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On 4/29/2017 at 0:10 PM, Crucial BBQ said:

Likely not what you want to read at this point:  sing the contract, get your name in print, wash your hands and be done with it.  Ten years from now you'll be glad you did.  Your best work (and publications) is ahead of you.  

I know it isn't worth fighting over. I signed the contract and will mail it tomorrow. The whole thing just makes me so angry. First the extra names being added, so now I'm listed as one of four translators, even though I did all the translating and now his claim that he bought the translation from me even though that was never agreed upon. I'll get over it. I'm just frustrated because I knew better than to trust him, but went along with it, anyway. I feel really stupid. But I guess all I can do at this point is call it a learning experience and plan a book burning.

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I just want to know where I'll be in 6 months. I. Just. Want. To. Know.

Snow.   F*ckin' snow.   Can't they do anything about all the damned snow?!   Signed,  Everybody on the Eastern Seaboard.

thanks for sharing

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Some fucktard in a professional moving truck just backed up into my mom's car and then drove away. I was on the phone with her while it was happening and she was screaming and now I'm shaken. She's ok and her car can still run, but the fucktard was still driving off even though my mom was following him blaring her horn.  I am willing to give people benefit of the doubt, but I hope this idiot loses his job.

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Also, I'm very protective of my mom because she seems very innocent, and hearing her scream and not being able to do anything about it is very traumatizing, even if she's ok in the end. And I have to study for my comps coming up in 21 days.

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20 hours ago, spectastic said:

did the fucktard get arrested for hit and run?

No.  There wasn't enough damage and she said she didn't know... even though my mom followed her for a long time blaring her horn.  Likely story.

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3 hours ago, Cheshire_Cat said:

No.  There wasn't enough damage and she said she didn't know... even though my mom followed her for a long time blaring her horn.  Likely story.

boy do i have stories for you about dipshits behind the wheel. I'm a cyclist, and I deal with these idiots almost every day. Too many close calls. 

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Imposter syndrome kicking in mad hard right now. I got into grad school, great funding package and taking a quick vacation and all I can think about is: why haven't you published as first author? why don't you have an external fellowship? stop wasting time on self care go start a charitable community based foundation, go blow up the death star!!!! 

 

Ugghhhh...

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On 4/29/2017 at 8:06 AM, hippyscientist said:

Seriously, eff this effing week. I'm freaking out because I have an MRI on monday that I'll have to pay a bit for, potential surgery depending on the MRI which means I'll have to shell out for htat, and yesterday evening the transmission on my car went so that's going to cost a ridiculous amount to fix. I have no idea where I'm going to get potentially $5k + to pay for all this. I need to stop freaking out and wait for the diagnoses on the car and my injury but right now I can't. To top it all off I'm taking my candidacy exam in 3 weeks, and have finals this coming week. AGH

I totally relate to this. I had a swollen area on my thyroid and after blood tests, multiple ultrasounds, and a biopsy and a few hundred dollars later, I am totally fine. Turns out it's just a benign mass. Although now I notice the swollen area constantly and its made me so self conscious that I want the mass taken out :( Hoping your MRI leads to positive results!

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My dad decided he needed to power wash yesterday and he moved around some of my plants to do it. Which is fine if they were in the way, but I'm really irritated he wasn't more careful with them. A bunch of soil was dumped out of the pots I have my blueberries in and one of the bushes was totally uprooted and just plopped on top of what soil was left. The others roots were exposed, flowers were knocked off. It almost looks like they were dropped. Even the tags I had labeling the different kinds of blueberries are gone. If they fell out when he (I'm assuming) dropped my plants, would it really have been so much of a hassle to put the tags back? It also looks like a fruit was knocked off my meyer lemon bush, and my bag of fertilizer was just kind of carelessly tossed right into the pot with the plant. There's no need to brutalize them just because they were in the way of what he wanted to do. There's no reason not to move them carefully. And then put things back! When a bush was uprooted because apparently he couldn't handle it gently, how about putting it back and topping off the soil so it doesn't die from having all its roots exposed to the sun? And putting my labels back? And I don't even know how long they were sitting with roots exposed and stuff. I left the house by noon yesterday, when they were fine, and didn't get home until late, so I didn't notice anything wrong until this morning. For all I know they could've been like that all through the hottest part of the afternoon. I wasn't happy when I went to check on my plants today.

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3 hours ago, Need Coffee in an IV said:

still no sign of my cat. i am heart broken

I'm sorry. :( It's hard, but don't give up. My friend who lost her cat twice had just about given up all hope of ever getting her back both times, but both times she was able to get her back. Do you have any traps you could set up with maybe a favorite toy and some treats? And keep trying to get the word out about your missing cat. When I was younger, we had a cat who wandered off and was missing for awhile. One day, we were talking to someone who lives down the block and they started talking about how they'd found this stray cat they'd taken in. We went to meet their new cat and it turns out it was our cat who'd wandered off. He was living just a few houses down the whole time and we had no idea, and our neighbor had no idea that our cat was missing. If someone does pick your cat up, you'll probably find out sooner because of the microchip, but it could happen. Anyway, I just remember my friend telling me how heartbroken she was because she was sure she'd never see her cat again, and in the end it all worked out. But I know it's hard to stay optimistic. *hugs*

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So I got an email this morning saying I am a finalist for a New Investigators Award, which is amazing, but the winner will go to someone who is at the conference. Fair enough. I'm pissed because I can't go to the conference. I thought my old advisor would chip in maybe a few dollars, I had $350 from my current university for an international conference, plus I'd applied for funding from outside agencies. All in all the travel to the conference, plus conference fees themselves were coming out to be about $1500, and on my stipend (plus health and car costs I've had to eat this month) I couldn't justify the cost. My old advisor also told me that he was funding his two current students to go to the conference, even though they have no work that's being presented, and he couldn't give me anything. Fine, I understand that is the way academia works. I'm just frustrated because I'm losing out the opportunity to win a great award because I'm too poor to get to the conference. Agh!

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@angesradieux Thanks, I've constantly been updating the lost fb page. I've also left flyers and keep calling the animal shelter. I'm sick so I'm planning on going out there tomorrow. I've been replenishing the food and water bowl like he's still here. My neighbor thinks someone took him, he's seen sebastian be super friendly to other people. I've tried to walk around and talk while i'm looking. I've read on the internet that it makes them pop out. But after a dog attacked me i haven't  walked around that much. I feel very unsafe since animal control did nothing to help me. But my neighbor says he will be on the lookout for him.  @hippyscientist I hope you are feeling better! I hope so too, i'm trying to remain positive that he's just exploring. He's been gone for over two weeks now.  And I'm sorry about the whole conference thing!

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@Need Coffee in an IV I bet your cat is just hanging out in someone's house! There used to be a cat in my neighborhood who was so friendly and would always come begging for food. She had a cute little bobtail, too. However, she was really dirty and scruffy from living outside so I assumed she was a stray. If I didn't have my own indoor cats, I might have taken her in! However, after several months, a collar appeared on her, so somebody obviously owned her! It ended up being the people on the other side of my duplex. When they moved, she went with them. Anyway, the moral of the story is that if someone perceived your cat as a stray, he might just be chilling in someone's house right now, maybe even just down the road! People are really clueless sometimes and may not see your flyers for a while, just like my friend and her cat who lived with a neighbor a few houses down for several months until the lady finally saw a flyer.

Have you tried knocking on doors and asking if anyone has seen your cat? It's awkward to walk around knocking on doors and some people might not answer because they think you're trying to sell something, a Jehovah's witness, etc., but you could always leave a flyer with a note!

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Girl I liked in high school went to my undergraduate school. Before I learned this I said to myself, "Damn, that would be weird if she went here." She did.

Girl I like in my hometown is attending the same university I attend for grad school. Before I learned this I said to myself,  "Damn, we have a lot of things in common." Now we have too much in common.

What does this mean?

EDIT: Also, this semester totally sucks.

Edited by UrbanMidwest
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My fucking teaching still isn't up to par and I don't know why or what to do about it.  I worked so hard on it this semester, and the improvement was not as much as I would have liked.  And I'm afraid I won't pass comps because comps are subjective, and my teaching sucks!  It especially sucks because I'm the American, so I should have better teaching skills, or English skills at least.  (Maybe I should speak with an accent and say I come from a different country like Ross from Friends...)

 But they give me the hardest sections of the class with the most unmotivated, dumb students.  Not everyone is dumb, mind you, but they are night classes, and everyone works all day and then comes to my class- which they don't want to be at in the first place- and they have a hard time understanding things because they don't pay attention and are tired.  And I was tired too because I fucking went to class all day too and had to run straight from my last class halfway across campus, to teaching.  Give me a break!  I feel like I was set up to fail.  And I need to convince myself I was set up, because if I really am this crappy of a teacher, I don't want to teach.  

Edited by Cheshire_Cat
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I tell my mom I'm stressed and the immediate response is "What could you possibly be stressed about? You got into grad school, you should be on cloud nine. You have nothing to be stressed over." Not like moving over 800 miles away is stressful in and of itself or anything. Like yeah, I'm happy I got in. But lately there have been a lot of "lasts", it's hitting me that I'm leaving soon, and I'm having problems at work, so I'm stressed and emotional.


Then she wondered why I didn't want to talk to her about why I'm stressed. I flat out said that whenever I try to talk about why I'm upset, everyone just tells me I'm being stupid. She denied it. But that's literally what she just did! I said I'm stressed, and she launched into a lecture about why I shouldn't be stressed and how I should just be happy all the time. It's like I'm not allowed to have emotions. Maybe I wouldn't be *so* stressed out, upset, and emotional if I actually had someone who wasn't so judgemental to talk to.

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I wished someone had taught me about graduate school while I was an undergraduate. My GPA is excellent and so is my academic record and I could've gone straight from undergrad to grad but for some reason I thought for a second I could get a teaching license (I could not) so here I am, stuck with a gap year :mellow:

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Sometimes I get a little annoyed with two core beliefs my parents have: 1) that I can get into any job, program, whatever regardless of whether or not I am qualified, and 2) always chose the job that pays more money.

I am seeking summer employment because summer funding is pretty much nonexistent at my school. Last year I did an internship that was really aimed at undergraduates and while I enjoyed some of the work, a lot of it was manual labor that anybody could do, not just those in the natural resource/environmental fields, so I didn't really get a lot out of it and sometimes the work was hard and exhausting, especially when the temperatures got into the upper 90's (over 35 C for people living in the rest of the world). However, it actually paid better than my GTA stipend during the school year, which made it worth it in the end (yay money!).

So this time around, the same company that I did my internship with offered some more advanced positions that we much better aligned with my interests and skills - however, I didn't quite meet all of the qualifications and my schedule didn't really match up with what they needed. I applied anyway and got interviews, but ultimately was turned down. My parents were in complete disbelief even though they really didn't know anything about the work. My mom kept going on and on about how because I worked outside in previous jobs, it should count towards the experience this job required because it was also an outside job, as if somehow just working outside makes you qualified for any outdoor work.

I'm also interviewing next week for the same internship as last year and I think they will probably hire me again. However, the possibility exists that I might also get a summer GTA position. It depends on the schedules of those "ahead" of me on the list of students who want summer funding, and this year a lot of students will be out in the field and unable to commit to teaching. My parents asked what I'd do if offered both, and without hesitation I said I'd teach. Then I was lectured for about 10 minutes about how it's not very responsible of me to turn down a better paying job (even though the difference is maybe $300 or $400 per month and my husband works so it's not like I need that extra money). I tried to explain that teaching is really more appropriate for my career goals, I won't have to bake in the sun, and I'll end up with some free time between summer sessions to do things. However, they didn't seem to like my reasoning!

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I work part-time at a retail shop and was informed today that they need to cut down on employees/hours and since I'm the only employee not intending to work through the fall they were going to have to let me go now even though they said I could stay through the summer like a month ago... I am so upset. I have some money saved but this job was covering bills until I moved. Who's going to hire someone who is about move states in two months, you know?

ugh not a good week :(

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3 hours ago, ellieotter said:

I work part-time at a retail shop and was informed today that they need to cut down on employees/hours and since I'm the only employee not intending to work through the fall they were going to have to let me go now even though they said I could stay through the summer like a month ago... I am so upset. I have some money saved but this job was covering bills until I moved. Who's going to hire someone who is about move states in two months, you know?

ugh not a good week :(

That sucks! It's so obnoxious when an employer backstabs you and depending on the relationship with your employer, it can be really emotionally hurtful, too :( When I was an undergraduate, I worked full-time at a sandwich shop. The pay was crappy, but the full-time hours made it work. I bent over backwards for this employer and came in whenever anyone called off, did all kinds of extra work that no one else would bother to do, and basically had no life. The owner got a new girlfriend who owned a few apartments and one of her new tenants needed a job. Guess whose hours got cut in half so this new woman who zero experience in the food industry could work full-time? I was so upset about it. About 2 or 3 months later, a friend told me about a server position that was opening where she worked and I was offered almost full-time hours there. The sandwich shop was so pissed that I was leaving, but I was like "you shouldn't have given away my hours if you liked my work ethic so much!"

My advice to you is to try to find something seasonal if you can so that you can keep your savings. Amusement parks, water parks, summer camps, wedding venues... even places like movie theaters often need extra help in the summer. Temp agencies may also be able to help you, too, and sometimes you can find short-term jobs cleaning dorms or doing landscaping posted on Craigslist.

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