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Venting Thread- Vent about anything.


MoJingly

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I'm tired of the politics at my job, scared of taking my gres in October, and coming on too strong/needy with guys I have an interest in(I never even notice it until they say something or ignore me without warning), it hurts to be ignored. I'm hopeless but working on myself....I hope to this nerdy guy I was talking to talks to me again *shugs* 

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Seems like living expenses is the main  heavy cost for going to a university stationed in a metropolitan area  -_-  (ie: NYC, DC, Chicago). The tuition itself is rather decent for my program (funding or no funding, imo). It's the living expenses lol. I also literally spent nearly a week planning my budget out for grad school. I had to think wise and hard in terms of how much I really need for financial aid.

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Almost finished with a summer job and I'm really getting cranky about one of my coworkers. We're both crew leaders, but for different but related projects. She hijacked some of my responsibilities and essentially made herself the boss of the entire field crew. She would even butt into some of my training sessions with my crew when I was in the middle of explaining something and just start talking like I wasn't even there, repeating what I just said and then continuing with what I would have said next. She wanted a lot of things done her way that weren't even part of her project (because she had more experience and therefore knew better), and it was annoying as hell, and any attempt to disagree was met with the phrase "I'm going to have to insist on it." After a few times, I just gave up. We did extra work for no reason, but whatever.

Her project was a lot shorter than mine, so she and her partner joined my crew when they were finished. They screwed up a lot, especially with making sure mist netting locations were 300 meters apart. I gave her maps and gps coordinates of sites already done, and she just ignored it and did what she wanted. So we have a fair amount of useless data now. I also went out with her on the last day of netting and found out that she and her partner weren't following proper protocol, and when I told her to do it the correct way, she told me no. Right to my face. It didn't result in bad data, but it could have. I also discovered that they didn't put up their nets correctly and it would be very easy for a bird to get extremely tangled and injured the laborious extraction process that would follow. I asked them to fix it. Again, a no.

Now we're doing vegetation surveys and she again didn't follow the protocol. This time it did result in bad data, so several sites have to be redone. She now wants everyone else to split the work with her (and it's not a request). We've also been working for a month and a half and have had 5 days off the entire time. We're getting done 2 weeks ahead of schedule. This week is rainy, especially today. It poured all day. She refused to let us take the day off (even though our supervisor told us we could take any day off this week and not to work if it's doing more than drizzling... however, she denies that conversation took place). It was so cold and wet...

I'm just really frickin annoyed with this person and I can't wait to get home after this week. I love my crew and I'll miss them, but getting away from her will be a dream come true. I don't think I would be so annoyed if I wasn't in a leadership position, but the fact that she has been stepping on my toes the entire field season and making more work for MY crew really gets to me.

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Roommate from hell. I'm at the end of my rope. She's now eating my food, on top of everything else. She's openly malicious, ignores everything I say, and lies through her teeth. I've got some serious health issues, and she's done things that I've repeatedly, pleadingly told her aggravate them. She would deliberately wake me up every night (it was obvious eventually by the fact the noises were loud enough to even penetrate earplugs, repeated, and she always claimed not to know what they were afterward...and her malice came out in all its ugly glory as the weeks went on). She likes to hurt people.

 

But the landlady is a bitch, and does squat to stop it regardless of the fact that she knows about my health, and that I told her long ago. She even extended the little monster's lease! She was supposed to move out at the end of June, and instead I'm stuck with her until the end of July. I got so worried about my health that I rented another room for the month. I would've moved out entirely, but my funds are extremely limited since I'm not able to work right now, and between the cheap rent and the location and (former) safety in a generally unreliable neighborhood, I think moving out would be shooting myself in the foot. Especially since the other rooms are already rented to other people for August. The landlady is now ignoring my calls, too, so I'm not sure if the little shit is at work spreading her lies again there, too. I am still looking around for available rooms, but between my health and my life being in severe disarray at the moment, I don't think I can handle that. I'm on my own, so I don't even have anybody to help me deal with all this shit, and the general state of my wider circumstances doesn't exactly help.

 

Strange first post, I know. I suppose I should write something optimistic here to ameliorate it...but I can't think of anything, and frankly, the "positive attitude" thing would be bullshit here. A sense of humor and a healthy dose of pessimism is usually enough to get me through things, though my health problems sometimes drive me to the edge, but this little monster is just so malicious and openly trampling on me...I don't know what to do about it, and I feel like doing something crazy every time I'm around here. I'm trying to stay away as much as possible while she's there. Hope to god that's enough.

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I think I am going to tell my manager about my academic future tomorrow.  Let's see if I get any sleep tonight... probably not.  I hope they don't stab me in the back.  But then I will have that weight off my shoulders.  I just don't know what to say.  I've never resigned from a job before.  All of my other ones had a specific time period and we knew I would be gone after that.  But I was always unsure about giving my resignation an exact date, because I decided I would just know when it was time.  That time has arrived.  It's not like things are bad anymore.  The past month has been rather pleasant.  My boss even gave me a free weekend at the beach, since we were auditing in that town the week preceding it and the week after.  I've been doing site audits, and I've enjoyed them.  But, July 1st I was transferred back to my old department, the one I started on.  They are very nice, but things aren't the same.  I'm no longer the star pupil. I'm the dunce who got sent back to kindergarten.   I know they probably don't view it that way, but I do.  And even though I know I will be leaving in six weeks at most, it still feels like I'm going backwards instead of forwards.   And, I hate pretending that I'm going to be there, when I will be leaving.  To be honest, I am still a little hurt by what has happened in the last year.  So, I don't know if my company deserves advanced warning of my plans, but, my manager does.  She has always been encouraging, and they took me back when everything went down.  I will be sad to leave them.

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I got a parking ticket for failing to hang my tag from the mirror--we're not allowed to drive around with them up (nominally), but my previous university had window stickers, so it's a hard habit to get into. I'm a grad student coming into campus to do work for the fall semester that I'm not getting paid for and take a professional development course. The $35 is actually not a small expense to me, considering it's infinity percent more than my monthly income in June, July, and August. The bad thing is that my car has a few distinctive stickers on the back windscreen (my alma mater and my honor society), and it's almost always parked in the same lot, so it's not like it was some strange visitor's car. Plus, it's the summer... Gah.

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Advisor not answering e-mails....trying to enroll in a course that has a pre-req, advisor stated (in e-mail) that I could take said course and the pre-req in the same semester, but she would have to do the enrollment. That was 3 months ago. So far...zero progress. Not registered for the course I need and if I can't take it this fall, it will set me back a year as it's a pre-req for others and as far as I can tell, only offered in the fall semester.

 

3 e-mails sent, one w/ the above statement, all w/ zero action taken on her end. Sitting at less than 6 credits b/c I'm not in that course and it's affecting my financial aid loan amount as well as my GA funding, which is based on number of credits enrolled in...

 

Considering calling/contacting Dept Head or Grad Coordinator and giving them the lowdown, but don't want it to negatively affect me re: how my advisor perceives me, especially since she'll be instructing several of my grad courses including the one in question. 

 

Le Sigh

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It s mid July? Woe is me! When s the flood of bureaucratic necessities gonna end? And I thought applying would be the time-consuming part... nobody told me enrolment s gonna be just as hardcore as getting in. Sure, I read somewhere that one useful transferable skill of PhD studies is "ability to navigate the byzantine bureaucracies of higher education". having had my fair share of gvt paperwork with some of the most notorious systems, I thought: do your worst! And they did, they did.

One good thing of the day though: finaly have housing. I guess I should celebrate. Yeah, right. Off to coordinate the big move.

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I just want to know if I have a TA position or not. Maybe the e-mail will come this week, but probably not. They said they'd let me know in the summer, once they have solid numbers for enrollment for the fall. Orientations for incoming freshman go from late June into September. Almost all of them will be done July 21, so maybe I'll find out the last week of July. But maybe not. I have a fellowship that would cover almost all of my tuition if I was a resident, but I'm not. That means taking out a loan this year if I don't get a TA, which wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Then tuition would definitely be taken care of the following years. I would need a job, though... I have so much that needs to be done between now and mid-September if I am going to move across country. I need to start making plans, at least for housing. Ugh.

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Advisor not answering e-mails....trying to enroll in a course that has a pre-req, advisor stated (in e-mail) that I could take said course and the pre-req in the same semester, but she would have to do the enrollment. That was 3 months ago. So far...zero progress. Not registered for the course I need and if I can't take it this fall, it will set me back a year as it's a pre-req for others and as far as I can tell, only offered in the fall semester.

 

3 e-mails sent, one w/ the above statement, all w/ zero action taken on her end. Sitting at less than 6 credits b/c I'm not in that course and it's affecting my financial aid loan amount as well as my GA funding, which is based on number of credits enrolled in...

 

Considering calling/contacting Dept Head or Grad Coordinator and giving them the lowdown, but don't want it to negatively affect me re: how my advisor perceives me, especially since she'll be instructing several of my grad courses including the one in question. 

 

Le Sigh

 

It may be time for you to physically track down your advisor and have a talk CBclone. I would do this first before going above her head to the department head.

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It may be time for you to physically track down your advisor and have a talk CBclone. I would do this first before going above her head to the department head.

 

 

If I wasn't over 2000 miles away, I would have gone straight to her office instead of e-mailing. My only in-person interaction with her has been when I visited the campus in the spring. Luckily, I was notified that the issue is being resolved and I should be able to register for that class in a few days. 

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Finally decided to just make plans for moving and just deal with a year of student loans if my TA position doesn't work out. Found a great small house with a yard about 2 miles from campus with decent rent which will hopefully work out. Went on the uhaul website to double check pricing on moving containers, and the price doubled since I last checked at the end of May. Blech. I was planning on 2 containers, but it looks like I can only afford 1 now. Which means I'll probably have to leave several pieces of furniture behind.

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So once a week I work at a different school than my primary one.  I walk to work, as I don't have a car.  This school is about a 45 min. walk away.  Usually, this isn't a problem since I enjoy walking.  But today it rained.  I don't mean normal rain, I mean torrential downpour.  I had to wade through water that was up to or above my calf for much of the walk.  By the time I reached work, I was thoroughly soaked.  And of course, today was my last day there, so I was expected to say a few words in front of the staff.  So there I stand, looking a hot mess, as I try to give a speech in Japanese (which I can't really speak) and look dignified. Wonderful impression to leave everyone with :rolleyes:  

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According to my practice questions, I'm bombing my GRE prep so far. I bit the bullet and rescheduled the test date, pushing it another month away.  

 

Guess that also gives me some more time to attempt a rough-as-hell draft of an SOP...

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Gotta love it when your own father tells you that you're making a huge mistake and you'll regret it later.  That all of your decisions will leave you to amount to nothing in life.

 

Thanks Dad, nice to know you're so supportive of my life choices. All the more reason to be happy once I've a state between you and I. :rolleyes:  

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I still haven't contacted any POIs or begun the draft of my SOP. I haven't done any grad school research in several weeks. I'm just so swamped by work and confused by my prospects, I have no idea what I'm doing, and I'm afraid I could be sabotaging myself by waffling and procrastinating so much.

 

On the bright side, I bodyslammed the GRE. How useful is that going to be if I end up too overwhelmed to ever actually apply to grad school, though.

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