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NSF GRFP 2017-18

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41 minutes ago, kitterkat said:

I'm in Hawaii so I'll be spending my evening going between refreshing email and forbidding myself to even *look* at email (1-6 EDT is 7pm-12am here lol, will def be awake)...

I don't know what is worse...knowing you'll be awake for it , knowing you'll wake up to it, the loss of sleep from it or the panicked waking up in the middle of the night. It is possible that all are equally terrible! 

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4 hours ago, cemeterydr1ve said:

It's all been leading to tomorrow morning, when you see that email in your inbox. I predict that I'll just stare at it for like 10 mins before finally opening it. 

Dread it, run from it, destiny still arrives.

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57 minutes ago, Behavecol said:

I don't know what is worse...knowing you'll be awake for it , knowing you'll wake up to it, the loss of sleep from it or the panicked waking up in the middle of the night. It is possible that all are equally terrible! 

I went to the liquor store and got a 6 pack of Peroni to help me pass the time and sleep tonight. Good luck everyone and do post here if you get it. I don’t expect to being an undergraduate but I look forward to the feedback.

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I feel strangely zen about it. Of course, I am eager to know the result, but I know that (at this stage, at least) it is not a make-or-break for me. Naturally, I realize that not all of us are in the same situation. I think part of it comes from being an undergrad applicant. There is always next year and I have already identified some more fellowships to which I will apply next year (assuming that I am not awarded).

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1 hour ago, Behavecol said:

I don't know what is worse...knowing you'll be awake for it , knowing you'll wake up to it, the loss of sleep from it or the panicked waking up in the middle of the night. It is possible that all are equally terrible! 

Agreed! 

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16 minutes ago, EliosHarg said:

I feel strangely zen about it. Of course, I am eager to know the result, but I know that (at this stage, at least) it is not a make-or-break for me. Naturally, I realize that not all of us are in the same situation. I think part of it comes from being an undergrad applicant. There is always next year and I have already identified some more fellowships to which I will apply next year (assuming that I am not awarded).

This is the right attitude.

I know we are all anxious, which is 100% understandable, but it worries me seeing how some people are blocked by the expectation, and unable to keep on working while waiting for this. It is very likely that our careers will be a constant wait for results (i.e. grant, publication, etc.). Many will hate me for saying this, but if this kind of thing impedes your work, then this is perhaps not the field for you.

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1 hour ago, Behavecol said:
41 minutes ago, EveryDay said:

 Many will hate me for saying this, but if this kind of thing impedes your work, then this is perhaps not the field for you.

 

Eh, I think it is just something to identify and work on.

I think that graduate school is a great time to identify traits/habits that interrupt productivity, and actively work to fix them. Everyone here is somewhere between undergrad and their second year; there is still plenty of time to work on how you handle stress, anticipation, uncertainty, etc. I think it's a bit soon to throw the baby out and conclude that research/science/academia isn't the field for any specific person here.

And this is coming from someone whose productivity has not been impeded whatsoever by the NSF GRFP. But I can understand that some people are simply more anxious, and some people might have more riding on this than I do. 

(And somehow I completely screwed up the quotations in this comment!)

Edited by cemeterydr1ve

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This might be a weird or misguided question, but while we still don’t know I’ll go ahead and ask. 

Say you get an HM. What do you do with that? Is that just like a resumé booster? I’m a second year grad student, so I can’t apply again. And I’m assuming there’s no money for HMs. So what do you gain from an HM? 

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13 minutes ago, pinkcrystalthumb said:

This might be a weird or misguided question, but while we still don’t know I’ll go ahead and ask. 

Say you get an HM. What do you do with that? Is that just like a resumé booster? I’m a second year grad student, so I can’t apply again. And I’m assuming there’s no money for HMs. So what do you gain from an HM? 

You get time on national computing clusters if that does anything for you but besides that it's just resume

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Haha I didn't even get into grad school, I've stopped really caring about the NSF GRFP. My favorite Ivy is so rich and pretentious that they don't care if you get the GRFP or not, and won't rescind your rejection if you get the award. If I get the GRFP I'll probably be the only person who will have to decline it. Just thought I'd post about my apathy and to remind everybody who is anxious about the GRFP and has gotten into grad school that at least you're not as much of a wretch as I am right now. I'm graduating near the top of my class at another ivy league school, with publications, and I still couldn't get into grad school. 

I don't know why I watch this thread. Execution day already came and went for me.

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17 minutes ago, WhoEvenCares said:

Haha I didn't even get into grad school, I've stopped really caring about the NSF GRFP. My favorite Ivy is so rich and pretentious that they don't care if you get the GRFP or not, and won't rescind your rejection if you get the award. If I get the GRFP I'll probably be the only person who will have to decline it. Just thought I'd post about my apathy and to remind everybody who is anxious about the GRFP and has gotten into grad school that at least you're not as much of a wretch as I am right now. I'm graduating near the top of my class at another ivy league school, with publications, and I still couldn't get into grad school. 

I don't know why I watch this thread. Execution day already came and went for me.

This is literally the saddest thing I've ever ready. To poster: Please cheer up. Screw the schools that did not accept you, I'm sure you are an amazing candidate. Have a lil faith that you'll end up in the place you are meant to be in. I know that sounds like a cliche but sometimes believing in that is the only way to get yourself through. Just stay positive. Sending good vibes your way that you get some good news in a few hours. Either way I hope that you can find some happiness in your current situation. 

Edited by amibleeding

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25 minutes ago, WhoEvenCares said:

Haha I didn't even get into grad school, I've stopped really caring about the NSF GRFP. My favorite Ivy is so rich and pretentious that they don't care if you get the GRFP or not, and won't rescind your rejection if you get the award. If I get the GRFP I'll probably be the only person who will have to decline it. Just thought I'd post about my apathy and to remind everybody who is anxious about the GRFP and has gotten into grad school that at least you're not as much of a wretch as I am right now. I'm graduating near the top of my class at another ivy league school, with publications, and I still couldn't get into grad school. 

I don't know why I watch this thread. Execution day already came and went for me.

OP, not getting into grad school sucks. It just does. My best friend in college didn't get in anywhere her first time applying, and it was devastating. BUT she reapplied the next year and had some of the most amazing choices. Totally fair to feel shitty rn..but don't give up!

Edited by kitterkat

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I just don't understand life anymore. I did everything they asked for. I had the GPA, the GRE, the publications, the Ivy League school, 3 fantastic recommendation letters, one from a big name in the field. It isn't like I'm some hopeful with crap scores and no publications hoping to get in. I can't believe I'm in the pool of people who don't get into grad school with everything that I did. I sacrificed every day of my undergrad to get this. I ended friendships because they were sapping the time I needed to put in to make sure I got into grad school. I have cried at least once a week for the past four years slaving over this. I didn't even get into this Ivy League school like all the legitimate people who actually deserved to...I transferred here. I just don't know why the world keeps punishing me. I read the acceptances and rejections list that people post on this forum for grad programs and all I see are "I can't believe it, I finally accomplished my childhood dream of getting into school/program X" and I've never felt that way in my entire life. Why can't things go my way for once? Why can't I be a legitimate success like all those people? What more do you want from me, universe, I've done everything already!!!!! The person I was dating got into every single school I've ever wanted to go to, so I dumped them. Now I'm left without a grad school, a partner, or a future. You win life. I give up. I've started applying to dead end jobs making minimum wage because I can't keep convincing myself I might actually be somebody some day when the world keeps laughing at all my efforts. Four years wasted. I just can't do it anymore. 

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26 minutes ago, kitterkat said:

OP, not getting into grad school sucks. It just does. My best friend in college didn't get in anywhere her first time applying, and it was devastating. BUT she reapplied the next year and had some of the most amazing choices. Totally fair to feel shitty rn..but don't give up!

This though. I had a friend apply three times and then ended up at Berkeley. There’s so many factors at play that if you don’t get in the first time don’t hesitate to reapply. There are so many ways it isn’t personal. 

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5 minutes ago, WhoEvenCares said:

I just don't understand life anymore. I did everything they asked for. I had the GPA, the GRE, the publications, the Ivy League school, 3 fantastic recommendation letters, one from a big name in the field. It isn't like I'm some hopeful with crap scores and no publications hoping to get in. I can't believe I'm in the pool of people who don't get into grad school with everything that I did. I sacrificed every day of my undergrad to get this. I ended friendships because they were sapping the time I needed to put in to make sure I got into grad school. I have cried at least once a week for the past four years slaving over this. I didn't even get into this Ivy League school like all the legitimate people who actually deserved to...I transferred here. I just don't know why the world keeps punishing me. I read the acceptances and rejections list that people post on this forum for grad programs and all I see are "I can't believe it, I finally accomplished my childhood dream of getting into school/program X" and I've never felt that way in my entire life. Why can't things go my way for once? Why can't I be a legitimate success like all those people? What more do you want from me, universe, I've done everything already!!!!! The person I was dating got into every single school I've ever wanted to go to, so I dumped them. Now I'm left without a grad school, a partner, or a future. You win life. I give up. I've started applying to dead end jobs making minimum wage because I can't keep convincing myself I might actually be somebody some day when the world keeps laughing at all my efforts. Four years wasted. I just can't do it anymore. 

I didn't get into anything the first time around either. Don't give up. Did you apply to any backup schools? Perhaps try to apply to a wider range of schools the next time around?

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I would rather die than go to some safety school again like my freshman year. That was the worst year of my life. I was angry and mean to everybody around me, it was hardly even worth going to college that year. I'm never doing that again.

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7 minutes ago, WhoEvenCares said:

I just don't understand life anymore. I did everything they asked for. I had the GPA, the GRE, the publications, the Ivy League school, 3 fantastic recommendation letters, one from a big name in the field. It isn't like I'm some hopeful with crap scores and no publications hoping to get in. I can't believe I'm in the pool of people who don't get into grad school with everything that I did. I sacrificed every day of my undergrad to get this. I ended friendships because they were sapping the time I needed to put in to make sure I got into grad school. I have cried at least once a week for the past four years slaving over this. I didn't even get into this Ivy League school like all the legitimate people who actually deserved to...I transferred here. I just don't know why the world keeps punishing me. I read the acceptances and rejections list that people post on this forum for grad programs and all I see are "I can't believe it, I finally accomplished my childhood dream of getting into school/program X" and I've never felt that way in my entire life. Why can't things go my way for once? Why can't I be a legitimate success like all those people? What more do you want from me, universe, I've done everything already!!!!! The person I was dating got into every single school I've ever wanted to go to, so I dumped them. Now I'm left without a grad school, a partner, or a future. You win life. I give up. I've started applying to dead end jobs making minimum wage because I can't keep convincing myself I might actually be somebody some day when the world keeps laughing at all my efforts. Four years wasted. I just can't do it anymore. 

this is a hard lesson that everyone learns eventually. you can do everything right and things don't have to go your way. just remember that none of that is stopping you. your dreams die only when you give up. not before, not after.

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