sarah_123

What about going more in depth with that and elaborating why your culture/family expected you to do that, and the types of challenges you had to overcome to study history rather than something else (e.g., how did you justify it to yourself that it was worth breaking away from your family's expectations -- I would assume that it was not just "love" without any justification or was it?)? I think if you do this, it can be a good statement.

It seems that lots of the sentences are way too longer than they need to be. Also, what does the last sentence mean?

NoSleepTilBreuckelen >> sure, swapping is fine; I'll be happy to provide feedback!

Hello, Anyone willing to critique my statement of purpose (using it for applying to Psychology and Education PhD programs)? I already submitted it for one university as is but I'm afraid I need to make it much stronger to stand a chance. Please let me know if you could critique and I will pm it to you. Thanks so much!