ppercutsfromreadingtoomuch

Thank you so much for your quick and insightful responses. I have met with my professor. Apparently he gave around the same grade to everyone, and is also giving me the chance to revise the essay and then turn it in again next week for a higher mark. The class will continue to be a challenge for me, but you are right, it is not only normal but also, in many ways, potentially fruitful for me to be out of my comfort zone and to push boundaries and try new things. That's one of the reasons why I am in grad school. So this class will be difficult, but hopefully if I keep putting the effort in the difficulties will be worth it and make me a more well-rounded Literature student in the end.

Hi everyone! I apologize if this post comes across as me making a big deal out of nothing, but this place seems like a supportive place to discuss the challenges of graduate school. I am in the middle of a Masters degree in Literature, and I felt that it was going beyond well. I was invited to present at 3 conferences, and recently have been invited to present at a 4th. I had received the highest national scholarship offered to MA students. I had 3 pieces published - 1 academic, 2 creative but in academic journals - and recently have been accepted to have a 4th piece published (this one academic). I received straight 4.0s for all my courses last term. I knew that I wanted to apply for a PhD - and I still do - but for the first time in my life I was confident enough that I thought I would actually apply to a couple top 20 schools along with other more second-tier schools. However, I am currently in a course that is outside of my research interests and that is a topic I have never taken before. I am taking it to fulfill breadth requirements within my program, but from the start I have felt anxious about the course and have made a point of regularly checking in with my prof. Recently, our first essay came due and I knew that it was not my best piece of writing since the topic was outside my comfort zone, but I put quality time and care into writing it. The prof gave back our essays at the end of last week and I received a B+/A-. It is the lowest grade that I have received on an assignment thus far in my MA career, and the main reason why I am panicking is because our program's grading rubric says that a B+ indicates the essay is below the quality of PhD work though fulfills many of the graduate level work requirements. Now I know that I received a B+/A- not just a B+, but I am still worried. Maybe it is unreasonable for me to be as worried as I am, but now I am second guessing my writing abilities and thinking maybe I shouldn't bother applying to top tier schools. My confidence in my graduate level abilities has been totally unsettled. I have a meeting with my professor this afternoon to go over the essay and I do understand the feedback he gave me with regards to my writing. If I were to rewrite this particular essay, I could definitely employ his feedback - but I worry because I feel that if I were to approach writing another brand new essay, I wouldn't know how to employ his feedback. I guess the main thing is that I am very disappointed in myself for not writing up to my standards even when I put the effort in, and I feel like this disappointment has kicked my confidence. Could really use and would totally appreciate some insight and support, since I know that the majority of grad students have been in this position at one time or another in their graduate career. Thanks and, again, so sorry if I am overreacting.