gubidal092

I used this thread as a reference before moving to DC two years ago (ack! that long ago?), and was kind of dismayed at how short it is compared to the other city guides. I can only really speak to my experience as a Georgetown grad student, so take my experience/advice for what it is. 
 
The base price of anything you can rent it around $1000. For a room and a (shared) bathroom. That is not to say that you cannot find things cheaper, but if you want a room of your own anywhere feasibly commutable to GU, that's generally around what you'll pay (by commutable, I mean under an hour commute via public transport. There is no parking for grad students at GU). The average price for renting a parking spot (from someone's driveway or a parking garage) is about $150/month. You are likely better off without a car. 
 
My first year I lived in Glover Park, a neighborhood essentially equidistant from American University and Georgetown. It is a beautiful and great place to be (especially for families, I think), and I enjoyed it, but it was less expensive to be in Arlington, VA (though not much less). It is easier to find apartments with parking spaces in Arlington, I find. It is also closer to several highways). Arlington is very popular for grad students and the shuttle is convenient. (It is also close to the metro.) 
 
As far as public transport goes, DC has plenty, but for my own comfort I decided to live only in places easily walkable to my campus (no more than 40 min walk) and ideally where I also have the option of taking my university's free public transport (busses). There do not appear to be any ways of getting a discount on public transport in DC (metro or busses). Even the monthly passes are EXPENSIVE. (student passes are only for students in high school or younger). 
 
I might add more to this later, but figured I would start by posting this.

Academics (and I am including myself here) tend to think we have cornered the market on "Imposter Syndrome". However, speaking with other people in other professions, this is a common feeling that pretty much everyone has (especially at the start of a new career or new position within their job). Similarly, people often feel they could never do someone else's job (even within the same office, believe me, I have consistently heard this from people), while feeling that anyone could do theirs. Grad students are some of the more neurotic people on the planet (again, I'm including myself), and we tend to forget that we are in this tiny bubble where everyone is smart and driven and experts in their field. But we are all also faking it (at least at the grad level). Don't worry; just keep faking it until you no longer feel like you're faking it. You are much more prepared than you think you are, and you are much better at your job than you feel. <3 
 
(Another side point of this is that people tend to advance in their careers (or education) until they reach their maximum level of incompetency, rather than their maximum point of competence. But, just remember that you are constantly "leveling up" -- the bosses just keep getting harder, that's why it doesn't feel like it's getting easier, even though if you checked, you have tons more XP than the average person. Because this comment needed a video game metaphor.) 

Academics (and I am including myself here) tend to think we have cornered the market on "Imposter Syndrome". However, speaking with other people in other professions, this is a common feeling that pretty much everyone has (especially at the start of a new career or new position within their job). Similarly, people often feel they could never do someone else's job (even within the same office, believe me, I have consistently heard this from people), while feeling that anyone could do theirs. Grad students are some of the more neurotic people on the planet (again, I'm including myself), and we tend to forget that we are in this tiny bubble where everyone is smart and driven and experts in their field. But we are all also faking it (at least at the grad level). Don't worry; just keep faking it until you no longer feel like you're faking it. You are much more prepared than you think you are, and you are much better at your job than you feel. <3 
 
(Another side point of this is that people tend to advance in their careers (or education) until they reach their maximum level of incompetency, rather than their maximum point of competence. But, just remember that you are constantly "leveling up" -- the bosses just keep getting harder, that's why it doesn't feel like it's getting easier, even though if you checked, you have tons more XP than the average person. Because this comment needed a video game metaphor.) 

Academics (and I am including myself here) tend to think we have cornered the market on "Imposter Syndrome". However, speaking with other people in other professions, this is a common feeling that pretty much everyone has (especially at the start of a new career or new position within their job). Similarly, people often feel they could never do someone else's job (even within the same office, believe me, I have consistently heard this from people), while feeling that anyone could do theirs. Grad students are some of the more neurotic people on the planet (again, I'm including myself), and we tend to forget that we are in this tiny bubble where everyone is smart and driven and experts in their field. But we are all also faking it (at least at the grad level). Don't worry; just keep faking it until you no longer feel like you're faking it. You are much more prepared than you think you are, and you are much better at your job than you feel. <3 
 
(Another side point of this is that people tend to advance in their careers (or education) until they reach their maximum level of incompetency, rather than their maximum point of competence. But, just remember that you are constantly "leveling up" -- the bosses just keep getting harder, that's why it doesn't feel like it's getting easier, even though if you checked, you have tons more XP than the average person. Because this comment needed a video game metaphor.) 

Academics (and I am including myself here) tend to think we have cornered the market on "Imposter Syndrome". However, speaking with other people in other professions, this is a common feeling that pretty much everyone has (especially at the start of a new career or new position within their job). Similarly, people often feel they could never do someone else's job (even within the same office, believe me, I have consistently heard this from people), while feeling that anyone could do theirs. Grad students are some of the more neurotic people on the planet (again, I'm including myself), and we tend to forget that we are in this tiny bubble where everyone is smart and driven and experts in their field. But we are all also faking it (at least at the grad level). Don't worry; just keep faking it until you no longer feel like you're faking it. You are much more prepared than you think you are, and you are much better at your job than you feel. <3 
 
(Another side point of this is that people tend to advance in their careers (or education) until they reach their maximum level of incompetency, rather than their maximum point of competence. But, just remember that you are constantly "leveling up" -- the bosses just keep getting harder, that's why it doesn't feel like it's getting easier, even though if you checked, you have tons more XP than the average person. Because this comment needed a video game metaphor.) 

I went through and did approximate times for hearing back from my schools: 
(SUNY) Univ. Buffalo -- Late Dec-Mid Jan  (thank goodness I've heard back from somewhere.)
Berkeley -- Late Feb (I'm going with latest dates reported in the last few years for hearing from a school, so I know this conflicts with what some other people reported) 
UPenn -- Late Feb
CUNY -- Mid-Late Feb
Harvard -- Late Feb
Yale -- Early March
Cornell -- Early-Mid Feb (last application is one of the earliest respondents? Srsly?)

It's a shame that you're having these issues, and first as someone who struggled with stress in the past that you need to carve out time to at least speak to a psychiatrist at your university (you should be able to do this for free as a student). You may feel like you don't have enough time for this, but a councilor/psychiatrist can help you learn stress management techniques that may make it easier to function and therefore save you time in the long run. It'll be worth it. 
 
Most of the people I know on fellowships (especially TAs) are working a little bit more than what they are paid for... That's just how it works. I also knew of a girl who was assigned to two projects at once (that couldn't be feasibly done in the amount of time they paid for, and she was just very clear that she would be only working the hours she was paid for, but that wasn't a TA position so it was a bit easier. Your professor should not be randomly handing you classes, but as her superiors seem unwilling to deal with that it is unlikely to change. Sounds like you'd be better off switching advisors/programs and be clear with the professors that while you are very capable and have experience TAing you do better when able to plan far in advance. You can probably even register with the school as having a disability (if you go to a psychiatrist and get formally diagnosed), which most schools allow for mental illnesses like stress and anxiety disorders. So the professor you work with would have to accommodate your need for advance planning. Since you've already been accepted at your new university they can't very well rescind their offer once you accept if they suddenly learn you have a stress disorder, though it could impact you for future applications to things, I don't know. 
 
You should move to the new university, IMHO, and it won't look like you "quit"; what you are doing is taking a new, better opportunity. And that's how you should approach it. Things aren't working out, and this is a PhD program over a masters. Most PhD programs (in fact, none that I've seen) do not require masters degrees. You just have to start at the same level as a masters and do the coursework before research, which they  mostly make you do anyway. If anyone asks or thinks it's weird you just explain that this university was a better opportunity, and if you have to talk about issues with your old advisor, mumble something about ideological differences, differing teaching philosophies, or changing research interests. No biggie. Everyone who has been a grad student understands that some professors are hell to TA for or work with. They'll get the code and probably drop the issue, if it even comes up. 
 
Hope some of that helps! 

I would consider writing the professor an email explaining your interest in and appreciation for the course; be specific and reference class discussion where relevant. Explain that you seem to be having "stage fright" but are eager to talk about the course. Most professors are very understanding about how different students participate in different ways. Remember, you're in grad school and you have to be your own advocate now. The squeaky wheel gets the grease! 
 
I would also consider finding a professional to talk to about your "paralysis" in class, whether its a university councilor, or someone who teaches public speaking. If there is a participation element to the course (as in, you are being poorly graded for not speaking), ask the professor if there is a way you can make up the participation aspect, perhaps through email or blackboard if your school uses it. Perhaps you could write an extra paper for the class? 
 
You might even want to ask about maybe doing a small talk during class; give a brief lecture over the course/your relevant experiences; you might find talking to the class easier than trying to add to a preexisting discussion, since you can rehearse and script yourself as much as you like. (This may also be even more terrifying to you, but sometimes these anxieties can work in interesting ways.) 

@hotsaranghae : If you're sure that you're going to accept Cornell, the polite thing to do is reject/withdraw your applications to other universities after accepting Cornell. This allows these universities to make room for other waitlisted students. Congrats on your acceptance!