swk0205

Topic: To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position. My Response: Society is comprised of numerous concepts such as theory, economy, arts, science, and the list goes on; however, these all boil down to one, people. To study society, one must study the people in the society and people live most in the cities. Therefore, when studying important characteristics of a society, cities are a crucial component to examine. New York is an exemplar of a big city since it is the biggest city in the world and is the financial hub. Today, New York impacts not only the United States but all the countries across the glove. When the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) faces a significant downturn, almost all the markets of the world feel the negative effects as well and the economy of the society takes an impact. Moreover, the economy is what actually shapes the country itself. During the IMF crisis in South Korea, the paradigm of people shifted immensely. My uncle was a risk-taker investing money from stock options to his own hobbies. Unfortunately, he lost a nontrivial sum of money and now seeks to just keep his job for stability. This applies not only to my uncle but for numerous other Koreans who had been affected by the IMF as well. Hence, big cities such as New York can impact society economically and subsequently, this affects the people. When money flows through a city, the city begins to improve its infrastructure by investing more money. With the invested money, a handful of tech-savvy intellectuals will be scouted into that city for installing, updating, or inventing technologies. For example, the city officials constantly try to improve the roads and transportation routes to reduce congestion during rush hours. Once a sophisticated technology is utilized in a city and is proven to be safe and efficient, the government will manipulate that technology to apply it across the entire country. From roads in cities, the government will build a interstate highways and other roads using systems that have been proved successful in cities. Once technology grows in cities, other places even rural areas are affected by these technologies as well and ultimately affects society. Although cities such as New York bring in much wealth to the country, one can not neglect the fact that the rural industries contribute a huge sum as well. Rural parts of Illinois for example has a booming biorefinery business that can't be overlooked financially and technologically. Moreover, some of the technologies invented and utilized in big cities are nowhere to be found in rural areas just because it can not be applied. Bigger cities have more complex metro systems like the London Tube with its spider-web like lanes. It is an amazing feat of technological advance; nonetheless, small towns like those in Alaska do not have any need for it and will not be affected. Cities are crucial because they allow wealth to be exchanged across the glove that affects the citizens of those associated countries immensely. Also, cities are the cradle of technological advances that can eventually help to transform the neighboring small cities and rural towns to be more prosperous. Society is hugely affected by big cities and thus, one must study cities when studying important characteristics of a society. I appreciate any form of advice or help given to improve my writing. Thank you very much for your time and help!

Reduction of in accidents requires strategic steps to overcome the problem without impacting the rest of the surroundings. "Prevention is better than a cure" has been correctly quoted therefore the town council needs to take immediate actions as the summer is imminent and Balmer Island would become prone to frequent accidents. However it is more important to take appropriate actions subsuming all the assumptions to have a productive outcome rather than take a decision based on mere assumptions. To further validate the conclusion drawn here, one needs to ensure about the authenticty authenticity of the data represented. Although the moped is recognized as the popular form of transporation on Balmer island, but it is important to know "Were all the accidents during the last summer involved mopeds and pedestrian?" Also assurity should be gained in assumption such as "Were all the accidents have been engendered by the renting of mopeds to tourists and no other residents of Balmer Island were involved in driving the moped in any of the accidents?" If the reponse for this is not considered thent the concludion would be a mere conjecture. Balmer Island's tourism income contributes as a significant proportion to its economic development. Since Balmer Island attracts upto 100000 population during the summers it is imminent that the rental business would be at its zenith of the annual income during this period. It is essential to be well aware of the impact of reducing the rentals from 50% to 25% to the development of Balmer Island. If the rental business suffers loss it would eventually lead to reduction in issuing of license to rental businessman which will further impact the earnings of the town council which will further affect the development of Balmer Island in terms of tourism related maintanence. Also it is important to know that all the accidents happened over the last year were due to overcrowd on the road of Balmer Island and not the inappropriate driving of moped riders otherwise it would be more logical to issue the rental mopeds only to those tourists who have been issued a valid driver license in order to preclude the mishaps and rule out the possibility that the riders are not eligible enough to ride and lead to accidents. This way the accidents frequency would be more likely to reduce and also the imapact over the tourism business woould be minimum. Nice Paragraph As the argument concludes that the neighboring island of Seaville reduced the accident frequencies by limiting the rental of mopeds it is more important to know if the statistics and environment of Seaville similar to that of Balmer Island. The conclusion would be more persuasive if it elaborates the assumptions conspicuously that the population of Seaville and Balmer Island are comparable in summers i.e., "Are the population, infrastructure, tourist attraction capability same for Seaville as compared to Balmer Island?" otherwise it would be illogical to assume that whatever being represented for Seaville is applicable for Balmer Island as well irrespective of the environment, infrastructure of the town and increase in population during summer etc. Nice Conclusion My comments: I saw a couple grammatical and spelling errors in the beginning but it got much better as the essay progressed. I think your arguments are solid. Red: Syntax error Blue: Awkward wording