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Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

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I am goijng to live living alone when I move out of town: my roommate might not apply to PhD programs due to health issues.

I still haven't received the report on my master's thesis. I just want to know I passed. The examiner is two months late!! 

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I interviewed for the perfect research job a few weeks ago, and they agreed to reach out to my references. After three weeks, one of my old research supervisors still has not responded to contact requests from anyone, and I'm afraid it will end up costing my this rare opportunity. 😓

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Not really a vent, I'm just so bummed about the Notre Dame cathedral fire. Such a beautiful, iconic piece of architecture, and we have no way of knowing just how much has been ruined until the fire's out. I'm glad that at least I've had a chance to go already and see it in all its glory.

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1 hour ago, bibliophile222 said:

Not really a vent, I'm just so bummed about the Notre Dame cathedral fire. Such a beautiful, iconic piece of architecture, and we have no way of knowing just how much has been ruined until the fire's out. I'm glad that at least I've had a chance to go already and see it in all its glory.

I came here to post about this too ...I never got to see it. 

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2 hours ago, ResilientDreams said:

I came here to post about this too ...I never got to see it. 

I'm American but I lived in the heart of Paris for a few years when I was a child. Notre Dame was one of my favorite places, my family would go multiple times a month. I liked lighting those little candles. It's so devastating. 

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I need a quick vent: 

I applied to 10 Counseling Psych PhD programs. I got my last rejection yesterday. I was applying right from undergrad, so I knew it was a stretch, but I have a strong GPA/GRE, and a few years of great research experience, so I was kind of hopeful. 

I have turned down a few Masters offers, and am planning on spending a year or two working in a research environment before re-applying to PhD programs. Finding a research job has been a whole new stressful experience. I have been rejected from three jobs so far, that I was really excited about and thought would be a perfect fit. I have some more applications out there, but with graduation approaching quickly, I just wish I had solidified plans and peace of mind about what I will be doing a month from now. It is so stressful having your life up in the air, and not knowing what is coming next. 

The past few months, first with PhD program rejections, and now with job rejections, have been tough. I am a very optimistic person, but it is hard to stay positive through all of this rejection. 

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I'm excited about graduate school, but I'm already starting to feel some extreme post-college sadness. I graduate in June. I love my undergrad institution to piece. I've already cried about it twice last weekend. :(

I also wish my family understood anything about academia...

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10 hours ago, sgaw10 said:

I'm excited about graduate school, but I'm already starting to feel some extreme post-college sadness. I graduate in June. I love my undergrad institution to piece. I've already cried about it twice last weekend. :(

I also wish my family understood anything about academia...

I am so sorry. I totally understand this. When I graduated last May, I was upset for about six months. I still get a bit upset when I think about it. I considered my undergrad university a home. I made some many good and close friends, and had established myself there. I am used to moving, so I didn't think it would be as hard as it was. I was happy when finals were over, but the day after I took my last final and started packing up my apartment, it all kind of hit me. I cried A LOT. It actually is very common for college students to become depressed for a span of time after graduating because they miss the close community that they developed at school. At least for us, we get to go back to the college environment, just in a different way.

One thing that I try to remember is that I at least can visit my old college and visit my old friends. It may not be as often as I would like and it won't feel the same as when I was a student, but just this even little bit of information reassures me.

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2 hours ago, IceCream & MatSci said:

I am so sorry. I totally understand this. When I graduated last May, I was upset for about six months. I still get a bit upset when I think about it. I considered my undergrad university a home. I made some many good and close friends, and had established myself there. I am used to moving, so I didn't think it would be as hard as it was. I was happy when finals were over, but the day after I took my last final and started packing up my apartment, it all kind of hit me. I cried A LOT. It actually is very common for college students to become depressed for a span of time after graduating because they miss the close community that they developed at school. At least for us, we get to go back to the college environment, just in a different way.

One thing that I try to remember is that I at least can visit my old college and visit my old friends. It may not be as often as I would like and it won't feel the same as when I was a student, but just this even little bit of information reassures me.

Thanks for sharing that. Fortunately my grad institution isn't too far from my undergrad, but it's far enough to make returning regularly a bit difficult.

It's hard because my undergraduate community and city as a whole is the first place I've ever felt "home" in my entire life. To the point where I'm kind of considering getting a tattoo related to it, as cheesy as that sounds.

I have heard that post-college depression is more common than people think. I hope that graduate school will distract me from that. Not that I would be using it as a crutch, but being in an exciting new community should help.

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35 minutes ago, sgaw10 said:

Thanks for sharing that. Fortunately my grad institution isn't too far from my undergrad, but it's far enough to make returning regularly a bit difficult.

It's hard because my undergraduate community and city as a whole is the first place I've ever felt "home" in my entire life. To the point where I'm kind of considering getting a tattoo related to it, as cheesy as that sounds.

I have heard that post-college depression is more common than people think. I hope that graduate school will distract me from that. Not that I would be using it as a crutch, but being in an exciting new community should help.

I don't think it is cheesy to get a tattoo. I am actually getting a tattoo related to my undergrad school, so I might be biased about it, but I think it is sweet.

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37 minutes ago, IceCream & MatSci said:

I don't think it is cheesy to get a tattoo. I am actually getting a tattoo related to my undergrad school, so I might be biased about it, but I think it is sweet.

That's awesome. I love tattoos so much, and I am definitely due for another :P

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1 hour ago, sgaw10 said:

Thanks for sharing that. Fortunately my grad institution isn't too far from my undergrad, but it's far enough to make returning regularly a bit difficult.

It's hard because my undergraduate community and city as a whole is the first place I've ever felt "home" in my entire life. To the point where I'm kind of considering getting a tattoo related to it, as cheesy as that sounds.

I have heard that post-college depression is more common than people think. I hope that graduate school will distract me from that. Not that I would be using it as a crutch, but being in an exciting new community should help.

I experienced this after I graduated in June 2017, too. It's hard to see the friends you made there as frequently, but you will make connections moving forward, be it at grad school or in the work force. It's a big transition, but making money and moving up in the workforce is a great thing too! There are so many other milestones to look forward to after undergrad is done. My advice is to try to keep in touch with them but also try to be emotionally independent - forge your happiness through yourself. 

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Just now, bloomeighty said:

I experienced this after I graduated in June 2017, too. It's hard to see the friends you made there as frequently, but you will make connections moving forward, be it at grad school or in the work force. It's a big transition, but making money and moving up in the workforce is a great thing too! There are so many other milestones to look forward to after undergrad is done. My advice is to try to keep in touch with them but also try to be emotionally independent - forge your happiness through yourself. 

Thanks. It's funny because I don't quite feel that I made many friends during my time here. It's the atmosphere itself that I will miss, and the professors especially. 

I think it's also overwhelming because my parents didn't go to college, so in a way I'm letting go of place that grew comfortable for me. And now I'll be stepping out of my comfort zone again onto the next "thing" in life.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, bloomeighty said:

I experienced this after I graduated in June 2017, too. It's hard to see the friends you made there as frequently, but you will make connections moving forward, be it at grad school or in the work force. It's a big transition, but making money and moving up in the workforce is a great thing too! There are so many other milestones to look forward to after undergrad is done. My advice is to try to keep in touch with them but also try to be emotionally independent - forge your happiness through yourself. 

Gold piece of advice ❤️ also, I cannot second enough what @bloomeighty said about financial independence! Very true!

It's hard when we're used to a place/a situation/people and then life changes and we just have to move on. I'm quite older than you guys (graduated in December 2013) and at the time I think all of us were so tired of school and so eager to "start living" that we didn't feel emotional at all. I think it's more of a cultural thing but here in my country engineering students seem to graduate never wanting to look back haha cursing everyone and everything related to their undergrad experience. I didn't see it that way... I had a great undergrad experience, which gave me my best friend, a 4-year relationship (which ended, but yeah that's another story rs) and great memories...

Unfortunately... people move on and it's hard to keep in touch =( we start by meeting once a month, then once every two months, then at birthdays... and then the inevitable happens: meetings at weddings and baby showers! haha your old group of friends is now in their early 30s!! 

But you know what? That's the beauty of it! I mean... I met my best friend at my very first day in college, 10 years ago. And she's still my best friend. We talk about other things now, but sometimes we just sit and remember classes, teachers, people from college, search their profiles on FB HAHA and it's so much fun.

The good ones, the true ones? They'll stay. ❤️ As the time passes by you realize you have less people around, but the ones you have are the real ones! And it'll be a blast for all of you to share all of the milestones of your lives: first job, first salary, first apartment, first marriage and so goes on. 

Edited by CherryBlossom_

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1 hour ago, sgaw10 said:

Thanks. It's funny because I don't quite feel that I made many friends during my time here. It's the atmosphere itself that I will miss, and the professors especially. 

I think it's also overwhelming because my parents didn't go to college, so in a way I'm letting go of place that grew comfortable for me. And now I'll be stepping out of my comfort zone again onto the next "thing" in life.

You can definitely keep up with professors over email at least. I know mine are eager to keep in touch. 

Maybe you're underestimating your parents. My parents didn't go to college either and I'm actually the first in my entire extended family to pursue a master's degree. But they definitely have acquired wisdom and their own sense of intelligence. There are so many kinds of smarts. You can also turn to other people who have been to university if you're struggling to relate to them in that aspect. 

It is true, you'll have to step out of your comfort zone, but that's where the growth happens. Working can be really rewarding. Don't listen to fear! 

 

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37 minutes ago, bloomeighty said:

You can definitely keep up with professors over email at least. I know mine are eager to keep in touch. 

Maybe you're underestimating your parents. My parents didn't go to college either and I'm actually the first in my entire extended family to pursue a master's degree. But they definitely have acquired wisdom and their own sense of intelligence. There are so many kinds of smarts. You can also turn to other people who have been to university if you're struggling to relate to them in that aspect. 

It is true, you'll have to step out of your comfort zone, but that's where the growth happens. Working can be really rewarding. Don't listen to fear! 

 

Oh, believe me, I do distance myself from my parents a bit for good reason :P  I'm fairly independent, so it's all right. 

I appreciate your words!

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So.. I got significant results from my dissertation pilot. But now I'm super nervous I did something wrong and the results are bs. Or, if I got results from such a small sample, has someone else done it and my idea not have tension? Or the sample is an outlier. What did I confound to get these results? What did I screw up? There is no way I got lucky and the results just worked out when the Ph.D students in the cohort ahead of me didn't. Especially on the first try. They are way smarter than I. My dissertation proposal is in five weeks and it is going to be brutal, I'm sure. And, what if they make me change something and it ruins my results. (It's what we call a mediator, I guess)

IDK if this is just impostor syndrome or what. But I'm really nervous now and spending too much time re-running my tests to make sure I did them properly.

Anyways, that's what I'm feeling. Also feeling old because I'm about to be in my 5th year of the Ph.D progam and now everyone on here are newbies, haha!

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22 hours ago, sgaw10 said:

I'm excited about graduate school, but I'm already starting to feel some extreme post-college sadness. I graduate in June. I love my undergrad institution to piece. I've already cried about it twice last weekend. :(

I also wish my family understood anything about academia...

Understandable. When I graduated, I listened to the song "Rivers and Roads" on repeat for like six months.  Also, even when you go to grad school, you will always have a special place in your heart for your undergrad institution. And I'm really glad I have that, because my graduate institution has been a nightmare, haha!

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It's final exams (papers, rather) season and I am super stressed about that (oddly less stressed than last semester, however; I know my writing process much better now and have started my research in advance. Professors were more proactive about demanding drafts in advance.) I feel like a machine.

Concurrently, I am dating a very sweet, caring guy who has depression and who has difficult life circumstances and whom I am unable to help and that hurts. 

And to add to that, I'm feeling impostor syndrome so badly. One of my theory based courses is particularly challenging, and the professor has even mocked me for my contributions in class which only adds to my anxiety about not being good enough for academia. 

I haven't had time to chat with my family; my mom is sick but tells me she is doing better. Communication with the rest of them is not frequent.

My apartment looks like a tornado passed through it. I get up in the morning, make a quick breakfast, go to the gym, eat something really quick, shower and spend all my evenings doing schoolwork. This is a lifestyle that people who are not in graduate school wouldn't understand--for them, work starts at 9 and ends at 5 (or at specific schedules.) For us, work is always with us. Even during breaks, you are supposed to consume knowledge like a beast. There is never a moment of rest.

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On 4/17/2019 at 11:43 PM, sgaw10 said:

I'm excited about graduate school, but I'm already starting to feel some extreme post-college sadness. I graduate in June. I love my undergrad institution to piece. I've already cried about it twice last weekend. :(

I also wish my family understood anything about academia...

I did my undergrad online, so no emotional connection there in the slightest, but leaving my job last year was tough. It was just an office job in a trucking company, and I worked with a bunch of middle-aged blue collar trucker dudes (talk about culture shock!) but it was a family business with good owners and I worked with the same people day in, day out for over three years. I thought I was fine on my last day, but I started crying as I walked out to my car and sobbed all the way home.

I'm also already starting to feel this way about my current program. My cohort is really great and the building is my second home. It bums me out that I only have another year with them, and we won't even see each other much the last semester. I'm also a terrible correspondent, so I already know I'll lose touch with them eventually.

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There’s a rumor going around that my former corrections professor is pretty sick, but he wants to take me to Attica next semester. I was unable to go these past two semesters. I’m crying. I really hope he’s okay. 

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On 4/19/2019 at 9:13 AM, Carly Rae Jepsen said:

It's final exams (papers, rather) season and I am super stressed about that (oddly less stressed than last semester, however; I know my writing process much better now and have started my research in advance. Professors were more proactive about demanding drafts in advance.) I feel like a machine.

Concurrently, I am dating a very sweet, caring guy who has depression and who has difficult life circumstances and whom I am unable to help and that hurts. 

And to add to that, I'm feeling impostor syndrome so badly. One of my theory based courses is particularly challenging, and the professor has even mocked me for my contributions in class which only adds to my anxiety about not being good enough for academia. 

I haven't had time to chat with my family; my mom is sick but tells me she is doing better. Communication with the rest of them is not frequent.

My apartment looks like a tornado passed through it. I get up in the morning, make a quick breakfast, go to the gym, eat something really quick, shower and spend all my evenings doing schoolwork. This is a lifestyle that people who are not in graduate school wouldn't understand--for them, work starts at 9 and ends at 5 (or at specific schedules.) For us, work is always with us. Even during breaks, you are supposed to consume knowledge like a beast. There is never a moment of rest.

I refuse to give in to that lifestyle. As a psychologist, we also know that you become most creative when you give your mind regular 'breaks' (think 'that idea in the shower moment'', but more frequently) and burn out is a thing. So no - I don't recognize that lifestyle and there's plenty of indicators showing that it will most likely end up being very counterproductive at some point.

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1 hour ago, Psygeek said:

I refuse to give in to that lifestyle. As a psychologist, we also know that you become most creative when you give your mind regular 'breaks' (think 'that idea in the shower moment'', but more frequently) and burn out is a thing. So no - I don't recognize that lifestyle and there's plenty of indicators showing that it will most likely end up being very counterproductive at some point.

I totally agree. And research has shown that work deteriorates after 40 hours.  My apartment being clean and taking the time to prepare good food does wonders for my mental health and productivity. Occasionally there is a rush, the first two weeks and the last two weeks of a semester are usually hell, but for the most part I try to keep a good, sustainable lifestyle. I think we in academia seem to think that if our lives aren't insane then we aren't working hard enough, and we have to prove we are actually doing something since we don't go to a 9-5 job, but this ends in burnout.

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2 hours ago, Cheshire_Cat said:

I totally agree. And research has shown that work deteriorates after 40 hours.  My apartment being clean and taking the time to prepare good food does wonders for my mental health and productivity. Occasionally there is a rush, the first two weeks and the last two weeks of a semester are usually hell, but for the most part I try to keep a good, sustainable lifestyle. I think we in academia seem to think that if our lives aren't insane then we aren't working hard enough, and we have to prove we are actually doing something since we don't go to a 9-5 job, but this ends in burnout.

Yes - I think occasionally (like last 2 weeks of semester) is OK. But in the long run, working all the time is highly unsustainable in the long run and most likely counterproductive. 

Plus effort does not equate productivity in academia since ideas aren't necessarily equated by time spend on X

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