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Favorite Rejection Quotes from the Results Page


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"Alas, Harvard isn't ready for this jelly."

Ok, there was one (not going to try to find it) that said, after an acceptance, something like,   "I saw a moose today and took it as a good omen. It was."   And then someone afterwards who was re

"Fine! I'll go make my own geophysics department! With blackjack! And hookers!"

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From UMass Lowell, Physics:

"Upon inquiry and after an interview-- unofficially "waitlisted"... I expect a swift and absolute rejection will follow this great dishonor and shame my family. I must have shown more than ten percent of my true power this time, and startled them... Senpai, forgive meeee! ((performs hara-kiri))"

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University Of Mars Clinical Psychology, PhD (F19) Rejected via E-mail on 6 Feb 2019  U 6 Feb 2019
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  • "We have received an unprecedented number of exceptionally qualified applicants this year from across the Cosmos, including many from a hitherto undiscovered parallel dimension. Accordingly, we regrettably were forced to deny admission to many of Earth's mightiest applicants."

Whoever posted this: I would like to be your friend. Thanks.

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3 minutes ago, PsychWannabee said:
University Of Mars Clinical Psychology, PhD (F19) Rejected via E-mail on 6 Feb 2019  U 6 Feb 2019
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  • "We have received an unprecedented number of exceptionally qualified applicants this year from across the Cosmos, including many from a hitherto undiscovered parallel dimension. Accordingly, we regrettably were forced to deny admission to many of Earth's mightiest applicants."

Whoever posted this: I would like to be your friend. Thanks.

That application scored a 7.0 on the writing section of the GRE, too. That's just bad luck.

There's also a follow-up post, asking for their planet of interest! 

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1 hour ago, brightorangesocks said:

From UMass Lowell, Physics:

"Upon inquiry and after an interview-- unofficially "waitlisted"... I expect a swift and absolute rejection will follow this great dishonor and shame my family. I must have shown more than ten percent of my true power this time, and startled them... Senpai, forgive meeee! ((performs hara-kiri))"

Holy shit.  I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume the reason is their GPA.  I'm pretty sure I have an idea of what they were doing instead of studying...

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I will sacrifice a goat if you want me to HAHAHAHA whoever you are, can we be friends

University Of Chicago Physics, PhD (F19) Rejected via E-mail on 7 Feb 2019  U 8 Feb 2019
  • Applied for both astrophysics and physics. Fingers crossed I get astro? UChicago I will sacrifice a goat if you want me to.
Edited by CancerBiology
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University Of Californa, Los Angeles (UCLA) Sociology, PhD (F19) Rejected via Website on 9 Feb 2019  A 9 Feb 2019
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  • Nothing like waking up to a rejection from your dream school right before getting your wisdom teeth out. Bring me all the PaAAaiiiNnN.

 

Whoever did this I would like you to know I was shaking from opening my own UCLA rejection (that's how my body is coping with this, apparently, no tears but lots of shaking ?) and I saw this and burst into guffaws. Had to tell my mom I got another rejection so I could explain what was funny but the laugh was worth it. 

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University Of Michigan English, PhD (F19) Rejected via E-mail on 13 Feb 2019 I 13 Feb 2019
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  • GPA is from MA. Next in the seminal series of coping with rejection: cry in the shower, gain 5 pounds, have an icecream tummy, talk to oneself in the mirror, and then go back into the dark abyss of applying again.
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