It must be my lucky day. After writing thesis I was certifiable myself and scored a 1600 out of 800 on the SMT If my people aren't in jail...per say...but are locked in basements...does that count? My score was an irrational number; I therefore have no way of submitting it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psycholinguist Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 I'm greatly enjoying reading this thread. I'm wondering, though, if all incoming students should have a required one-credit course on basic defenses against ninjas and pirates. Useful lifelong skills to have that undergraduate curriculums seem to be forgetting these days! Agreed! 214 Self-Defense Against Ninjas 215 Self-Defense Against Pirates 216 Self-Defense Against Chuck Norris (Wishful Thinking) 217 Self-Defense Against Anyone Who Attacks You Armed With a Piece of Fresh Fruit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whateverneveram3n Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Agreed! 214 Self-Defense Against Ninjas 215 Self-Defense Against Pirates 216 Self-Defense Against Chuck Norris (Wishful Thinking) 217 Self-Defense Against Anyone Who Attacks You Armed With a Piece of Fresh Fruit But what about pointed sticks? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElusiveMuse Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 And killer rabbits? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whateverneveram3n Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 (ok...now I'm totally procrastinating...) I'd like to suggest some courses for our applied math department: 524: Accounting Practices: Border Collie Puppies and Shortbread Cookies (required for all incoming students) 601: Introduction to Programming on Computers That Cost More Than Your House (must take APPM 602 simultaneously) 602: How Not to Break Computers That Cost More Than Your House 603: Applied Social Network Analysis: basically, facebooking 605: Atmosphere and Climate Modeling: why climate change is way more complicated than Al Gore says it is 725: How to Spot a Ponzi Scheme Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psycholinguist Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 But what about pointed sticks? Mention them and John Cleese will appear and scream at you to shut up. And killer rabbits? I'd like to see one of them take on Chuck Norris. (The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny comes to mind.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whateverneveram3n Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I'd like to see one of them take on Chuck Norris. (The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny comes to mind.) Oh my freaking goodness. This is awesome. How could this be on the internet for almost TWO YEARS and I'm just finding out about it now?? Thank you for the much needed belly laughs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psycholinguist Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Oh my freaking goodness. This is awesome. How could this be on the internet for almost TWO YEARS and I'm just finding out about it now?? Thank you for the much needed belly laughs! You're welcome! And, if it's any consolation, I only heard of it a month or so ago...and from the Wikipedia list of Internet phenomena, at that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whateverneveram3n Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 You're welcome! And, if it's any consolation, I only heard of it a month or so ago...and from the Wikipedia list of Internet phenomena, at that! Bahaha...awesome. I like how the article takes these hilarious internet videos and actually manages pretty serious synopses of them. So much time to waste...so little time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MDLee Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 (ok...now I'm totally procrastinating...) I'd like to suggest some courses for our applied math department: 524: Accounting Practices: Border Collie Puppies and Shortbread Cookies (required for all incoming students) 601: Introduction to Programming on Computers That Cost More Than Your House (must take APPM 602 simultaneously) 602: How Not to Break Computers That Cost More Than Your House 603: Applied Social Network Analysis: basically, facebooking 605: Atmosphere and Climate Modeling: why climate change is way more complicated than Al Gore says it is 725: How to Spot a Ponzi Scheme Why are we spotting Ponzi schemes and not creating our own...with intent not to get caught? Think of it guys, we'd be trillionaires! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MDLee Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 Chuck Norris is officially in charge of campus security. The killer rabbit is our representative to the state legislature. Fund us or else Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psychdork Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Chuck Norris is officially in charge of campus security. The killer rabbit is our representative to the state legislature. Fund us or else Perfect! Now no one will have to worry about someone stealing their laptop...or pencil! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
galatea Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 My score was an irrational number; I therefore have no way of submitting it. Dear psycholinguist, Your score on your SMT exam was so freaking awesome, that one of our esteemed professors jumped out a window with sheer joy. I am sorry to say that due to this unfortunate occurrence, we will have to take back all your funding. We will be using the cash to glue Professor X's spine back together. Other than that you are accepted! All we need you to do is send your GME (Graduate Madness Examination) score. From, The Department of Computer Science. P.S. To avoid excessive shock and joy within the admission committee, we prefer you break the GME news to us gently, thus giving us time to adjust to the magnitude of your acclaimed insanity. Singing your score to us might help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MDLee Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 Singing your score to us might help. We'll gladly set up an American Idol panel to judge your lack of talent there. Its okay though--consider that the hazing process. You're already in, its just a matter of letting you know where you stand in the grand scheme of academia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whateverneveram3n Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 We'll gladly set up an American Idol panel to judge your lack of talent there. Its okay though--consider that the hazing process. You're already in, its just a matter of letting you know where you stand in the grand scheme of academia. Isn't the self-esteem bruising nature of the applications process enough of a hazing ritual already? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MDLee Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 Isn't the self-esteem bruising nature of the applications process enough of a hazing ritual already? So true...I was thinking about it, and that was mis-stated. We're setting up an American Idol panel for all of the applicants to haze the professors Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinali Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Some suggested classes, coursework all provided by the boob tube: MATH-812 - Writing Equations on a Whiteboard - Why you don't need to know what it means as long as you have good hair PHILO-263 - Zen and the Art of Psych - How to own a motorcycle but never actually ride it CRIM-187 - T-shirts and Sunglasses - That fat guy from The Commish kicks ass now? MEDSCI-003 - Diagnostics and American Accents - the unknowable connection PHYS-1013 - Lift and Suspension - An examination of how '68 Chargers, conversion vans, Mini Coopers, city buses, etc. can all make 70' jumps and continue to run perfectly SCI-101 - Hot redhead > the scientific method or any kind of rigor Bonus: ANGLay-078lay - Igpay Atinlay - Advancedlay Ourseclay - Onorshlay Editcray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MDLee Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 PHYS-1013 - Lift and Suspension - An examination of how '68 Chargers, conversion vans, Mini Coopers, city buses, etc. can all make 70' jumps and continue to run perfectly I'd actually be interested in adding this to my schedule for my first semester along with Viking's controlled arson and the course about doodling. I assume tuition is covered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psycholinguist Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Dear psycholinguist, Your score on your SMT exam was so freaking awesome, that one of our esteemed professors jumped out a window with sheer joy. I am sorry to say that due to this unfortunate occurrence, we will have to take back all your funding. We will be using the cash to glue Professor X's spine back together. Other than that you are accepted! All we need you to do is send your GME (Graduate Madness Examination) score. From, The Department of Computer Science. P.S. To avoid excessive shock and joy within the admission committee, we prefer you break the GME news to us gently, thus giving us time to adjust to the magnitude of your acclaimed insanity. Singing your score to us might help. Oh, on that I got exactly i. It's also what I got on every single practise-test I took. How's that for consistency? Anyway, you can begin adjusting to the magnitude of my acclaimed insanity by noting that my username is homophonous with 'psycho linguist'. After which...hmm...well, although I am a composer in my spare time, I've never had to write or arrange a piece that long before. Hmm. Could you possibly give me a travel-grant to stay a while at the Hotel Infinity? We'll gladly set up an American Idol panel to judge your lack of talent there. Its okay though--consider that the hazing process. You're already in, its just a matter of letting you know where you stand in the grand scheme of academia. Works for me! * grins * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopefullyahawkeye Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 I would like to propose an summer institute for TGC university. To be attended by all admitted students for the following fall semester. Topics for discussion during afternoon picnics (the only course form provided) would be as follows; S701. Why watching reality television is actually proven to boost your academic achievement. S733. The correct ratio of peanut butter to jelly. S734. Assessing the effects of shortbread cookies and kool-aid on graduate student mental health. S850. Interactions between pirates and ninjas and emergency Chuck Norris intervention outcomes. Courses would run from 1:30pm to 3:30pm on the grassy area under the shady tree. Brown bag lunches will be provided along with juice boxes for all! We encourage sleeping if you are sleepy...please lay down on the feather soft nap blankets provided. The professors will be sure to speak softly as not to wake a sleeping student. (All students will also be given a summer fun stipend of 150,000) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinali Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 S733. The correct ratio of peanut butter to jelly. There is no correct ratio. Peanut butter should always and only be sandwiched with honey. I repeat: honey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MDLee Posted March 11, 2009 Author Share Posted March 11, 2009 S850. Interactions between pirates and ninjas and emergency Chuck Norris intervention outcomes. This, of course, will cross list with all of the classes offered during the year on pirates, ninjas, and Chuck Norris. Mini-Term will include a 2 week intensive training course by Macgyver on surviving pirates and ninjas using only a used McDonald's straw, a paper clip, and a can of Barbasol. Which of course won't do you any good on Chuch Norris because according to FDR, "The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself. Also known as Chuck Norris." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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