I agree with you completely. The vague communication by ASEE is very confusing and frustrating. I received an "honorable mention" for the NSF GRF, which is a bittersweet designation, but at least they only sent one cut and dry email and do not string you along.
I am also in the next state of the SMART application. I have had a phone interview, but I am wondering if I should expect to go through this same drawn out process with that program as well.