Threesdu

Hi all, I'm not actually a grad student, but I came here to get some information for my boyfriend. He texted me today, horrifically depressed and said, "My PI is moving back to Japan at the end of March. He just told me. I'm just telling you so you don't ask why I didn't say anything, but I'm in a really bad, bad, BAD place right now. I don't want to talk about it." Silence. As any SO of a grad student will tell you, I've been there through it all. Too busy for dinner? I shall bring the fine dining experience to the lab. Need somebody to rant about your project to 24/7? I don't really understand some of it, but I'm your girl! Awww, you want company during one of your strings of all nighters? Sure, I'll come hangout with you...at the lab. I've seen how hard he's worked for the past year and a half. He hypothesized that his PI would get fired by the head honcho because he hasn't published anything in 2-3 years now. His PI (from what I hear) is very unorganized, spends a lot of time being "away" from the lab, and really isn't much of a leader. Personally, I think if my boyfriend can contact his program coordinator and explain the situation/enlist help contacting potential new PIs, then this could be a blessing in disguise. I've read up about this issue extensively now, and many people who made a switch said that starting a new project took much less time, since there was less trial and error. Im not sure if the PI will relinquish the research or take it with him, but the funds will be reallocated elsewhere. That said, my boyfriend is beyond distraught and won't even answer a text message right now, let alone discuss a plan of action. Right now he really needs somebody to be there for him. After spending hundreds of hours at the lab with him/discussing his project/listening to him rant/learning about all things medical biophysics and rearranging our relationship around grad school, I literally feel his pain. When I heard, I started to cry and got very stressed. Therefore I cannot even imagine how the hell he must feel right now. So, ADVICE! What would you do in this situation? Has this ever happened to you? If you have a personal story to share, I'd love to hear it and potentially share it with him when he's ready to talk. What do you think the best way for me to help/support him would be at this time? Thanks for reading OH, and we live in Toronto. He would be unable to move to Japan, although I'm not sure his PI gave him that option.