Thank you - everyone - for your feedback. This is the type of writing I struggle with, so I appreciate all the feedback I've received thus far. I am by training a speech writer, so adjectives, political overtones, and all that crap is what comes out of me by default. They do not, however, have any place here. I have started with a clean sheet of paper, and it is a laborious process, as you all know. I would like to share my new introduction, for further feedback from anyone willing to continue to help. Don't pull any punches.