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Favorite Rejection Quotes from the Results Page

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Not really a rejection but this was last year from a Sociology applicant at Cornell:

  • God, Buda, Odin, Ganesha, Jeff Bridges, Zlatan, Beyoncé, I pray to thee. Let someone find their golden choice and turn Cornell's offer down.

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Somebody's an All-Star....

 

ีUniversity Of Wisconsin - Madison Physics, PhD (F18) Rejected via Other on 14 Feb 2018  A 14 Feb 2018
  • Some-body once told me my study habits were going to role me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. I was lookin kinda dumb with my application done and the night I hit myself in the fore-head, cuz My scores were nowhere near good enough for this school. rip, I so badly wanted to go here. Didn't oficially get rejected but at this point I have given up hope.

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7 hours ago, LookingforMM said:

Somebody's an All-Star....

 

ีUniversity Of Wisconsin - Madison Physics, PhD (F18) Rejected via Other on 14 Feb 2018  A 14 Feb 2018
  • Some-body once told me my study habits were going to role me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. I was lookin kinda dumb with my application done and the night I hit myself in the fore-head, cuz My scores were nowhere near good enough for this school. rip, I so badly wanted to go here. Didn't oficially get rejected but at this point I have given up hope.

I definitely sang this response! :lol:

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this is giving me life :) some comments are so hilarious.

edit:...and sad.

Edited by Art21

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On 2/12/2018 at 11:39 AM, MsJaFall2018 said:
The University Of Denver Affective, Social, And Cognitive Psychology, PhD (F18) Rejected via Website on 9 Feb 2018  A 9 Feb 2018
  • Thought this program was my best shot and all the others I applied to already did interviews so it looks like I won't be going to grad school. It's fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine. I'll just give up on my dreams and live out my days as a secretary or something. nbd. Screw science anyway I should've been a history major vive la revolution

Oh my gosh, this one was my favorite but it was so far back I couldn't find it again. I've been quoting it all week! Every time anyone asks me a question I just go "It's fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine." And then just give them the crazy eyes or pretend to start crying. It's been great.

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4 hours ago, Navygrrl said:

Saw this one and LOL'd.

"

  • i guess my docs in all emojis were tooooo experimental

Same, some of the creative writing MFA responses are great.

I saw this one from last year, though it's actually an applicant rejecting the school:

City University Of New York (CUNY Hunter) Creative Writing (Fiction MFA)  Accepted    

after one of the strangest conversations of my life, I declined.

I am so curious... 

Also, I had to laugh because the Hunter MFA admissions page is quite possibly the most pretentious thing I have ever read in my life. 

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37 minutes ago, npc said:

 

City University Of New York (CUNY Hunter) Creative Writing (Fiction MFA)  Accepted    

after one of the strangest conversations of my life, I declined.

I am so curious... 

Also, I had to laugh because the Hunter MFA admissions page is quite possibly the most pretentious thing I have ever read in my life. 

Ooh, please share. I've had three really strong mojitos, and I'd love to read this.

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38 minutes ago, Navygrrl said:

Ooh, please share. I've had three really strong mojitos, and I'd love to read this.

I really wish the person posted their conversation but I understand why they didn't.

I know Hunter is a great program, but I was turned off completely and didn't apply. It seems like the faculty wants their egos stroked more than anything else.

Some highlights from Hunter's admissions page: (full page here: http://www.hunter.cuny.edu/creativewriting/how.shtml

 

When the online application form asks which other colleges you're applying to, if you don't list any colleges we'll assume you've applied to lots but would rather not say. If you are applying only to Hunter please write "Hunter Only." When we ask you what other colleges you have applied to we would really like to know.
 

4. 500 words explaining why you are right for us (and vice versa).
In administration-speak this is the “statement of purpose” that accompanies your application. In real life it’s  a 500 word letter in which you tell us who you are. Even more importantly, it is  your opportunity to tell us what you understand about where you are applying.

Before you write a word  you should have read the most important  work of the three writers who would teach you at Hunter. You should have also read their  interviews and visited their websites. You will have attended the Open House if that is possible. Lastly, you will have also read this website carefully. 

To check how successful your letter is, try changing the name Hunter to Iowa (or NYU or Michigan). If the resulting letter makes no sense it is absolutely perfect.’


6. Make sure you know who the faculty are
Your reasons for coming to Hunter might include its convenience on the subway, or the very reasonable tuition costs. These are both good reasons, but not what the Hunter MFA is all about, which is to assemble the best collection of students and faculty in the country. We'll be spending a lot of time reading your work and then finding out who you are. Likewise, to better understand what you are getting into, you should find out more about us. See Who will teach you.

 

(Translation of part 6: the faculty is the most important part and you better know it)

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@npc Thanks for the link. I suppose they want students that are applying for the "right" reasons, but the site really does turn me off. This is my first season of applications, and I admit I only decided to apply at the last minute, after recovering from the soul-crushing stress of finals, but I'd never heard of this program until Grad Cafe.

No notable quotes so far on rejections, but I've only been stalking it half-heartedly while watching Thor: The Dark World.

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Institution Program (Season) Decision & Date St1 Date Added Notes
University Of First World Problems MIT Or Harvard, PhD (S18) Other via Other on 19 Feb 2018 O 19 Feb 2018
  • report spam
  • I’m pretty sure I won’t get in anywhere I applied, but I’m straight up hooked on this site. My favorites are the posters that are all like, “Harvard called, but M.I.T. is only offering me a 33,000/year stipend.”

 

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I feel for this poster:

 

University Of Wisconsin- Madison (English) - Creative Writing Fiction, MFA (F18) Rejected via E-mail on 19 Feb 2018   20 Feb 2018

Major vibes right now: Being one of those writers who wastes away in self-imposed obscurity and is only discovered after their early demise, at which point they become a cult favorite beloved by chain-smoking teens who use obscure art to develop their senses of self. But in all seriousness, congrats to everyone who is getting into their dream programs, and best of luck to everyone still waiting to hear back. 0a/0w/2r/5 pending

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This one's not a rejection, but they sure do have a point (about the Results Search as an institution...).

Yale English, PhD (F18) Accepted via E-mail on 20 Feb 2018  A 20 Feb 2018
  • report spam
  • This place is a hellhole of anxiety and all of you should flee. This is my first time even checking this damn site. Also in at Stanford, Berkeley, Penn, Duke, and others. Go and cleanse yourselves!

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University Of Minnesota (English) - Creative Writing, MFA (F18) Rejected via E-mail on 20 Feb 2018 A 20 Feb 2018
  • report spam
  • 0 good schools/0 confused schools/2 schools that suck/10 pending Lied about liking Charles Baxter anyway, dude puts me to sleep.

Dead.

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