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Maybe Im over thinking this. But say I notify a school Im declining an offer. Then they hit me back with more funding. And I'm still like, "Nah, dude. I'm cool." And then they be like, "Well, where are you going?" 

 

Should I answer. Seems a little intrusive and nosy, being that it is the graduate secretary asking me this, not even a DGS or POI. I'm scared there are some little chivatos up in there that might try and get in touch with where I'm going and wreck my style. Is it safer to just ignore this nosy vieja or what? No other program I declined was like this.

Edited by Fiz
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All the departments where I declined an offer or asked to be removed from the wait list asked me where I was going instead. I think they do this because they track it and keep private stats concerning which schools they get turned down for, but I can't prove it. I just didn't provide that information in my response - it is honestly none of their business, and as we no longer have an association, I see no reason to tell them.

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Some of the schools I declined asked where I was going. One DGS specifically mentioned that they use the list of their rival departments (disossiated from the names of the students that went there) for when they're proding the graduate division for more funding.

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I agree with David. The school wants to know because it can be used as information to make the program more attractive to future students. So while I wouldn't necessarily divulge an entirely negative view of a program, if there is a discrete reason you chose against a school that is within their control to change (e.g. Funding, teaching opportunities) then it's not a bad idea to mention. You don't have to of course but some future student may thank you

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I just had a school I declined specifically e-mail me to ask where I was going. I haven't answered yet because I'm not sure I want to. I mean, it could help the school, so maybe I will. It feels a little weird though. The other offer I declined didn't ask.

 

Edit: They did, however, explicitly state that the information would be for their records, which I assume means they want to keep track of where people are deciding to go instead for some sort of constructive purpose.

Edited by shortstack51
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Haha, I never thought I would see the word "metiche" on grad cafe! Hey, Fiz, congrats on accepting Urbana-Champaign!

Haha! It was the first thought that popped into my mind when i read the interrogating email!

Thanks, man! Where did you end up going? San Diego?

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I was asked where I'm going by a department I turned down, so I told them. They replied and said that's the second time in two years that a student has turned them down for that particular school, so it is helpful for their records.

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The schools I turned down also asked me which program I was attending instead and why I chose it. They either said they were just asking out of curiosity and/or for their records. I'm assuming they do so in order to figure out how they can better strengthen their program. I answered every school that asked, but didn't give many details about why I made my choice, mostly because I felt a little weird about explaining too much.

 

But I agree with everyone else, I don't think there's much harm in answering. Plus, I can't imagine any one particular school will much remember someone specifically for turning down an offer, as that happens all the time.

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Kind of unrelated, but I thought it was more weird when a school didn't respond at ALL when I declined the offer. Everywhere else asked where I was going/wished me luck (which I thought was a pretty generic, but collegial, response), but one school just did not reply...

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I decided to go with UCSB. I was really looking forward to moving to another part of California (SB is too stuffy for me), but it was a matter of fit.

HELL YEA! Santa Barbara!! I wanted so badly to get in there but i wasnt cut of their cloth. Congrats man! That is one bitchin school and program!!

I must admit...im a little jealous haha!

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Maybe Im over thinking this. But say I notify a school Im declining an offer. Then they hit me back with more funding. And I'm still like, "Nah, dude. I'm cool." And then they be like, "Well, where are you going?" 

 

Should I answer. Seems a little intrusive and nosy, being that it is the graduate secretary asking me this, not even a DGS or POI. I'm scared there are some little chivatos up in there that might try and get in touch with where I'm going and wreck my style. Is it safer to just ignore this nosy vieja or what? No other program I declined was like this.

When I read the topic title I busted up...it only got better when I read the post.  :P

 

As for your dilemma, from what I hear this is standard practice. Thankfully I scanned the posts before I finished this so yeah, what zabka and davidipse said!

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