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Just got back my REB application with comments. I have 16 clarifications/changes to make to my application before resubmitting it. My supervisor is so busy, I have no idea when she'll have time to meet with me so we can start recruiting participants this Fall. 

 

One of my friends who I've had romantic feelings for for a while just told me that he also has those feelings. Tomorrow I move 7 hours away. I want to scream. 

I am so sorry. :( 

 

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I just want to know where I'll be in 6 months. I. Just. Want. To. Know.

Snow.   F*ckin' snow.   Can't they do anything about all the damned snow?!   Signed,  Everybody on the Eastern Seaboard.

thanks for sharing

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9 hours ago, iwearflowers said:

I'm so ready to be done with my full-time job. I've been unhappy here for a while, and now that the end is in sight it's super hard to stay motivated.

Been there, done that. It will be over soon, but I completely understand.

Me, I'm so ready to be done with grad school, while simultaneously freaking out about everything I have to get done between now and then. 639 days until graduation!

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A journalist contacted me regarding my op-ed and I literally want to turn down the offer because I hate interviews, I am so anxious just to think about it :( Plus, my op-ed was about a sensitive topic and I'm afraid I'm not the best person to speak about that

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On 7/27/2018 at 7:08 PM, E-P said:

Say no!  Just say you haven't made a decision one way or the other yet, and therefore you haven't wanted to resign.

I ended up saying no to submitting my letter. The conversation went something like this:

Me: "I'm not comfortable resigning right now. I would prefer to wait until I am positive I will actually be leaving and I have all the information"
VP: "If you think you're going to leave anyway, what does it matter if you get additional information?"
Me: "Well... Even if the news isn't relevant to me, it's not going to hurt me to get as much information as possible before I make an official decision. It seems pretty obviously in my best interests to just wait, unless you can give me some information to convince me otherwise?"
VP: "Well, you've expressed verbal intent to leave, so we wouldn't lay you off anyway knowing that you're leaving"
Me: "Wait, I never expressed intent to leave to anyone. I have never spoken to anyone at this company about this, and I'm not even positive I'm leaving. I know you heard that from [someone else outside the company]."
VP: "Yes, and I know that really sucks. But that's how it goes."

God, I am SO OVER THIS JOB. All the stress from doing things like arguing with VPs is getting to me. I'm a low-level employee in a reasonably large company, it's weird to even have to meet with VPs to discuss my employment, let alone argue with them over my resignation. I am counting down the days until I can be free of these people. ?

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15 hours ago, Adelaide9216 said:

A journalist contacted me regarding my op-ed and I literally want to turn down the offer because I hate interviews, I am so anxious just to think about it :( Plus, my op-ed was about a sensitive topic and I'm afraid I'm not the best person to speak about that

I am going to do the interview. #courage #anxiety 

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I'm living in campus housing in the fall, and I need to set up my electricity account with the provider before I can move in. Apparently this MUST be done over the phone, and the automated message warned me that the wait to speak to someone will be more than an hour! ?

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This is the pettiest complaint ever, but I can't help myself.

There are two people in my group who will be taking over my work, and it seems like the person I don't like is getting all of my cool projects. She's one of those competitive people that like to try to take credit for your work if you let her. I've spent so much time keeping her from sharing my ideas as her own and taking credit for my hard work that I don't want her to benefit from the foundations I've set up for these projects. I'd much rather give them to the other person in my group, who has been considerate and collaborative. I know I'm leaving and the mature thing to do would be to focus on the general success of my group and let the rest of it go. It's just hard to switch mindsets from "stop taking credit for my work" to "here, here's all my work, take all the credit for all future successes based off of my work". Although since my company seems to be having major financial issues, who knows how much future success is even on the table...

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I'm supposed to start grad school in the fall after working for a number of years. I'm absolutely dreading it. My old job was not very well paying, super easy, and didn't have much room for growth, but I'm really missing it. I think it's mostly missing the stability and guaranteed income, but those are important things to have.

 I'm beginning to doubt whether I should even bother with grad school. I'm also doubting whether the field I've chosen to study actually interests me. 

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Hi everyone.

I'm applying to grad school for Fall 2019 because I love doing history research, want to do it at the graduate level, and want to do it as a career. I'm applying to six schools because of the fit, placement, housing, etc. I'm also applying for the 2019 Teach for America corps (I applied last year but was rejected) to teach social studies, because I've loved working as a tutor and helping out in classrooms in the public school district in my city. The thing is, I want to do both. Both of them excite me. Getting a PhD has been my dream since I became a history major, primarily because of the creation of history. But it also excites me and inspired to try to make a difference through education, as cliche as it sounds. I realize it's a thankless job, that it's hard, that TFA is somewhat ethically ambiguous... But I want to do both. 

I don't know. I just needed to get my thoughts out there, I think! 

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5 hours ago, historygeek said:

But I want to do both. 

I don't know. I just needed to get my thoughts out there, I think! 

Square the circle.

Redo your due diligence on the programs to which you're applying. Look for opportunities to do your outside field in the school of education in a department or field that emphasizes teaching. As education programs are not known for their rigor, you'll have to keep yourself motivated to work as hard as you can to get all you can out of the classes.

During your first couple of summers, find teaching/mentoring programs that will welcome your participation (as you work on your language skills--and why not find a program in which you're tutoring a community that is an inheritor, if not originator, of the dynamics you want to study).

When it's your turn to work as a ta, you'll have plenty of opportunities to slack your thirst as a teacher. The thirty second time you hear "Will this be on the midterm?" will be your first of many opportunities to assess your commitment to teaching young people.

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I've been moved in a for a few weeks now and I just feel....lonely? I've been trying to meet people but I get so socially exhausted because there is no one here at all that I can fall back on for "real deep emotional talks". I also met my cohort yesterday and I had the same problem I always have with making friends in my field: all anyone wants to talk about is biology and their work. And when they do want to talk about their work they want to pretend they know exactly what they're doing. My dude, we haven't even started the program yet. It's the blind leading the blind out here. I know I need friends here. I know I need to put energy in to make friends. But damn that amount of energy is so high I feel like I'm getting nowhere.

Also: it's very hard to find a Dungeons and Dragons group here and that's getting me down. 

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On 8/17/2018 at 7:37 AM, Halek said:

I've been moved in a for a few weeks now and I just feel....lonely? I've been trying to meet people but I get so socially exhausted because there is no one here at all that I can fall back on for "real deep emotional talks". I also met my cohort yesterday and I had the same problem I always have with making friends in my field: all anyone wants to talk about is biology and their work. And when they do want to talk about their work they want to pretend they know exactly what they're doing. My dude, we haven't even started the program yet. It's the blind leading the blind out here. I know I need friends here. I know I need to put energy in to make friends. But damn that amount of energy is so high I feel like I'm getting nowhere.

Also: it's very hard to find a Dungeons and Dragons group here and that's getting me down. 

I'm also in biology and I have noticed at times that us biologists do tend to first focus on talking about our work but I found that that went away after the first few weeks of my masters. So it might just be that people in your program are comfortable taking about their work right now but will be willing to have deeper conversations later.

I am also one who likes to have "deep emotional talks" as you put it and I find that if I bring up those subjects early in conversing with a new person I just draw attention to my nature of being a pretty open book when it comes to more serious conversation topics. Kinda joke about it if I need to. I also let my conversation partner get to opening up to the same degree on their own time. I try not to press them into sharing to the same degree I do because I understand not everyone is comfortable with talking so seriously until they've spent more time with a person. Usually it works for me because at least I have someone to listen to the deeper topics I want to talk about and then eventually the person will feel comfortable enough themselves to share more openly as well.

As for when people talking about their work pretend to know everything, I think that's pretty typical at the start of a program. People don't want to make a first impression of being inept or behind other members of their cohort. Just remember that everyone is probably nervous to be starting this new thing and everyone probably has some imposter syndrome that they are trying to cover up.

Also as for D&D - do you have a group you could Skype/phone in on if you can't find a new group in your new location? I know it's not the same but it could get you through until you do eventually find a group.

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So I moved and I am happy of course but the first few days are tough because I am lonely in a mostly empty apartment. I hooked up with a guy last night too and it was awful lol. Why am I such an awkward person?

 

Page 100 of grown ups complaining about their lives. Yayyy!

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On 8/18/2018 at 3:24 PM, FishNerd said:

I'm also in biology and I have noticed at times that us biologists do tend to first focus on talking about our work but I found that that went away after the first few weeks of my masters. So it might just be that people in your program are comfortable taking about their work right now but will be willing to have deeper conversations later.

I am also one who likes to have "deep emotional talks" as you put it and I find that if I bring up those subjects early in conversing with a new person I just draw attention to my nature of being a pretty open book when it comes to more serious conversation topics. Kinda joke about it if I need to. I also let my conversation partner get to opening up to the same degree on their own time. I try not to press them into sharing to the same degree I do because I understand not everyone is comfortable with talking so seriously until they've spent more time with a person. Usually it works for me because at least I have someone to listen to the deeper topics I want to talk about and then eventually the person will feel comfortable enough themselves to share more openly as well.

As for when people talking about their work pretend to know everything, I think that's pretty typical at the start of a program. People don't want to make a first impression of being inept or behind other members of their cohort. Just remember that everyone is probably nervous to be starting this new thing and everyone probably has some imposter syndrome that they are trying to cover up.

Also as for D&D - do you have a group you could Skype/phone in on if you can't find a new group in your new location? I know it's not the same but it could get you through until you do eventually find a group.

Yeah, for the opening up to people thing, that's usually the approach I try to take too. I don't think it helps that for whatever reason they're really stressing that we need to make friends. The pressure doesn't help, especially if you're prone to social anxiety. 

As for the impostor syndrome, I've had it bad for a long time. So I guess the way I cope is to try to be open about it? I need to remember that most people probably haven't been dealing with impostor syndrome as a daily part of life for several years. 

For D&D I actually do have a group that I'm Skyping with from back at my previous job. However, I'm the DM for that group, so I'd really love to play. I think I might have actually found a group. I don't think they're grad students, or at the very least they're not in my department. That might be a good thing. Meet some people outside of science. 

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Lots of little things irking me right now, but no one in person who understands.

I'm moving after starting classes and it's been stressful. I've resorted to throwing everything into bins and zip-lock vacuum packs. I wanted to purge before moving, but overdid things this summer working 65-70 hours a week and left myself very little free time, so the purge will happen after the move. 

My adviser gave me my two year plan for my courses. She wants me to take a course that I'm at an extreme disadvantage to because I don't have the background yet as opposed to others taking the course. I expressed my concerns about the course, but she confident I will do well despite the fact that it will be "challenging." I really hope I'm not set up for failure here.

Also before this I had my courses and schedule figured out. I was originally told that I would not get any grad credit for undergrad courses I took and planned my schedule accordingly. Then was told I would be getting credit for at least 3 out of the 4 courses after all. Which is great, but my whole schedule had to be reworked and I just gave my boss at my side job the original schedule last week. Now I have to go back and change things again. Very frustrating.

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