Asperfemme

Thanks. I really don't have a lot of information to go by, but say there was this girl I've met at a political get-together not long ago. She added me on Facebook and then later, I've noticed that even though I was still on her friends list, I couldn't view her profile (it looked as though she blocked me). However, when I unfriended her, I could see her profile again. It was just strange. Perhaps I should be honest about who my friends are. I am just scared about others' perception of my status and other social implications of this disclosure. I'm glad that it's possible to be successful in a lab without necessarily being friends with the people in the lab. Hopefully it is the same in the program I am applying to. I do find my friends don't understand sometimes how demanding the academia + working can be. I hope I'll have enough time in the end to pursue the research, practical, and social the areas of my life properly without having to leave my existing autistic social circle.

I'm in a very unique situation and would appreciate some advice and/or comments as to how this scenario could potentially unravel for me in grad school. I have a lot of friends outside of school. Most of them happen to be somewhere on the autism spectrum. It's not really relevant as to how I have become part of that circle, but I have been part of it for years and have bonded very closely with these people. Also, I don't have a lot of "concrete interests" like music or movies - I am interested in either the people I know or the academic research that relates to my interests (mostly to do with autism, behaviourism, and language development). I am the top student in my undergrad program (Psychology) and have a decent amount of professional experience in the developmental services field (aside from my social life). However, because my social identity lies within my private circle of friends who are considered "very different" and perhaps "inferior" by many, I have always felt like an outsider everywhere else. I've been reading here that you sort of become part of the "lab circle" you're with when you're in grad studies and I really cannot imagine that happening to me, because my values and my interests are so different once people get to know me more closely. When people outside of my autistic circle meet me, they often think I'm really cool, but then some of them seem to get freaked out once they add me on Facebook. As a result, I've become pretty secretive about my social life with outsiders, as I am not sure how to reveal it properly so that they don't think less of me. I also cannot imagine having to disengage from my existing circle of friends because of the social and academic demands of grad school. I currently spend at least 10 hours a week interacting with my friends; I've kind of become emotionally dependent on them. Even so, it's hard to keep up with them sometimes. Any advice on how to manage this and what I should expect in graduate school?

Reading this is really helpful for me, as well - I am thinking of getting coffee gift cards for two of my LOR writers based on their coffee taste and a pen/pen set for the third writer who I know gets coffee from other sources but told me he always loses his pens. Should I tell the LOR writer in advance that I am planning to get him a gift afterwards? There is one person I haven't received letters from yet (the application deadline is the second week of January) so I'm tempted to let him know that I will send him a thank-you thing afterward.

Yup, same thing for me. I'm applying to one school but essentially two programs within one area. I'm confined to a commuting distance, but it's also a money issue. Applying is darn expensive for someone who lives off money earned from 10 hours of work per week. Part of me also wants to find a full-time job and experience that for a while before getting back into school again (that is, if I do not get accepted, of course!).

Okay, very helpful to know. Thank you!

Okay. I have had them write the SSHRC (graduate scholarship) references already, which are quite involved and extensive, so they have my CV from that. I am not sure why one of the referees/recommenders wanted the SOP on top of that - perhaps because it expands on my experiences and my commitment to the field more in-depth? So perhaps I should just assume they'll ask me if they need anything else from me before they complete a reference? I do want to make sure they have enough information to write me a good one. What makes it trickier is not knowing what exactly the recommendation letter templates are asking my recommenders, since the forms are all electronically sent directly to them.

One of my recommenders asked me to send him my SOP to help him write the LOR. Is it a common practice to send the SOP to all of my referring profs, or should I wait for them to ask me to send the materials they might need? My SOP contains semi-personal information that I have not disclosed in any shape or form to one of these profs, so I don't want to just send it around. Should I just contact them again and ask them what they need? I don't want to bother them too much, either.

I think it would be helpful for us to know the specifics of why people are telling you that you messed up the interviews. There are a lot of things that the profs in psychology PhD programs look for, that make sense in the context of the given program. For school psych, I'd think they look for both practical experience (e.g. psychometric experience with children) and research experience in relevant streams.