AmyPat

I know; I certainly hate to think that anyone but the graders has time to go over my essay at their leisure. I'd prefer for it to disappear.

Yes, absolutely.

I've read both that they are sent with scores, and that they are not.

That is in fact very helpful. I've been wondering how much weight they will give to the essay where I'm applying (it's University of Houston, and the program is brand new). They told me that there is no minimum required GRE score, but that they will be "looking closely" at verbal and essay scores. Since I've been out of school so long, they don't have professor recs to judge by, and my gpa wasn't stellar (3.12) but my school was a big name (Carnegie Mellon). They did let me write a new paper in lieu of work samples, which they praised. And they're being very accommodating about my lack of professor recs. I'm hoping that as it's a new program it will be easier to get into now than in the future.

Yes, that was my train of thought. Need to make that connection clearer. Thanks!

Thank you so much for the feedback! I think I just need to get a lot faster, because I was thinking as I wrote that I was using a lot of passive, and had I had time to edit, I could have reworded many of those sentences. And as for adding examples and addressing instances when the argument could be true, again, not enough time. Must practice and get faster.

Hello, I'm applying to a MA rhet/comp program for fall 2014. I'm an (ahem) older student; been out of school a very long time and haven't taken a standardized test in decades. It's a practice essay from the Kaplan book--the first practice essay I've done. Would anyone be willing to read it and give feedback? Thanks. Prompt: Because people increasingly eat at restaurants, all restaurants should be required to display nutritional information about the meals they serve. This knowledge makes it easier for diners to make healthy choices and reduces the risk of diet-related health problems. Write an essay in which you take a position on the statement above. In developing and supporting your viewpoint, consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true. Essay: There is a recent trend in restaurants toward displaying nutritional information on menus. Proponents argue that since more people than ever before are eating in restaurants, the risk of diet-related health problems would be reduced if such information was available to customers. While people should certainly have all the information they want on what they are eating, there are three problems with this argument. The first is that it cannot be stated with any certainty that people are eating at restaurants more than ever. The second problem is that what is "healthful" is by no means agreed upon, and what information should be included on all menus is not clear. Thirdly, there is no evidence that knowing any amount of nutritional information about menu items will cause a diner to choose the "healthiest," whatever that may be. It is by no means certain that people are increasingly eating at restaurants. While it is true that disposable income is higher now than in past generations, it is also true that unemployment is higher than a generation ago. Nor does the current low state of the economy encourage such luxuries as eating out for many people. It is simply not possible to state that people are eating out more nowadays than in the past. Restaurant menu information may not be an effective way to educate most people about their food choices. Moreover, even if most people were eating out frequently and depended upon menu information to make healthy food choices, there is less and less agreement about what constitutes "healthy" food. Is healthy food low in fat? Low in carbohydrates? Low in calories? Unprocessed? Not genetically engineered? Organically grown? Every customer may want different information, and may make different choices based on the same information. There is currently no agreement on what information will help a diner make the healthiest choice. Finally, it has not been demonstrated that any nutritional information on menus influences people's choices at all. People don't necessarily go to restaurants, when they do go, to have a "healthy" meal. They go for all kinds of reasons unrelated to food--to socialize, to celebrate, to relax. Often the intention is to splurge--to forget the diet and have a good time. In such circumstances, diners may even be put off by nutritional information right on the menu. While it can be argued that people have the right to know what's in their food, it is not clear that putting nutritional information on restaurant menus will improve the health of society across the board.