GoldenRyujin

Thanks. Looking back on it, I should have taken that red flag right when she said "I don't have a choice" and made the decision to go strait to financial aid to get a bigger loan for housing, maybe I was too optimistic or simply just ignorant of what its like to live with her. I'm just sick of living on other people's terms and on the whimsical mercy of their ability to treat me badly or kick me out whenever they feel like it. I even feel like an unwanted stranger in this house that I had lived in since 8th grade with my dad ,(- undergrad college anyway) the only people who seem to welcome my presence is my 5 and 7 year old siblings (who are blissfully ignorant and unable to pick up on the tense atmosphere at home) and my mother who's actually really helping me try to find a job and the only adult encouraging me and not constantly reminding me of past failures right now. If had the $ I'd be rolling out of this city at the crack of dawn to show up at closest apartment complex to grad school to give myself the best chance to succeed.. Yeah I'll need to take leave of absence or temporarily withdraw (if my program allows those things) if my dad indeed kicks me out like he stated sometime next week and by then I'll be on the streets somewhere focusing on basic survival instead of grad school. I'm sorry if I sound really negative to anyone who reads this, I'm still trying to stay positive and keep my head up above water through this situation.

Thanks, I hope I can find a solution too. I know he recently got a new job that he says pays less money than the previous one, but I don't know if that's the reason why my dad became so defensive about me staying here. You have a great point because that's exactly what my mom said, she never expected him kick me out without giving me a chance. I mean, even as mean spirited as my grandmother has been she still agreed to let me live there for a semester. And I'm only going to one class 1 time a week (2 classes alternate thursdays one week online next week offline, and I'm taking 1 online class so 3 total) instead of 2 days a week so the total distance per week seems very comparable . Living far away from school with a bum car and angry relatives was simply not the way to go it seems. Its great that some people 21+ can make it work to live with their relatives smoothly but doesn't seem to work quite well with me.

No, I asked my dad again and he simply repeated what he said before in that I will not be allowed to stay here for the semester. I've been over everything with him at least 3x now and the only thing that changes is his anger level. And I forgot to mention my vehicle has been anything but reliable given what I told you in my most recent post. You guys were right in that this car thats close to 200,000 miles "can be a litle wonky" trusting it to get me through long trips multiple times a week. Its been having issues all 2014 long and its still having a serious issue of randomly not being able to start and now a gurgling sound is coming out of my engine. My dad's car has been having constant problems as well, and my stepmoms car had a problem in April where the whole computer system had to be replaced and some other things that ended up costing more than some decent used cars you can buy. I was just out looking for jobs today and the damn thing wouldn't start on me when I was turning in job applications in the city. Took near 15 min to coax it to starting. Pretty much the only person I can really talk to about this is my mom, who doesn't just end up erupting in a rage and actually listen to me. Shes told me multiple times that she would let me live with her if it were her house, but unfortunately that is not the case. You know how my grandma is and my dad is basically very similar to her it seems now, just prone to constant anger , berating me over past ills, and not listening to me. He was a lot nicer towards me in college but I'm starting to see this rage side of him I tried to avoid my whole childhood. I get what you're saying shadowclaw, I know its my fault for not trying to see as early as possible whether I could live with my grandma or not. I made the mistake of going by how she treated me prior to living with her, when I really didn't have any idea how she would act when I actually tried to live with her . If I had been smart about the issue I would have just gone to financial aid office as soon as possible and asked them for as big of a loan to cover housing and a basic meal plan . But then again there's no way back in May when I was accepted that I would have believed that I'd be shown the boot by my closest family members.

Have a 3.0 GPA coming out of my first semester. Didn't have a great one trying to live with my grandmother for the first time (trying to save on housing loans), I have discovered that I could survive there but I'm miserable there. I'm hoping I can find some way to be able to live very close to school or even on the campus, but it seems that increasing my loans is the only way. Gma lives 1hr drive from the school, so that sucks. Don't have the gas to go there for anything more than class days so no friends at school or in the program. Being in this situation right now I realize how incredibly fortunate I was to have housing at school or very close to school for all 4 years of my undergrad, it wasn't something I ever had to worry about my entire life until now (having a place to live). I work some part time jobs in undergrad but my dad paid most of housing costs which I am very thankful for. He's not in a position to help me pay for housing costs , or anything besides gas and some food if I need it, for graduate school and beyond.

Hey guys its GoldenDragonArms , I just had a difficult time signing in to my account so I made another one. Updating you on the situation. So I spent the first semester with my grandmother and it did not go so well. I've been applying for part time jobs and trying to study for the semester. When I initally asked to live there she was quite pissed looking and she said these words "Well I don't have a choice do I?" once I asked her to live with her and my mom in August. I think its only because my mom really tried hard to help me persuade her to live there, she's did it more as a favor for my mom than me I guess. I just had an immediate feeling that she didn't want me there and things weren't going to go smoothly, and they did not. I've gotten into arguments with her on a regular basis and she seems to try to keep reminding me verbally and non verbally that she doesn't like the fact I'm living there. She loves listening to her loud TV at night and a good bit during the day (very small house her room is right next to mine) and I have told her repeatedly that it's too loud for me to be able to concentrate. She refuses to do anything I ask because "its my house and I do what I want in my house. Be grateful I even let you live here!" I told her that the libraries in my city are full of idiots rapping and arguing with each other and its not at atmosphere conductive to studying but she wouldn't budge. So its hard for me to study there and I only had gas to go to school 2 days a week for class attendance. I had one horrible situation where my car was out of commision for a week when I was trying to find out what was keeping it from starting and fixing that problem. Basically on tuesday I tried to crank my car up, and it simply would not crank. I needed to get to class immediately and didn't have much time left. I asked her to borrow her car so I could go to class (this happened to be on the day where I take my only mid term of the semester) and she initally said no. I was extremely panicked because I had to take that exam and no make ups for it either, so I fail if I don't go. It took me more than 15 min to persuade her to let me use her car and she was more than upset about it, I even drove to the exam with my mind so out of sorts about the car and her I barely could concentrate on the material. I swear you really get to see people's true personalities once you try to hunker down and live with them, not all grandmothers are the kindly sweet kind I will attest to that. So basically I felt like I was in a situation where I was constantly coming "home" to a place where I was not wanted which is a horrible feeling to have. I searched for and applied for a part time job locally during this semster but was unable to get one yet. The only thing I can really do is keep applying and hpe someone hires me. Academically,I ended up making withdrawing from one class, so I took two courses. I got an A in one course and a C in another course, so GPA is 3.0 . Luckily it takes more than 1 C for the program to toss me out so I'm still a student there. So for current events, I'm still applying for jobs and just HOPING that someone will actually hire me. My grandmother says I can't live there for the 2nd semester unless I am currently employed, my dad says he will not let me live at home during the semester reguardless of whether I have a job or not. So basically I'm being kicked out by my family. School starts next Mon Jan 12th, first actual class is on Thursday. I don't have any friends that I can just ask to let me live with them. The only friend I have that lives even remotely in driving distance to the my school, he lives with his mom in an already overcrowded house with perpetual visitors so that's a no go. No other family members even remotely close to the school. I'm currently living at my dads house right now since I'm still calendar wise on my school's winter break period, but like I said I said school officially starts back again on Monday. He told me I can't live here during the semester, so I'm expecting hes just going to kick me out some day next week. I'm hoping he somehow just doesn't say anything and let me keep living here until I find a job, but he's said repeatedly and very angrily and adamantly I will not live here for the 2nd semester. I'm very seriously considering increasing my loans in order to live at school during my 2nd semester. That won't solve my immediate situation, but I'm hoping I get a job very quickly somehow , can live at my gmas house for just as long as it takes to apply for loan increase for housing, and then get the housing and get a job down near my school soon afterwards. I've already had to take out thousands of dollars of loans just to pay for school costs and don't like the idea of taking on more debt than I have to, but in this situation where my family's not wanting me to live with them and I can't live with my grandmother, it may be worth it to be a few thousand more dollars in debt.