throwawaychemist

Alright so what if I said something like this: "Dear Prof. X, I realize I didn't explain myself clearly. I feel confident that I will be able to get some sort of outside fellowship during my graduate career so you are correct in that the fellowship was not the main factor in my decision. There were many other factors that went into making my choice! I really liked the research at School A and I feel confident in my decision. I'm sorry I wasn't able to visit School B, but I would be honored to work with you again in the future."

Oh man I didn't think of it that way... I thought it would be insulting to him if I said I liked the research and environment at school A better and thought school A was a better fit. I basically just used the fellowship as an excuse to so I didn't have to say I didn't like School B as much. The money really was not my main factor. As I mentioned in my previous post, I had made my final decision to go to School A BEFORE I found out about the fellowship. I love the research at A school, I've already established solid relationships with my top PI and other profs at school A and there were other factors of course! So I was set on going there anyway, the fellowship was an added benefit... It was not the sole or even main factor. I realize I didn't convey that very well.

Sorry I should have been more clear. I had made my final decision to go to School A BEFORE I found out about the fellowship. I love the research at A school, I've already established solid relationships with my top PI and other profs at school A and there were other factors of course! So I was set on going there anyway, the fellowship was an added benefit... It was not the sole or even main factor. I realize I didn't convey that very well. Even though I am not required to teach, I know it is important experience to have so I probably will anyway. But with this fellowship I can choose when I want to teach and which classes. It will be nice to not have to teach and take courses at the same time so I can focus on my research. I have already made the official decision & notified school A. Perhaps I am reading his emails wrong & it's not a big deal. But I still don't know how to reply to his most recent email.

So here's some backstory, I did an internship in Prof X's lab two summers ago at school B. I loved the research but the lab environment was not very friendly. So I applied to school B since I asked prof X for letters of rec. I visited only 3 of the 5 schools I got accepted to. I didn't visit school B since I had spent a summer there and I had limited number of visits to make, I needed to see other programs I told Prof X this back in Feb very politely. So in the meantime, I visit School A and I loved school A, the research is awesome, the profs really recruited me, and the cherry on top was that I got the prestigious Y fellowship to school A for 37K/yr for 3 years, travel funds and no teaching etc. Pretty boss. School B offered me a stipend of only 25K and with required teaching duties. I made my decision to go to school A. Before I got a chance to tell Prof X of my final decision (which I made monday evening), I got an email on Tues saying, "Hi Throwaway Chemist I hope you have had nice visits to graduate schools! I was worried that the fact that you did not schedule to visit School B might have meant that we are lower on your list. I am writing to tell you that we, especially myself, would be very excited to have you back for graduate school (well, that was essentially the most important thing I wrote in my recommendation letter for you that probably got you into most of the graduate schools you applied for). Even though you have spent the summer at School B, a lot of new things are happening here. In the specific case of our group, we have a lot of new research projects growing rapidly even in the last 2 years (for example, you probably have not seen Grad Student's first paper in JACS). You can see some of the updated research in our recently updated research webpages. Let me know if you have questions and would like to talk more on the phone. Prof X" I replied back with, "Dear Prof. X, I am especially grateful for your letters of recommendation! I was only able to arrange three graduate school visits of the five schools I was accepted to since I also went to ACS. Anymore visits would have been too much travel and missing too many classes. I was going to email you today anyway to inform you I was not recommended for the NSF fellowship. I had good comments from reviewers so I will try again next year! I saw Grad Student's paper in JACS last spring, it is a really great paper! That's very exciting for her, congrats! In terms of research, School B and School A were at the top of my list of graduate schools. All in all, the decision process was a very difficult as both schools have phenomenal research and facilities. However, I was awarded the Y Fellowship at School A so that is what ultimately tipped my decision to attend School A for graduate school. I very much enjoyed my time working in your lab. It has been very instrumental in forming my academic career! I thank you for your continued support. I hope I will be able to continue to scientifically interact with you and your lab group more in the future! Respectfully, Throwawaychemist" Well he shoots back with... "Dear Throwawaychemist Sorry to hear that you did not get the NSF fellowship this time. I would imagine that you were highly competitive, but I think there was some recent shift from NSF to fund more current graduate students than senior undergraduate students. Both of the second year students in the group, got it this time (their 2nd try). I am surprised that, in the end, you are thinking about School A mainly due to their fellowship... I was thinking maybe you are attracted to programs such as Berkeley, Stanford, etc..., which are obviously more competitive than School B or School A and alike. [editor's note: I didn't even apply to these programs and school A & B are ranked just beneath those schools] The materials chemistry area at School A is much less strong than School B, the fellowship is just a short term thing (if you keep trying with a better research proposal, you will very likely get an NSF fellowship in graduate school), at least in my mind that should not be the major factor in your choice of the graduate program. Plus City of School A is just much less interesting place than City of School B. Most of my graduate students had the options of going to School A when they were going to graduate school. Perhaps I should have persuaded you to visit School B again this spring, so you have a more clear comparison between the different programs. After all, you have learned and seen much more about research in the last 2 years. If you want to make a ad voc visit, I think this could still happen, especially if you drive here. If useful, we can talk more on the phone about these. Prof X" TLDR; I pissed off a prof I did an undergrad internship for by choosing a different school. IMO, this prof was really disrespectful. I am totally confident in my choice of grad school. But at this point I don't even know what to say so I haven't responded & I'm not sure even I even should. I'm just surprised he is so upset. He wrote letters for my Goldwater Scholarship (which was successful), NSF fellowships and grad schools... now I feel like I can't ask him for any more LORs. I have other references, but I really don't want to burn bridges this early in my career. Has anyone had anything similar happen to them? Any advice on how I should handle this?