Jump to content
procedural memory

Waiting Game--how do you deal with the waiting anxiety?

Recommended Posts

I am glad to see it is normal to be obsessed over checking email/phone/websites for some response. My 2nd choice accepted me rather early (a few days after the applications were due), and I mistakenly thought that would make me feel better. However, it seems to only make me wonder even more. I am reading about so many schools already sending out acceptance letters, but it seems likely, that in reality, I will still be worrying into February. So thanks for all of the ideas on how to pass the time. I have planned out moving to various locations, and living arrangements in those places while waiting. Anyone else have places to live picked out? 

 

_______________________

PHD Fall 2015

 

Applied    5

Accepted 1

Rejected  0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Does anyone ever contact their POIs during the wait out period? Is that an extremely un-kosher thing to do?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Does anyone ever contact their POIs during the wait out period? Is that an extremely un-kosher thing to do?

 

I wouldn't without good reason.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I thought I had the waiting game down to a pat, given that I've gone through two cycles of grad school applications in the past before this one (for different types of schools/programs). 

 

I've proven myself completely wrong. 

 

I haven't gotten to the obsessive email checking. But I've been reading the websites of the departments to which I applied, and then trying to see whether I submitted everything that had been requested. Also, I've apparently been talking about the whole application process with my parents ever since I've been home for break. While they're willing to lend an ear, they've been commenting that I look stressed and tired. 

 

I can't believe that results will start coming around in a month. Given my former day job, I've always been the type to mentally prepare for the worst and always have a plan B---but in this case I've not thought about the worst (I mean, I have, but not in the way of preparing myself for it) nor do I have a plan B. It sounds silly but I put heart and soul into those apps and I simply don't have the energy or the willpower to think about anything else right now...

 

It's going to be a long couple of months. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OK. So I finally broke down and went to the local bookstore and bought Murakami's Strange Library and Tartt's Goldfinch. I almost added Catton's The Luminaries to the pile as well. I think these two should keep me occupied for a bit...if I finish them within a week or two, there's always War and Peace

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So, the deadlines for most of my applications are not passed yet, and I am already freaking out ...

I don't know how I'll keep my sanity till march!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

books, lots of books!

I read books for leisure and did not allow myself to read one scientific book... although I broke the rules by reading the madam curie complex.... but that was not on par with the typical scientific papers I read.

 

read books, read the new york times. I read how different hard ciders were made, like different hard apple ciders and pear ciders, just for fun. I still have the knowledge today but it was a fun and interesting way to pass the time. I also learned how different roasts of coffee were made and how the caffeine content varies between dark and light roasts. 

 

At first I thought " I am going to exercise a lot" then a month in I did nothing, because I was afraid I would miss a phone call from an adcom member. I gained about 15 pounds doing nothing. Then i started working out and was like "I am going to get in the best shape of my life" and I did! 

 

Enjoy the limbo time in between, you won't have many more opportunities like this in life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

books, lots of books!

I read books for leisure and did not allow myself to read one scientific book... although I broke the rules by reading the madam curie complex.... but that was not on par with the typical scientific papers I read.

 

read books, read the new york times. I read how different hard ciders were made, like different hard apple ciders and pear ciders, just for fun. I still have the knowledge today but it was a fun and interesting way to pass the time. I also learned how different roasts of coffee were made and how the caffeine content varies between dark and light roasts. 

 

At first I thought " I am going to exercise a lot" then a month in I did nothing, because I was afraid I would miss a phone call from an adcom member. I gained about 15 pounds doing nothing. Then i started working out and was like "I am going to get in the best shape of my life" and I did! 

 

Enjoy the limbo time in between, you won't have many more opportunities like this in life.

 

My new year's resolution is to eat/drink lots of greens and then exercise tons. That will come at the end of January when I get back to my place and I can be the master of my own time again---until then I'm spending time with family. :)

 

While I'm at it, I may start writing again. And perhaps a studio art class for fun, to take my mind off of things. 

Edited by fancypants09

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Playing video games is a surefire way of keeping you busy enough. Especially in single-player campaigns where the estimated completion time is around ~40 hours or so... Or is that too childish for a sophisticated young adult who has aspirations about going to graduate school and changing the way we look at a particular field? :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm learning how to cook creative (and sorta gourmet) food with what I find around my kitchen!

Also, I want to take a week-long phone/email/social media hiatus, but my research job and - ironically - knowledge that programs may be emailing me makes that a difficult plan to put into action. The last time I did that, it was very, very helpful, though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I threw myself into my other career while waiting. Also, if you happen to be married or have kids like me, they'll keep you plenty busy. :) Not that it makes it easy by any means....but distractions do help. I also went out on lunch dates with friends, etc. Busy, busy, busy. That was my mantra.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As an international student, the anxiety is huge. I check my email even though I know it is already late night in America. I worried about my application and visa at the same time. I could not sleep at night because I keep thinking about my emails. To be honest, if I live in US now, I would fly to the admission office, sitting in their office, hand my materials, staring at those professors until they make their decisions. I guess I am kind of crazy now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So far I've been doing a lot of pleasure reading: about one book every 2 days. Its a costly habit.

 

I'm hoping to get back in to weightlifting because that was a hobby of mine that I used to enjoy before grad school and was actually good at it. My boyfriend and I are going to start meal planning/prep on Monday, so hopefully that will motivate me to lift. I've been thinking about starting running again, as I used to run half marathons about once or twice a month, but it just sounds so boring now. 

 

I find that I'm having a hard time adjusting to all of the down time I have. During the semester, I have class more than full time and two jobs; I'm doing something every day of the week. Unfortunately, one of my jobs is at a community college, so after finals I went from working/having class 7 days a week to just serving at a cafe on Saturday and Sunday mornings. My friends are all servers who work nights, and my boyfriend manages a restaurant where he puts in 60+ hours at his job, often forcing him to come home around 4 am on the weekends. Basically, I'm really freaking bored. And I'm trying to save money in case I have to move which means not going out.

 

All of this down time means I stress out more often than I should. I'm not handling the wait very well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So far I've been doing a lot of pleasure reading: about one book every 2 days. Its a costly habit.

 

I'm hoping to get back in to weightlifting because that was a hobby of mine that I used to enjoy before grad school and was actually good at it. My boyfriend and I are going to start meal planning/prep on Monday, so hopefully that will motivate me to lift. I've been thinking about starting running again, as I used to run half marathons about once or twice a month, but it just sounds so boring now. 

 

I find that I'm having a hard time adjusting to all of the down time I have. During the semester, I have class more than full time and two jobs; I'm doing something every day of the week. Unfortunately, one of my jobs is at a community college, so after finals I went from working/having class 7 days a week to just serving at a cafe on Saturday and Sunday mornings. My friends are all servers who work nights, and my boyfriend manages a restaurant where he puts in 60+ hours at his job, often forcing him to come home around 4 am on the weekends. Basically, I'm really freaking bored. And I'm trying to save money in case I have to move which means not going out.

 

All of this down time means I stress out more often than I should. I'm not handling the wait very well.

 

This pretty much sounds like my life right now—broke, working, finishing school, boyfriend works second shift at a hospital and is often gone weekends until at least midnight... I don't really have many friends in my MA program, but the two people I did things with outside of school fairly regularly are on vacation during the break. I work at the office of communications at my school editing copy, so I still go to work, but there isn't anything to do while classes aren't in session. Mostly I just look at my half-written thesis and want to cry.

 

I feel sort of silly talking about it, but I have been doing the Blogilates calendars (well, the January beginners' calendar and 30 days to flat abs challenge, going to upgrade to the regular January calendar starting tomorrow). I'm starting a dance class on Monday that I tried to do last session but had to stop because I got too busy with finals. I have also been eating a low-carb diet and cooking a lot (also saves money and fills my time). I am in some kind of insane brain world where being 110 lbs with a flat stomach is about as likely as my getting into Stanford—but getting fit is the only one I can do anything about. If one of those two things happens, I will feel very accomplished. If both happen, I won't have to be a fatass in California where it is warm and people wear shorts all the time.

 

So...the waiting interim is the perfect time to get some sexy abs (or arms, or legs).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

I feel sort of silly talking about it, but I have been doing the Blogilates calendars (well, the January beginners' calendar and 30 days to flat abs challenge, going to upgrade to the regular January calendar starting tomorrow). I'm starting a dance class on Monday that I tried to do last session but had to stop because I got too busy with finals. I have also been eating a low-carb diet and cooking a lot (also saves money and fills my time). I am in some kind of insane brain world where being 110 lbs with a flat stomach is about as likely as my getting into Stanford—but getting fit is the only one I can do anything about. If one of those two things happens, I will feel very accomplished. If both happen, I won't have to be a fatass in California where it is warm and people wear shorts all the time.

 

So...the waiting interim is the perfect time to get some sexy abs (or arms, or legs).

 

Crazy, I was thinking about starting the Blogilates calendars. I just followed her on Tumblr to see if I want to start in February. I'm thinking about taking adult ballet classes since I danced for 15 years of my life, but quality studios are expensive and I'm not sure where I placed my shoes when I moved this summer. What kind of dance are you looking in to? Do you mind me asking where you're applying to in CA? I applied to UCSD, UCI, and USC. I'd prefer to change states, though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Crazy, I was thinking about starting the Blogilates calendars. I just followed her on Tumblr to see if I want to start in February. I'm thinking about taking adult ballet classes since I danced for 15 years of my life, but quality studios are expensive and I'm not sure where I placed my shoes when I moved this summer. What kind of dance are you looking in to? Do you mind me asking where you're applying to in CA? I applied to UCSD, UCI, and USC. I'd prefer to change states, though.

 

I would just jump into the January calendar (start now!). I am taking a belly dancing class. It was reasonably priced (something like $10 a class for students) and I really like the instructor. I've pretty much enjoyed every dance class I have ever taken though except hip-hop, which was a disaster; I am too uncoordinated. I used to take ballet and loved it—first at a really great community type studio that was mostly a lot of older dancers and then at my undergraduate college—but I am not very graceful and always feel uncomfortable because I do not have a ballerina's physique. I love the strength/discipline aspect of it though, which I am getting from the pilates now. Cassie's videos similarly combine strength training with cardio. I took a pilates class a few years ago, but I find these videos a lot more challenging.

 

I applied to Stanford (MTL) and UC-Berkeley (Rhetoric). Both have kind of impossible odds, so I am probably not moving to California any time soon.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I applied to Stanford (MTL) and UC-Berkeley (Rhetoric). Both have kind of impossible odds, so I am probably not moving to California any time soon.

Lol same...I guess I can look at videos of California weather on the internet 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lol same...I guess I can look at videos of California weather on the internet

I actually chose not to apply to any schools in California because I would hate to live there. Lol. Most of my family is from Los Angeles and it's just... ick. There are some nice things about it, but there is also smog, so I can't deal. Northern California is not bad though I guess.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lol same...I guess I can look at videos of California weather on the internet 

It rained in here in San Diego yesterday and it was literally on the news all day. What is this strange sky-water?!?!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I took up knitting again. When people comment on how beautiful it is or how much progress I made in a short time, I respond with, "Yes! This is my I-so-stressed-out-waiting-for-application-results scarf! It's better than stuffing my face with chocolate, right?" That prompts the dreaded question of "Oh. What's your plan B?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I actually chose not to apply to any schools in California because I would hate to live there. Lol. Most of my family is from Los Angeles and it's just... ick. There are some nice things about it, but there is also smog, so I can't deal. Northern California is not bad though I guess.

 

Similar story here. I grew up in LA/OC in SoCal and it's just not my cup of tea. I don't like being outside. I don't like the sun. I like cozy fires and bars that are 100 years old (hence my applications to schools in New England, NYC, and the UK).

 

I've applied to four schools in California though, because my parents are aging and I want to be close to them if I can. 

 

This past holiday season, on my trip back home, I tried to get more into the Jet Set era of Los Angeles. The art, the architecture, the history. Watched 'Los Angeles Plays Itself' on Netflix. That actually kindof got me into the mood of "okaaayyyy I can see living here again."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.